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0:12 Let's just start right away. Berasil TV 0:24 . 98, 8, uh. Six. Four, three, two, one 0:38 . 0:40 >> In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious 0:41 , the Most Merciful. Peace be upon you, 0:43 and Allah's mercy and blessings, 0:45 brothers and sisters, may Allah have 0:46 mercy on you. Praise be to Allah and 0:51 thanks to Allah, we are reunited in the 0:55 Women's Fiqh program, which we hope 0:58 will make us sisters far more optimal 1:01 in our roles, and may everyone be 1:04 healthy, fit, and in safe control. 1:10 Today, as usual, we do not forget to 1:12 send blessings to the leader of the 1:14 community, our beloved, Muhammad the 1:16 Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings 1:18 be upon him. May we be reunited with 1:22 him at a time we long for in the 1:25 hereafter. As usual, the one present 1:29 for Women's Fiqh is Ustazah Herlini 1:32 Amran. It is a pity that Mbak Walin 1:34 cannot be here. But we can still follow 1:37 this program, and she is already there 1:39 on the other end. Peace be upon you, 1:42 and Allah's mercy and blessings. 1:45 >> And peace be upon you, and Allah's 1:47 mercy and blessings. Are you all well, 1:49 Mbak Nuning? 1:50 >> Praise be to Allah. 1:51 >> Praise be to Allah. 1:52 >> Earlier, off-air, we spoke about how 1:55 much we lose when our tongues become 1:59 the sharpest weapons because they can 2:02 wound many things. So, precisely, we 2:08 are discussing 2:08 >> when the tongue, when the tongue wounds 2:11 the heart. 2:12 >> Okay. When the tongue wounds the heart, 2:16 what is the process like and how do we 2:19 handle it? Let's listen with all our 2:21 hearts and all our feelings. Please, 2:23 Ustazah. 2:24 >> Yes. May Allah reward you. In the name 2:26 of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most 2:27 Merciful. Praise be to Allah, Lord of 2:31 the Worlds, a grateful praise, a praise 2:33 that is many and increasing, O our Lord 2:35 , for You is all praise for faith, for 2:38 You is all praise for Islam, O our Lord 2:40 . For You is praise for the Quran, for 2:44 You is praise for our family and 2:46 possessions, for You is praise for 2:47 everything. That You have bestowed upon 2:50 us. O Allah, send prayers, peace, and 2:53 blessings upon our master Muhammad, and 2:55 upon his family and all his companions. 2:58 Our discussion this afternoon, on this 3:01 day glorified by Allah, is about the 3:04 tongue. When the tongue wounds the 3:07 heart. We may have heard that there are 3:11 people who are wounded. Wounds that do 3:15 not bleed but are extraordinarily 3:18 painful. 3:19 >> There are wounds that are visible for 3:22 years. The wounds are not visible, but 3:25 for years they have not healed. And one 3:28 of the causes could be the tongue. This 3:31 tongue truly has an extraordinary 3:35 impact and influence on us; it can 3:38 affect our lives. It can make us suffer 3:42 for decades. Sometimes we still 3:45 remember the sentences from people that 3:47 pierced our hearts, for decades, 3:49 perhaps a lifetime. Never forgotten 3:52 because their tongues hurt our hearts 3:54 so much. Now, on this occasion, we are 3:59 not discussing the tongue that utters 4:02 words that wound, but how our position 4:05 is when there are words from the 4:07 tongues of people around us, whoever 4:10 they may be, that wound our hearts. So, 4:15 how do we respond to it? If the tongue 4:19 itself, it is clear, has an 4:20 extraordinary impact that throws many 4:22 of Muhammad's followers, peace and 4:24 blessings be upon him, into hellfire. 4:26 That is because of the tongue. Now, we 4:28 are discussing what is related to when 4:31 that tongue wounds our hearts. 4:34 >> We can take this from Surah Yasin, 4:36 verse 76. How the Messenger of Allah, 4:40 peace be upon him, is addressed, which 4:43 reads: "A'udhu billahi 4:44 minash-shaytanir-rajim, innahum...""... 4:49 in amirun." 4:53 >> This is a command from Allah to the 4:56 Messenger, providing a warning or a 4:59 reminder to be understood by the 5:02 Prophet, and this also applies to us. " 5:05 Fala yahzunka qauluhum.""So do not let 5:08 their words sadden you." Yes. So, O 5:10 Messenger, O Muhammad, those are the 5:12 words from Allah. Do not be saddened by 5:17 what they say. "Inna na'lamu ma 5:20 yusirruna wa ma yu'linun.""Indeed, We 5:24 know what they conceal and what they 5:26 declare." So, Allah is the one who 5:29 knows what is in their hearts. The 5:30 important part is "fala yahzunka 5:32 qauluhum." Do not be sad, okay, by what 5:35 they say. Now, or for example in Surah 5:37 Al-Hijr verses 97-98, "wa laqad na'lamu 5:39 annaka yadiqu shadruka bima yaqulun."" 5:50 And We surely know that your chest is 5:54 constricted by what they say.""So 5:58 glorify your Lord with praise and be 6:02 among those who prostrate." Now, we 6:05 know what the message of these verses 6:07 is, right? For example, "wa laqad 6:11 na'lamu," We know what they say. So, 6:16 Allah mentions here—Allah does not 6:18 say "do not," what it means is—do not 6:21 feel hurt. Don't feel hurt, don't take 6:24 it to heart. But Allah says: " 6:28 >> We know what they say." The point here 6:32 is that the Messenger was indeed hurt 6:35 by his people, by his community at that 6:38 time. "So do not be sad." So the 6:42 Messenger was not ordered to be weak, 6:43 but he did experience sadness because 6:45 of their words. But you, do not—do 6:48 not be sad. Meaning, we know you are 6:50 sad, like that. So Allah is not telling 6:52 the Messenger "don't be sad, you aren't 6:53 allowed to be sad." No, it is not a 6:55 prohibition against feeling sad. The 6:57 meaning here is how the Messenger was 6:59 also once hurt by his people with words 7:02 accused against him. Because we know he 7:05 was spreading the call of Tawhid. He 7:07 was commanded by Allah. But his people, 7:10 my God, their words were extraordinary, 7:13 they were truly hurtful. Like accusing 7:16 the Messenger of being a sorcerer, a 7:19 liar, a madman, a poet. And Allah 7:23 immortalized some of their accusations 7:25 in the Qur'an. "Wa yaquluna a-inna 7:27 la-tariku alihatina li-sha'irin""... 