Antrian playlist

Ustaz Husein Alattas dan Ustaz Abu Bakar Baradja || Seorang Istri yang Ditinggal Suami Karena Covid

Ustaz Husein Alattas dan Ustaz Abu Bakar Baradja || Efek Suami yang Kurang Baik dalam Rumah Tangga

Seorang Wanita yang Ragu untuk Menikah

Ustaz Husein Alattas dan Ustaz Abu Bakar Baradja || Saling Menghargai Dalam Rumah Tangga

Berpisah untuk kembali, Bolehkah? || Ustaz Husein Alattas dan Ustaz Abu Bakar Baradja

Anak dan Istri Beban ataukah Tanggung Jawab Suami?

Ustaz Husein Alattas dan Ustaz Abu Bakar Baradja || Seorang Suami Yang Tempramental

Ustaz Husein Alattas dan Ustaz Abu Bakar Baradja || Perlunya Keteladanan Orang Tua Terhadap Anak

Ustaz Husein Alattas dan Ustaz Abu Bakar Baradja || Aturan Dalam Pernikahan dan Perceraian

Ustaz Husein Alattas dan Ustaz Abu Bakar Baradja || Terjebak Antara Istri dan Ibu Mertua

Ustaz Husein Alattas dan Ustaz Abu Bakar Baradja || Seorang Istri yang Sudah Lama Di Tinggal Suami?

Ustaz Husein Alattas dan Ustaz Abu Bakar Baradja || Suami yang Merasa Terabaikan Oleh Istrinya

Ustaz Husein Alattas dan Ustaz Abu Bakar Baradja || Istri yang Curiga Terhadap Suami

Name: Ustaz Husein Alattas dan Ustaz Abu Bakar Baradja || Istri yang Curiga Terhadap Suami
Uploaded: 2019-10-02T01:09:41Z
Description: Psikologi Keluarga Edisi Rabu, 2 Oktober 2019 M 3 Shafar 1441 H

Rasil TVDipublikasikan: 2 Oktober 2019169 views

Psikologi Keluarga Edisi Rabu, 2 Oktober 2019 M 3 Shafar 1441 H Dipandu oleh Krisna Purwana Ikhwan Akhwat Bisa Interaktif Di Sms/Wa 08111999720 a…

Transkrip diambil dari YouTube. Klik timestamp biru untuk melompat ke posisi tersebut di pemutar.

Rasil TV For one Islam.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious
, the Most Merciful. Peace be upon you,
and Allah's mercy and blessings. Praise
be to Allah, we meet again today,
Wednesday, the 3rd of Safar 1441
Hijriah, or October 2nd, 2019. People
say this is National Batik Day. Alright
, as usual, Radio Rasil and Rasil TV
via YouTube are back with the family
psychology program, with Ustaz Husein
Alatas and Ustaz Abu Bakar Baraja. This
time, Ms. Nuning is not joining us
because she is in Batang, Pekalongan,
giving some, well, guidance on public
speaking. The case that has come in is
a case we didn't get to read last week.
Now we will try to read it. Very well.
Praise be to Allah, Ustaz Husein is
already here. Ustaz Abu Bakar as well.
Peace be upon you. Yes, let's start
this program by reciting al-Fatihah,
Ustaz.
I seek refuge in Allah from the
accursed Satan. In the name of Allah,
the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah. Amen. The Most
Gracious, the Most Merciful. Master of
the Day of Judgment. It is You we
worship and You we ask for help. Guide
us to the path. Of those who are
straight, those who...Not of those...
Astray.
Alright, brothers, in this family
psychology program, the case that
arrived last week, I will read it.
Peace be upon you, Ustaz Husein and
Ustaz Abu Bakar Baraja. Ustaz, this is
from a wife, sir. My husband, in his
work, is in seclusion (*khalwat*) with
a woman. From leaving, staying close in
the dorm, to coming home together. As a
wife, I feel objections, unless it is
forbidden by religion. I also often
scold my husband, he gets angry because
it's just about work. Even though my
heart feels there is something wrong
with how they greet each other, I admit
it is far from office people and with
limited finances too. I have been
confiding and surrendering it to Allah
Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, but my feelings
are always torn when I remember how the
solution is. Should I continue to be
patient and surrender totally to Allah
and cover my feelings for the sake of
the children with many prayers? And
what do you think, Ustaz? I want to use
the remainder of my life as well as
possible. That is the first one.
I seek refuge in Allah from the
accursed Satan. In the name of Allah,
the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.
O Allah, send prayers, peace, and
blessings upon Your servant and
Messenger, our master Muhammad, and his
family and companions. Our Lord, grant
us mercy from Yourself and prepare for
us from our affair a right course. Our
Lord, increase us in knowledge and join
us with the righteous. O Allah, guide
us to the paths of peace, bring us out
of darkness, and guide us to the
straight path. To proceed. Brothers and
sisters, listeners, viewers, may you be
blessed by Allah. Ustaz Abu Bakar
Baraja who is accompanying us this
morning. Likewise, Ustaz Muhammad
Krishna Ondi, and all colleagues in the
studio. Likewise, Ustaz Abul Hasan
Asyadri. May the peace of Allah be upon
you all, and His mercy and blessings.
The case we just heard, a case we often
experience, we witness, where