7:31 majnun." Yes, they said, "Should we 7:33 abandon our gods for the sake of a mad 7:36 poet?" The Messenger was called "a mad 7:39 poet." My God, just imagine. The 7:42 Messenger of Allah is the most noble 7:43 human being. The chosen one, yet there 7:48 were still people who said very bad 7:50 things about him. Now, we are learning 7:54 here, perhaps we are not the same as 7:57 the Messenger, but we experience the 8:00 same things. We might receive unkind 8:04 words from people, so we learn that the 8:08 truth does not always make us liked by 8:11 everyone. So, not everything people say 8:15 should we take to heart. This is the 8:19 Prophet, and what he brought was al-Haq 8:22 , the truth, God's commands, the 8:24 revelation, yet people still, as the 8:26 saying goes, used their tongues to hurt 8:29 him deeply, calling him crazy or a 8:31 sorcerer, may God protect us. So, fala 8:34 yahzunka qauluhum. Do not let their 8:37 words sadden you. That does not mean we 8:40 must pretend not to be hurt or sad; 8:41 that is impossible. It is impossible 8:45 for us not to feel hurt when people say 8:47 things that deeply offend our feelings. 8:51 But we learn, we learn from the word of 8:53 God mentioned earlier, and what 8:55 happened to the Prophet. Because the 8:57 Prophet is our role model. We learn not 9:00 to give control over our inner peace to 9:03 the words of men. People may speak as 9:06 they please; they have mouths. People 9:08 may say whatever they want; they have 9:09 their own perspectives. People may 9:11 misunderstand us. People may accuse us 9:14 or belittle us. Whatever, it is up to 9:16 them. But Allah knows the actual truth. 9:21 Allah knows what is hidden and what is 9:22 visible. Inna na'lamu ma yusirruna wa 9:25 yu'linun. Allah knows what is concealed 9:27 and what is revealed. Yes, so when we 9:31 are mistreated by people's words, 9:33 perhaps accused of slander, gossip, or 9:36 causing discord—all kinds of things 9:39 —hurt, or insulted by things we never 9:42 did. We do not always have to be busy 9:45 explaining ourselves to everyone. I do 9:47 not feel the need to be busy defending 9:50 myself or explaining. "Oh, I am not 9:52 like that." It is unnecessary. Allah 9:53 knows our truth, and that is enough. 9:55 Yeah. 9:56 >> One day, Allah will show what is true 9:59 and what is not. Just be patient. Allah 10:01 will provide a way out for the pain in 10:04 our hearts. Yes, so return everything 10:07 to Allah. Yes, that is why Allah said 10:09 in that verse earlier, wa laqad na'lamu 10:12 annaka yadiqu sadruka bima yaqulun. We 10:15 know that your chest becomes tight 10:16 because of what they say. Allah knows. 10:19 We feel sad, we feel grief, even the 10:21 Messenger felt it, O Allah. But Allah 10:23 immediately gave a way out. Fasabbih 10:26 bihamdi rabbika wa kun minas-sajidin. 10:29 This is the key. So when we are hurt by 10:33 others, insulted, berated, lied about, 10:36 or all sorts of things. And usually, it 10:40 is the people closest to us who hurt us 10:42 . It could be our spouse, our child, 10:45 our in-laws, maybe our neighbors, the 10:47 community, or anyone, where we have 10:49 done nothing, yet their words are 10:51 incredible. So here is the way out that 10:54 Allah provided, for even the Prophet 10:55 suffered even worse. The accusations of 10:58 his people, being called crazy or a 11:00 sorcerer, were extreme. Our situation 11:02 is nothing compared to that. But Allah 11:04 provided the way out: fasabbih bihamdi 11:07 rabbika wa kun minas-sajidin. So 11:10 glorify your Lord with praise and be 11:13 among those who prostrate. So it is as 11:17 if Allah is teaching us through this 11:20 verse that if people's words make your 11:23 chest feel tight, do not keep dwelling 11:26 on those words. Do not overthink it, do 11:29 not keep reminding yourself, do not 11:30 keep dwelling on it. Do not let those 11:33 words become something that hurts us so 11:36 deeply that it makes our lives 11:38 difficult. Instead, turn your heart 11:40 toward Allah. Increase your dhikr, seek 11:43 forgiveness, and prostrate. We share 11:46 our heartaches and pain with Allah in 11:49 prayer. Perhaps we have been hurt or 11:53 saddened by a single sentence, not by a 11:56 physical blow, not by loss of wealth, 11:58 but by words spoken in just a few 12:01 minutes or seconds that we remember for 12:04 years. The phrasing, the narrative, 12:07 just keeps playing in our minds. "You 12:09 really are just like that, aren't you?" 12:12 "You're a know-it-all," or something 12:13 similar. "You are nobody.""Who do you 12:16 think you are?" Those are brief words, 12:19 spoken in a few seconds, yet the pain 12:21 is extraordinary. And it usually comes 12:24 from those closest to us. So when that 12:26 happens and we experience it, we ask 12:29 ourselves, we return to ourselves. "O 12:33 Allah, why did they treat me like that? 12:35 " Even though I am hurt, I am sad. So 12:38 return it all to Allah. Allah knows. 12:42 Therefore, we must return those words 12:45 to Allah. So there is no need to 12:48 overthink it. Thinking about it might 12:49 bring sadness, yes. But do not let our 12:51 chests feel constricted by constantly 12:54 dwelling on it. Those words are very 12:56 hurtful, but we must return them to 12:58 Allah. Allah comforts us. "Fala 13:00 yahzunka quluhum." Do not let their 13:03 words sadden you. This is a true 13:04 consolation. O Allah. Even the Prophet 13:07 was called all sorts of things. What I 13:08 am going through is nothing, it is not 13:10 much. May Allah strengthen me, may 13:13 Allah grant me patience. Allah knows 13:17 everything that is in that person's 13:19 heart. So when people's words hurt us, 13:24 we must entrust all judgment to Allah. 13:28 Surrender it back to Allah. We praise 13:32 Allah, we ask for strength, and we 13:33 return everything to Allah. Because 13:36 human hearts belong to Allah. It may be 13:39 that right now we are being blamed, 13:41 insulted, or cursed, but destiny keeps 13:43 moving forward. Life will turn around. 13:46 One day, the one who hurt us may 13:48 experience something that makes them 13:50 feel even more pain. Yes, it means that 13:53 each of us is responsible for what we 13:55 do and what we say. 13:57 >> If we say something untrue, a slander, 13:59 we will feel the consequences and the 14:01 repercussions ourselves. Just wait for 14:03 the time. Especially for those who are 14:06 oppressed, the words of those who wrong 14:08 us, if we surrender them to Allah, it 14:10 is Allah who will act. O Allah, that is 14:13 heavy. That is why when our hearts 14:15 depend on humans, our hearts are never 14:17 at peace. But when we hang our hearts 14:21 upon Allah, it is enough for Allah to 14:23 know how it feels to be in pain, O 14:25 Allah. When we remember Allah and 14:28 praise Him, serenity will emerge. 14:31 Therefore, not every word needs to be 14:34 answered. Not every insult requires us 14:38 to be busy defending ourselves. It's 14:40 not necessary. Especially if we 14:42 understand Surah Al-Furqan verse 63. Wa 14:46 'ibadur-rahmanillazina yamsuna' 14:49 alal-ardi haunaw wa iza 14:51 khatabahumul-jahiluna qalu salama. That 14:55 is one of the attitudes and traits of 14:58 the servants of the Most Compassionate, 15:00 Ar-Rahman. What are the servants of 15:03 Ar-Rahman like? When they walk upon the 15:06 earth, they do so with humility, yes. 15:11 When they face ignorant people, those 15:14 whose hobby is hurting others, when 15:17 those people greet them or interact 15:21 with them, they don't respond with 15:24 words that might hurt us back; the 15:27 answer is peace. So they speak good 15:31 words, salama. Wa iza 15:33 khatabahumul-jahilun. If ignorant 15:35 people speak to them, there is no need 15:37 to retaliate. The response is to say 15:40 peace, yes. So, for example, if someone 15:44 insults us, like "You've always been 15:47 like that.""You're just like that, you 15:51 never change.""You think you're 15:53 something, and everything else," 15:55 basically. We don't need to feel like, 15:58 well, we just answer, "If I am wrong, I 16:01 apologize; I don't want this 16:03 conversation to become a sin for me." 16:06 Just stay silent or whatever. It 16:08 doesn't mean we are weak. It means we 16:11 are capable of controlling ourselves. 16:12 Now, this is especially experienced 16:14 within families. For instance, we find 16:18 our parents speaking to their children 16:21 in an extraordinary way. Maybe due to 16:26 age, their speech is uncontrollable, 16:29 long-winded, and their nagging is 16:32 incredible; sometimes they make 16:34 accusations, right? It can be hurtful 16:38 at times. But what can we do, these are 16:41 our parents? But this is not right. But 16:44 they like to accuse, so just be patient 16:45 and stay silent. Because I once heard 16:49 information that our elderly parents 16:52 are sometimes more prone to 16:54 schizophrenia, they say. 16:56 >> Hm. 16:57 >> Yes, it means a kind of mental 16:59 disturbance. Yeah. 17:00 >> So, if there was dissatisfaction in 17:03 their youth, it manifests in old age, 17:05 so they like to bring up the past. 17:08 Their nagging can last for hours. And 17:12 when they speak, it hurts. So, with 17:14 this kind of model, for example, just 17:15 don't listen to it. Even if we are 17:17 worried about being considered 17:19 disobedient, just stay silent. Just 17:21 pray to Allah. "O Allah, give me 17:23 strength; O Allah, I don't want to hurt 17:25 my parents." After all, they are our 17:28 parents. So, let's pray for the best 17:30 for them. Let's be patient. Qalu salama 17:33 ? Well, let's just not prolong the 17:35 matter. Since they are parents, we 17:37 don't have to listen, or perhaps we 17:39 don't have to take their words to heart 17:41 . Yes, so if we look back to the 17:44 Prophet Muhammad as our role model, the 17:46 Prophet was hurt by some truly terrible 17:49 words. But he was patient, he did not 17:52 respond, he answered with kindness 17:54 instead. He is a noble person, and the 17:57 Prophet is like a father to us. 17:59 Hopefully, as time passes, we can 18:02 forget those words. Now, if we are 18:06 slandered, of course, we shouldn't 18:07 immediately retaliate. Yeah. 18:10 >> At the very least, as long as we are 18:13 sure we didn't do it, Allah will help 18:15 us later. For example, if we take the 18:18 story of Mother Aisha, may Allah be 18:21 pleased with her, in the event of the 18:23 Slander (Hadith al-Ifk), many people 18:25 accused her even though there was no 18:28 evidence, just because they saw her 18:30 with Safwan, without knowing the truth, 18:33 yet people still accused her. Well, 18:36 Allah Himself provided the answer. 18:39 Allah defended her. Now, of course, 18:40 there is no more revelation today. So, 18:44 when we are slandered, we trust that in 18:46 time, Allah will clarify everything. So 18:50 , in the process, Allah will help us. 18:51 Allah will surely help us. And we, as 18:55 the followers of Muhammad, may peace be 18:57 upon him, should not believe in 18:59 slanders before seeking clarification 19:01 and verification. It is very dangerous 19:05 if we listen to news without verifying 19:08 it. Without clarification, believing it 19:10 means we get the sin, especially if 19:12 it's wrong. Now, we need to understand 19:16 together that insults are not the same 19:19 as criticism. Perhaps someone is 19:22 criticizing us, not actually insulting 19:25 us, just criticizing. We need to 19:27 understand that there is a difference 19:30 between criticizing and insulting. This 19:33 is important because what we receive 19:35 might be criticism, but we don't 19:37 realize it. We label it an insult. Not 19:39 necessarily. So, not every remark that 19:43 makes us uncomfortable means the person 19:45 wants to mistreat us. Not necessarily. 19:49 It could be advice. It could be 19:52 criticism. It might just be our ego 19:54 feeling hurt because we don't want to 19:56 be corrected. So understand the 19:58 difference between constructive 20:00 criticism and an insult. Insulting, 20:03 after all, means belittling. But 20:06 criticism is meant to inform. So the 20:09 difference is that criticism corrects 20:12 an action. 20:15 >> It corrects the action. It is not about 20:17 our personal character. Indeed, 20:20 criticism addresses a mistake, whereas 20:23 an insult attacks the person. Learn to 20:26 distinguish those two. We have to know 20:29 that this person isn't insulting us; 20:31 they are criticizing us because they 20:32 care. For instance, if someone tells us 20:36 , "Well, in my opinion, delivering it 20:38 like this is not quite right.""People 20:41 might misunderstand.""So it's better 20:43 not to bring up this topic yet, 20:44 otherwise people might get the wrong 20:46 idea." That is not an insult, that is 20:48 criticism. Well, an insult is when you 20:51 say, it's true, you really are like 20:54 that, the person themselves is what is 20:57 being discussed. Now, criticism aims to 21:00 improve. While an insult has the goal 21:03 of belittling. So, we really must 21:06 distinguish between criticism and an 21:09 insult. Criticism clearly points out 21:13 the problem, while an insult is just a 21:15 label. You are just a "so-and-so." 21:18 Using the word "so-and-so."" 21:20 >> So-and-so" what, Ma'am? You are just 21:22 someone who doesn't think. See, here it 21:24 isn't the mistake being discussed, but 21:26 the person. So, criticism still 21:29 maintains one's dignity. Therefore, 21:31 distinguish it from an insult. Once 21:34 again, when we are hurt or offended, do 21:38 not let it cause us to lose sleep or 21:42 lose our appetite. Just ignore it. 21:47 Leave it to Allah; let it go, don't 21:50 take it to heart. Because the person 21:55 who said it will be held accountable 21:58 before Allah. Because every word spoken 22:01 is recorded. Every utterance made will 22:06 be noted by the angels Raqib and Atid. 22:09 There will be a reckoning. So if they 22:11 accuse us, disparage us, insult us, or 22:13 hurt our feelings, it is their 22:15 responsibility before Allah. And we, 22:18 the ones who were hurt or insulted, 22:20 perhaps we should leave it to Allah. 22:22 MashaAllah. If they have wronged us, 22:24 they will be held accountable on the 22:27 Day of Judgment. Right? By then, 22:29 apologies won't work anymore; the 22:30 reckoning will be absolute. Their good 22:31 deeds will be given to us. But what if 22:35 what they said was true, and it really 22:37 hurt us? This is where we learn not to 22:42 make human judgment our self-identity. 22:45 We start learning, meaning we learn 22:47 from people's words, "Oh, it means I 22:49 need to change myself.""The way you 22:52 speak is hurtful," for example. We 22:56 might feel hurt and offended, right? " 22:59 Why would you say that?" We just need 23:00 to introspect. Oh, perhaps I was indeed 23:02 offensive. "Oh, I'm sorry if I was 23:04 offensive," and it's done. So once 23:07 again, the most noble among us is not 23:09 the one being criticized or the one 23:12 criticizing. The most noble in the 23:14 sight of Allah is the most pious person 23:16 . That is why deeds are judged by their 23:18 intentions. 23:19 >> When we are hurt, do not turn into 23:21 someone who hurts others in return. 23:23 Don't be the same, or else you'll just 23:25 end up fighting. We don't want our 23:28 rewards to be wiped out, do we? This is 23:31 actually the trap and temptation of the 23:33 devil. When someone hurts us, we 23:36 retaliate. When someone gossips about 23:39 us, we gossip about them back, right? 23:42 >> Like this, for example. Someone conveys 23:44 to us what person A said. 23:47 >> Yeah. It’s gossiping, right? That’s 23:50 called namimah, isn't it? So, they are 23:52 relaying what someone else said to 23:55 badmouth us. That is called namimah. 23:57 That person is committing namimah. 23:58 >> Hm. 23:59 >> That is not allowed in Islam. For 24:01 example, we are close to person A, and 24:03 person A says, "Ma'am, earlier I met 24:05 person B, and they were talking trash 24:07 about you. It hurts my feelings because 24:09 you are my friend, my bestie, why would 24:11 they badmouth you, saying this and that 24:13 about you." Now, that makes us hurt, 24:15 right? The focus should actually be on 24:18 the person relaying this, "Sis, don't 24:20 thank them. You shouldn't have relayed 24:24 what others said to badmouth me. Now my 24:27 relationship with them will turn sour," 24:29 like that. Yeah. 24:29 >> This is just like Imam Syafi'i. When 24:32 one of his students brought information 24:35 about someone badmouthing Imam Syafi'i. 24:38 The student became angry, annoyed, and 24:41 hurt. They said, "Oh Shaykh, there is 24:44 someone badmouthing you." Imam Syafi'i 24:46 replied. "You shouldn't have told me 24:49 about people who badmouth me. Because 24:51 if I meet them later, my heart will 24:52 change towards them. This will cause a 24:55 bad relationship." Now, this is what is 24:57 called namimah. Sowing discord. Try 24:59 this: if we hear people badmouthing 25:01 others, just stay silent, no need to 25:03 pass it on. So, when people gossip, we 25:05 gossip back. Is that really how it 25:07 should be? What’s the difference 25:08 between us and them? Right? 25:09 >> We don't want to be the same, do we? 25:13 When someone exposes our faults, we 25:14 shouldn't expose theirs in return. We 25:16 stop, that's it, don't relay it. That 25:18 means we are saving our hearts, saving 25:22 our deeds. Because we don't know who is 25:26 noble in the sight of Allah. And if we 25:29 act the same, we eventually become like 25:32 the person we once complained about. We 25:35 are just the same as them. What’s the 25:36 difference? Right. 25:38 >> So the principle is, don't let others 25:41 drag us into sin. Let them do whatever 25:46 they accuse us of, but we shouldn't 25:48 follow suit. Now, if we are wounded 25:53 because someone's words are very 25:57 hurtful, how do we handle it? First, 26:02 reflect for a moment, pause, actually 26:05 take a moment to stop. Don't respond 26:09 immediately; don't reply right away 26:11 when you receive a message. People love 26:14 to send things on WhatsApp, right? 26:16 >> Don't jump when on the phone, don't 26:18 just react while heated. Be silent 26:21 first. Calm your emotions. If the 26:23 Prophet was standing, he would sit, or 26:26 perform ablution. We shouldn't take any 26:29 action yet. Calm yourself down. Then, * 26:32 fasabbih bihamdi rabbika wakum 26:34 minasajidin*. That verse from before. 26:37 When our chest feels tight, we 26:39 immediately praise Allah. Subhanallah 26:41 walhamdulillah. We immediately remember 26:43 Allah. Then we perform ablution and 26:45 pray. "Wakum minajidin" means returning 26:49 it all to Allah. Not every problem must 26:52 be solved by talking a lot. Yes, some 26:55 can be solved by turning to Allah. 26:58 Because it is Allah who will give peace 27:00 to our hearts. Now, we can reflect on 27:03 whether the words even need a response. 27:08 Now, let's reflect once more. 27:10 Especially if they are accusations, 27:12 remarks, or perhaps even slander. Let's 27:14 reflect on it first. Is it true? Does 27:17 it need a response? Is now the right 27:20 time to answer it? Well, if the answer 27:23 is no, then silence can be an act of 27:25 worship for us. Yes, that’s why "man 27:28 kana yu'minu billahi wal yaumil akhir 27:30 falyakul khairan au liyashmut." Whoever 27:33 believes in Allah and the Last Day, let 27:35 them speak good or remain silent. If 27:38 speaking just makes things worse, it is 27:39 better to remain silent. But silence 27:42 does not mean condoning injustice. Yes, 27:44 once again, our silence when people 27:47 hurt us does not mean allowing 27:50 injustice. This must also be 27:52 distinguished. Patience does not mean 27:55 letting people constantly hurt us. Once 27:59 again, patience does not mean letting 28:02 people constantly hurt us. Just because 28:05 we are patient doesn't mean we just let 28:06 it happen. That is not how it works. If 28:09 the words have become constant insults, 28:13 slander, or perhaps bullying, threats, 28:17 manipulation, or verbal abuse, or 28:20 anything unhealthy, then we need to set 28:24 healthy boundaries. Meaning, seek help, 28:28 take steps to protect yourself. We can 28:33 say calmly, "I am willing to discuss, 28:36 but I will not accept insults." I must 28:40 find a solution. There must be a 28:42 problem that gets resolved. It cannot 28:45 be done by just letting it go. Well, 28:47 look at the level of the harm first. 28:49 >> Yes. So, once again, maintaining honor 28:54 and preventing harm are part of our 28:57 obligations. If being continuously 29:01 slandered has an impact, then it truly 29:03 needs a resolution. But if it is a 29:06 family matter, for example, a parent's 29:09 character, or perhaps the past being 29:12 brought up. Just let it be, what else 29:14 can you do? Who else are you going to 29:15 look for? If they are already old, just 29:18 endure it. Just hope this is a door to 29:21 heaven, that's all. Or for example, 29:24 between siblings, or between friends 29:27 and relatives, if it’s just trivial 29:31 matters, don't be busy proving yourself 29:34 to everyone. There are people whose 29:37 lives are wasted because they want to 29:39 explain themselves to everyone. When 29:41 accused, they are busy explaining. When 29:43 misunderstood, they explain again. When 29:46 gossiped about, they explain again. Oh 29:48 God, life ends up just revolving around 29:50 that. Even though we have even heavier 29:53 tasks to attend to. Because we know, 29:56 living in this world, we never know 29:58 what our provisions will be like, do we 30:00 ? If Allah calls us at any moment, are 30:03 we ready? What's more, the Angel of 30:07 Death checks on us 70 times a day. Are 30:10 you ready yet? Probably not. If we were 30:12 , we’d be taken immediately. And 30:14 dying isn't always about being sick or 30:16 old; it's simply when our time has come 30:19 . Yesterday, two days ago, I went to 30:23 pay my respects to two friends who 30:25 passed away. 30:26 >> Yes. 30:27 >> Two people in a single day. All 30:29 that’s left for us is to be prepared. 30:31 That’s why we shouldn't let 30:33 people’s words make our lives lose 30:35 their meaning. We end up overthinking 30:39 everything. I've been there, it really 30:41 hurts. The person who said those 30:44 hurtful words might have already 30:46 forgotten what they even said. 30:49 Especially if they have dementia; if 30:50 they're old and don't remember, why 30:52 should we exhaust ourselves thinking 30:53 about it? It’s our own loss. 30:56 Constantly dwelling on hurtful words, 30:58 when the person who said them doesn't 31:00 even remember. Once again, we don't 31:04 need to internalize things that cause 31:07 our hearts pain. It’s amazing how the 31:12 Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was instructed 31:16 by Allah on how to respond when hearing 31:20 hurtful things from others. Allah knows 31:24 when our hearts feel constricted. So, 31:25 seek expansion. Glorify and praise your 31:28 Lord, and be among those who prostrate. 31:31 Our strength comes only from Allah. We 31:34 lean on the All-Powerful so that we 31:37 become strong, and Allah will grant us 31:40 strength, justice, and defense. 31:43 That’s how it is. Allah knows when 31:46 our hearts are wounded, and He will 31:48 provide a way out, God willing. 31:51 >> Masyaallah. So, brothers and sisters, 31:55 what should we do when words are spoken 31:57 by a tongue without bones—where the 31:59 lips say one thing and the heart 32:01 another—there’s even a song about 32:03 it, right, Ustadzah? 32:05 >> Masyaallah. 32:06 >> Can we move on to the questions? 32:08 >> Yes. Please do. 32:11 >> What if those hurtful words just won't 32:14 leave our minds? It just keeps hurting. 32:18 To overcome this, what should we be 32:20 thinking? I've tried dhikr and 32:24 surrendering to Allah, but I still feel 32:28 so hurt because they are someone I love 32:32 . Oh, so it’s a partner, isn't it, 32:35 Mbak Indah? What do you think, Ustadzah 32:37 ? 32:37 >> Yes. So, it’s true that those who 32:40 hurt us most are often our closest ones 32:43 . 32:44 >> Those whose attention, affection, and 32:47 gentle treatment we crave. Yet, 32:50 sometimes they say words that don't 32:52 meet our expectations, and we end up 32:54 offended. Let's return to the point 32:59 that not all words deserve to be kept 33:04 in our hearts. Do not let their words 33:07 sadden you. Do not be saddened by what 33:10 they say. Why should we be sad? They 33:12 might even have forgotten what they 33:13 said. Yes. Now, how do we forget? 33:18 Perhaps the harder part is forgiving, 33:21 which first requires patience. Be 33:25 patient, no matter what, they are our 33:27 closest ones, the people we love. So, 33:30 that's patience. And when it reaches a 33:34 higher level, that's forgiveness, and 33:36 of course, that takes time. So we 33:39 return it to Allah. Forgiving is indeed 33:42 heavy. So we ask Allah, "O Allah, 33:44 cleanse my heart, broaden my soul, O 33:47 Allah, so that I may have the nature or 33:49 the feeling to forgive." So, don't pay 33:51 attention to it; the person has 33:52 forgotten too. 33:54 >> So, forgiveness is one of three deeds, 33:56 dear, whose rewards are extraordinarily 33:58 great without measure. Wow, that is an 34:00 extraordinary reward. Three deeds. 34:02 First, fasting. Yes. 34:04 >> Fasting is great, isn't it? Fasting is 34:08 for Me, and I Myself will reward it. 34:11 Giving the reward of virtue. That means 34:13 it will be a surprise later because 34:15 Allah will give the reward directly. 34:17 The second is patience. Those who are 34:23 patient will be rewarded by Allah 34:25 without measure. It's truly immense. 34:28 Now, above that is forgiveness. 34:31 Forgiveness is extraordinary. So, a 34:33 person who forgives has certainly 34:35 already been patient. But a person who 34:38 is patient isn't necessarily able to 34:40 forgive. 34:42 >> So when we receive hurtful words, don't 34:45 keep dwelling on them. When you 34:48 remember, the devil likes to keep 34:49 reminding us, right? The devil is 34:50 indeed very clever. He can't stand 34:52 seeing us at peace. Just when we're at 34:54 peace, he reminds us of things from a 34:56 long time ago. So, when you remember, 34:58 just say istighfar immediately. 34:59 Astagfirullahalazim. It was mentioned 35:01 earlier, "fasabbih bihamdirabbika." 35:03 >> Yes. Glorify Him by praising Allah. 35:07 Then "wakun minas-sajidin," right? Be 35:10 among those who prostrate, meaning pray 35:12 . So when your heart is really hurt, 35:14 just take it to prayer. Because prayer 35:18 is a form of a servant confiding in 35:21 Allah. Yes. Let's look at an example. 35:26 The Prophet's sadness during the "Amul 35:29 Huzun," right? 35:31 >> The year of sorrow, when his wife 35:33 passed away. Mother Khadijah, may Allah 35:35 be pleased with her. 35:36 >> 25 years of marriage. My God, it was so 35:39 sad, in such a difficult condition. He 35:42 spent all his wealth to help, and then 35:44 Allah called her back, it was truly 35:46 heartbreaking. And at that very time, 35:48 the command of Isra and Mi'raj came, 35:49 the obligation of prayer was ordained. 35:52 That is why the Prophet loved prayer so 35:53 much, "Arihna biha ya Bilal"(Give us 35:55 comfort with it, O Bilal). So, prayer 35:57 is actually not just fulfilling our 35:59 duty to Allah five times a day. No. 36:03 There are prayers we perform, in Fiqh 36:05 they are called absolute sunnah prayers 36:08 , which we do when our hearts are 36:10 troubled or when our hearts are 36:12 overflowing with joy. That is why it is 36:16 sunnah for those who want to get 36:17 married, or who have already married, 36:19 before intimate relations, to pray 36:21 first as a form of gratitude to Allah. 36:23 Now, it is the same when we are 36:24 grieving. So, when we remember words 36:27 from those closest to us that were very 36:29 painful, just take it to prayer. Ask 36:32 Allah to comfort us and to help us stop 36:34 dwelling on those words. Yes, that is 36:37 how it is, Miss. 36:38 >> Yes. Easy but difficult, or difficult 36:41 but easy, right? But very well. Here is 36:43 the next question. Peace be upon you, 36:46 Ustazah. 36:47 >> And peace be upon you. 36:49 >> Why is it easier for people to say 36:50 harsh words when they are emotional? 36:54 And why do we sometimes remember one 36:57 bad word spoken to us more than the 36:59 good ones? Thank you, Ustazah. Yes. Yes 37:04 . So, the reason why it is very easy 37:08 for us to say harsh words when we are 37:11 emotional 37:14 >> is indeed because when we are emotional 37:16 , we are being ridden by Satan. 37:19 >> Satan again, Satan again. Yes. Okay. 37:21 >> Yes. Yes. So that is why we are 37:24 reminded by Allah, "wa qulu lin-nasi 37:27 husna". 37:29 >> Speak to people with good words. So, 37:33 when emotional, when angry, anything 37:35 can come out, right? So when you are 37:38 emotional like that 37:40 >> anything can come out, that is what 37:41 being emotional is. Now, the Prophet 37:44 once advised a companion. Because the 37:47 Prophet, when giving advice, would suit 37:49 it to the person's condition. The 37:50 person was a bit temperamental, Miss. 37:52 This person was quite emotional. When 37:54 he asked the Prophet for advice, the 37:56 Prophet gave this advice. "La taghdab 37:58 wa lakal jannah." Do not get angry, do 38:01 not be emotional, and paradise is yours 38:03 . So, of course, people who are 38:07 emotional are so because their reason 38:09 is uncontrolled or controlled by their 38:12 emotions. So, anything comes out until 38:15 it hurts someone. That is why the 38:18 Prophet reminded us, "La taghdab, do 38:20 not get angry, for you is paradise." In 38:22 fact, we are taught what to do when 38:25 emotions arise. If you are standing, 38:28 sit down first. If you are already 38:31 sitting and still angry, try taking 38:33 ablution (wudu). Eh, still angry? Anger 38:36 comes from Satan, from fire, right? Ah, 38:38 then you are told to pray first. If not 38:40 , just go to sleep, take it to sleep. 38:42 When you wake up, it usually has 38:43 already started to subside. Now, 38:46 furthermore, why do people more easily 38:49 remember unkind words? Yes, that goes 38:53 back again to our ability to control 38:55 ourselves. Because Satan, Miss, once 38:58 again, is our enemy, you see. That is 39:00 why Allah reminds us, "innahu lakum ' 39:02 aduwwun fa-hadzdzaruhu." That Satan is 39:05 an enemy to you. Be careful. So when we 39:07 are quiet, we are reminded. That is his 39:10 job, so that we do not remember Allah. 39:11 You are reminded, "What did that person 39:13 say earlier?" Kept being reminded. Oh 39:16 Allah. So this is for all of us to 39:17 remind each other, okay. If you 39:19 remember unkind words, turn them around 39:22 . Remember their kindness. Don't just 39:24 remember the bad things. There must be 39:26 some good. Is that right, Miss? 39:28 >> Yes. Hopefully, you stay patient 39:31 because if not, there is another option 39:34 . No wonder in Islam divorce is allowed 39:36 if you're not strong enough. 39:41 >> Actually, you see, divorce is an option 39:43 and it's not a disgrace. Divorce is not 39:45 a disgrace. 39:47 >> Yes, meaning it is allowed, and divorce 39:49 is the final door when there is no 39:51 longer a better way out. That's it, 39:54 right? 39:54 >> It’s the final resort, it can't be 39:56 forced. 39:57 >> Yeah. That is why it is true that Allah 39:59 does not like divorce. If that divorce 40:01 has no Sharia reason. But if the reason 40:05 is indeed cruelty and we can't take it, 40:06 then it is the best way out. Even if we 40:09 look back, Miss, divorce happened 40:11 during the Prophet's time and it was 40:12 normal. 40:13 >> Yeah. But there were reasons for it. 40:15 For instance, when Zaid bin, what was 40:18 it? Zaid bin Harithah married Zainab 40:22 binti Jahsh; it was because the law at 40:25 that time forbade marrying the ex-wife 40:28 of an adopted son, which was considered 40:31 wrong. Now, the Prophet and Islam 40:34 wanted to clarify that an adopted child 40:36 is not a biological child. So, it is 40:37 allowed to marry their former wife. And 40:39 Allah Himself ordained the marriage. It 40:40 was normal to see each other every day, 40:42 for example, Zaid and his ex-wife, it 40:44 was fine. It's just us who are being a 40:46 bit dramatic. For example, Miss. 40:49 >> There was a divorce, for instance, 40:52 between Asma binti Abu Bakar and, this 40:55 was later on, when they were old, with 40:59 Zubair bin Awwam. Even though we know 41:02 that Asma binti Abu Bakar was 41:03 extraordinary in the past. Her husband 41:06 Zubair was poor back then. Even though 41:08 Zubair was among those promised the 41:10 glad tidings of entering Paradise. 41:12 >> That was in the early days. Look at how 41:15 Asma helped him, took care of his horse 41:18 , until finally, when they were old, 41:20 she was divorced by Zubair. Oh, back 41:24 then, well, that's just the past, 41:26 that's our life. Our lives aren't the 41:28 past, right? It means it's already 41:30 destiny, what else can you do. So if a 41:34 marriage can no longer be maintained 41:37 because there is perhaps cruelty or 41:40 injustice from one of the sides, then 41:43 that is the best solution. So there is 41:46 no need to force it. What if you're not 41:48 sincere? Or for example, the first 41:51 khula incident in Islamic history 41:54 occurred when the wife of Qais came to 41:57 the Prophet. "O Messenger of Allah, I 42:00 do not criticize my husband's religion, 42:02 but how do I put this, whenever I see 42:04 him, I just don't feel sincere." 42:06 Meaning, her husband was unattractive, 42:08 and walking with him just didn't feel 42:10 right. Then the Prophet said, "Are you 42:12 willing to return the dowry?""Yes, I am 42:13 , Messenger of Allah." The dowry was a 42:15 garden, right? Yes. Yes. Better than 42:16 living in a marriage without sincerity. 42:18 >> It's pointless, in the sense that our 42:20 worship becomes insincere. 42:23 >> So, once again, we don't have to force 42:27 every marriage to stay together. If 42:31 staying together removes sincerity and 42:35 brings harm, then that is the way out. 42:38 That's why you have to pay attention 42:39 and look at the situation, especially 42:41 the children. So, the consideration for 42:43 divorce is not just based on emotion. 42:47 Like, "We are hurt, so we must get a 42:48 divorce." Not necessarily; look at our 42:50 children's condition and what the 42:51 future holds. Yes, that's why there is 42:54 wisdom in it, ma'am. When a husband 42:55 divorces his wife, it is not allowed 42:57 while she is menstruating. 42:59 >> So, when you are emotional and want to 43:01 divorce your wife, ask first, "Are you 43:02 menstruating?" Now, if she says yes, 43:04 wait, don't declare it yet. Wait until 43:06 she is pure. The wisdom behind this is 43:10 so that divorce isn't driven by emotion 43:12 alone, but by other Sharia-compliant 43:14 reasons. 43:17 >> Okay, this is from, um, Assalamualaikum 43:19 , Ustazah. I am Anggun from Bekasi. Can 43:25 the sin of hurting someone's feelings 43:27 with words be erased only by repenting 43:29 to Allah, or must we obtain forgiveness 43:32 from the person hurt? Thank you. Yes. 43:36 >> Yes. This means the person is the one 43:38 who did the hurting. Earlier we 43:40 discussed what happens when we are the 43:42 ones hurt. Our previous discussion was 43:45 about when we are hurt. Now, the 43:47 opposite is true: if we are the ones 43:48 who hurt others, it's not enough to 43:50 just repent and ask Allah for 43:51 forgiveness. It is not enough. We have 43:54 oppressed someone, we have hurt someone 43:57 . Because there are two types of sins. 43:59 Sins against Allah and sins against 44:01 fellow human beings. Yeah. 44:04 >> Sins against Allah, no matter how great 44:06 , God willing, Allah is Ghafurur Rahim. 44:09 Surely, Allah is All-Forgiving, Most 44:10 Merciful. But sins against people 44:12 cannot be cleared that way. 44:15 >> Sins against people are not forgiven by 44:17 Allah until the person we hurt forgives 44:19 us. So, if it involves others, when we 44:24 hurt or oppress them, we must ask for 44:27 forgiveness. What if they still feel 44:31 oppressed? If they feel oppressed, then 44:34 on the Day of Judgment, in the Plain of 44:36 Gathering, that is the day of reckoning 44:38 . We might still be held accountable, 44:41 and we can't just escape it, ma'am. In 44:44 the end, our deeds will be taken to pay 44:47 for it. So, while we are still alive, 44:50 we must ask for forgiveness from those 44:52 we have hurt. Especially within a 44:54 family, for example, between children 44:56 and parents, words from children that 44:58 might hurt their parents. While parents 45:01 are still alive, apologize immediately, 45:03 or between husband and wife, siblings, 45:05 friends, relatives, or neighbors. 45:09 >> Yes. 45:09 >> That's how it is, ma'am. 45:10 >> Alright. Next is from Dania in Depok, 45:15 who wants to ask, Ustazah. What is the 45:21 Islamic legal view on someone who 45:23 frequently hurts the hearts of fellow 45:25 Muslims through their speech? Yes. Yes. 45:31 People who often hurt others' feelings. 45:35 Oh my, there is a story from the time 45:36 of the Prophet. There was a woman. 45:39 >> It was reported to the Messenger, "O 45:40 Messenger of Allah, she is a woman who 45:42 is diligent in prayer." She was someone 45:46 diligent in worship, fasting, giving 45:47 charity, and reading the Quran. 45:49 Basically, her worship was amazing. 45:52 Lakin naha tu’zi jaraha. Tu’zi 45:55 jaraha. "But when she spoke, it was 45:57 cutting. So, she would speak to her 45:59 neighbors in a way that hurt them, oh 46:01 my. Then the Prophet said," If that is 46:04 the case, then she is in the Hellfire. 46:06 "This means that between our individual 46:11 piety and our social piety, social 46:15 piety is weighted more heavily. So if 46:20 we are obedient in worship and diligent 46:23 , but hurt others, that is not a 46:25 guarantee of entering heaven. That is 46:29 why Islam is a social religion; it 46:34 emphasizes social worship, so to speak. 46:40 It means if our worship to Allah is 46:42 good, but to humans it is not, there is 46:44 no guarantee. In fact, the proof of our 46:49 worship to Allah is evidenced by our 46:51 character toward humans. That is why 46:55 the Prophet was sent," innama... "The 46:59 Prophet was sent to perfect the 47:01 character of mankind. So, social piety 47:06 is the proof of individual piety. So if 47:11 we are truly obedient to Allah and His 47:13 Messenger in our worship, it is proven 47:16 by our daily behavior. So, masyaallah, 47:18 be careful with your tongue. That is 47:20 why the Prophet reminded us that there 47:22 are two openings that cause many of my 47:24 followers to slip into Hell. Because of 47:27 these two openings: the mouth and the 47:29 private parts. I mean, for adultery, 47:31 maybe not. For women, hopefully not, 47:34 insyaallah. But this tongue of ours. 47:36 >> Hmm. 47:37 >> So it is heavy; the tongue, if we 47:39 discuss the" afat lisan "(dangers of 47:42 the tongue), the impact of a 47:44 thoughtless tongue is extraordinary. 47:47 Masyaallah, it is truly immense. That 47:48 was the verse," Ma yalfidu min qawlin 47:50 illa ladayhi raqibun ‘atid. "Every 47:52 sentence and word we utter is recorded 47:56 by the angels Raqib and Atid. Therefore 47:59 , be very careful in letting words out 48:01 through your tongue. They say the 48:04 tongue has no bone, right? Different on 48:06 the lips, different in the heart. This 48:10 is from Bung Dam Reva, right?" 48:13 Assalamualaikum, Ustazah. "" 48:17 >> From Bogor, I want to ask, how do we 48:20 deal with people who hurt us? "" Must 48:22 we be patient forever? "" Is there a 48:24 limit, Ustazah? " 48:28 >> The limit, masyaallah. The limit 48:32 regarding those who hurt us. 48:35 >> Heh. 48:36 >> Yes. Now, let's look at this: what is 48:39 it that we feel hurt about? Our person 48:43 or our actions? Yes. So, the limit for 48:47 people who hurt us, should we be the 48:49 same or retaliate? Well, let us 48:52 remember Surah Fussilat verse 34. 48:55 >> That is," Wadfa... ""...bil-lati hiya 49:00 ahsan. "Good and evil are not equal. 49:05 Repel evil with something better. So 49:09 don't be the same. If people insult us, 49:12 don't insult them back, no need for 49:13 that. If they act badly, we shouldn't 49:15 retaliate. I mean, if it concerns 49:18 ourselves, the Prophet was hurt 49:21 incredibly deeply. But he did not 49:23 retaliate. But if it is the religion 49:25 that is hurt, the belief that is 49:27 insulted, then the Prophet would 49:28 respond. So, for personal matters, the 49:31 Prophet did not retaliate. Now, what 49:32 was the boundary? The boundary is what 49:35 I mentioned, if it's just about us 49:37 personally, let it be. But if it 49:40 relates to our faith, our religion, our 49:43 beliefs, we cannot just be patient. We 49:47 shouldn't just say, let it go even if 49:49 we are hurt. No. We must defend our 49:53 beliefs. So, forgiveness is related to 49:57 our individual affairs. Especially if 50:02 we recall, in Surah Ali Imran verse 134 50:06 . Wal-kaziminal-ghayz. 50:13 >> Those who restrain their anger and 50:15 forgive people's mistakes. It 50:20 emphasizes that for those who hurt us, 50:23 who wound us, we should forgive them. 50:28 Yes. 50:29 >> For people who hurt us, we shouldn't 50:32 hurt them back. We leave it to Allah. 50:36 Because a tongue that hurts the heart 50:39 will be held accountable before Allah. 50:41 So if asked, is there a limit? Perhaps 50:45 the question is, is there a limit to 50:47 patience? If it is related to patience, 50:49 yes. 50:50 >> The limit of patience is until ' 50:52 innalillah', until death. 50:54 >> Yes. Like that. Hopefully, we can be 50:56 patient if it's only about our personal 50:58 affairs. But for religious matters, we 51:01 cannot be patient. We must defend our 51:03 religion and our beliefs. 51:05 >> Okay. So once again, those five letters 51:08 must be held tight. Patience. All right 51:12 . Hmm, some still want to know what to 51:16 do if someone says things that hurt our 51:20 feelings. And also when there are 51:23 accusations. What if we just stay 51:25 silent? It seems very difficult. How do 51:29 we recite the verses? What if we are 51:32 cornered, insulted, or accused by 51:34 others? What verse should we recite, 51:36 Ustazah? Okay. So it's like this, if 51:42 you are accused of something untrue, if 51:45 it's slander, we immediately ask for 51:48 strength from Allah. Or you can recite 51:52 'Hasbiallahu la ilaha illa huwa alaihi 51:56 tawakaltu', or 'Hasbunallah wanikmal 51:59 wakil nikmal maula wanikman nasir'. Or 52:03 we return all those accusations to 52:07 Allah with patience. If it relates to 52:12 ...but if it is slander, especially 52:15 things that we did not do, and we have 52:18 proof, we don't need to defend 52:21 ourselves. Just show the evidence that 52:25 exists, like that. Yes. 52:27 >> And of course, the healing process 52:31 takes time. Let alone a broken heart, 52:34 even with physical illness, you can't 52:35 just get well instantly by taking 52:36 medicine, right? 52:38 >> When we have the flu or a cold, the 52:39 doctor gives us antibiotics for 5 days, 52:41 and even then, it's not certain. Let 52:43 alone something like a broken heart. So 52:44 , it truly requires patience. Believe 52:47 me. God willing, there are many cases 52:48 that happen, Ma'am. The person who was 52:51 hurt, after some time passes—because 52:53 time is a form of healing—it 52:55 eventually turns back on the person who 52:57 caused it. 53:00 >> Just observe, it always happens that 53:02 when we are patient after being hurt, 53:04 at some point, God will defend us. That 53:07 happens very often, Ma'am, so be 53:08 careful. That is why people who like to 53:11 hurt others, people who like to slander 53:13 others, people who like to cause pain, 53:14 people who like to oppress others—one 53:16 day, all that evil will return to them. 53:19 That has been proven many times, even 53:21 though it might take years. That is why 53:24 we have God; we are with God, and God 53:27 willing, He will defend us. That is why 53:30 , Ma'am, prayer is important; when we 53:32 go to sleep, the prayer is long, Ma'am. 53:35 >> Yes. 53:37 >> The prayer before sleeping, besides" 53:39 Bismika Allahumma ahya wa amut, "that 53:41 is very concise. That is the prayer 53:45 taught to kindergarten children, right? 53:47 " Bismika Allahumma amutu wa ahya, " 53:49 like that. 53:51 >> But there is actually a longer one. The 53:53 long one, for example:" Allahumma 53:54 aslamtu nafsi ilaika... ""...wajjahtu 53:57 wajhiya ilaika... ""...wa fawwadhtu 54:00 amri ilaika... ""...walaja'tu zhahri 54:06 ilaika... ""...bikitabikalladzi anzalta 54:12 wa nabiyyikalladzi arsalta. "It has an 54:15 extraordinary meaning. O God, I 54:17 surrender my soul to You. I turn my 54:20 face to You. I entrust my affairs to 54:24 You. I lean my back upon You, O God. 54:27 That is a form of us asking for backup 54:29 from God, right? I am filled with hope 54:32 and fear of You. There is no refuge and 54:34 no safety from You except to You, O God 54:37 . I believe in Your Book that You sent 54:40 down and I believe in Your Prophet that 54:42 You sent. It is a long prayer. Why? 54:44 Because we have many burdens. Surrender 54:47 them back to God. Hopefully, they won't 54:49 be carried into sleep, into dreams, and 54:51 finally, keep us from eating or 54:52 sleeping. God willing, hopefully, we 54:54 have strong backup. We lean on the 54:57 Almighty, so we become strong, God 55:00 willing. 55:01 >> And for the closing idea, since we are 55:04 at the end, please go ahead. 55:07 >> Yes. God knows when our hearts are 55:10 broken. Yes, not all human words should 55:13 be taken to heart. Because God knows 55:17 what is hidden and what is seen. God 55:19 knows His servants. God will surely 55:23 provide a way out, a way out that makes 55:26 us feel at peace. Yes, human words can 55:29 indeed be painful, but we have God who 55:32 strengthens us. Yes, do not let those 55:35 painful human words cause us to drift 55:38 away from God. When we are slandered, 55:42 when we are insulted, when we are hurt, 55:44 hopefully, God will provide the best 55:47 way out. We surrender everything to God 55:51 . Innamal usri yusro (Indeed, with 55:52 hardship [will be] ease). Every 55:53 difficulty surely has a way out, God 55:56 willing. I seek forgiveness from God 55:59 for me and for you. Peace be upon you, 56:01 and God's mercy and blessings. 56:03 >> And peace be upon you, and God's mercy 56:05 and blessings. Ustazah Herlini Amran, 56:09 thank you so much, because when words 56:12 hurt the heart, how great our loss is. 56:15 Alright, hopefully we will become 56:18 better at guarding our extraordinary 56:22 tongues. Because it has no bones, it 56:24 keeps moving. Yes, once again 56:27 >> thank you very much. May God grant 56:28 success and guidance. And peace be upon 56:30 you, and God's mercy and blessings. 
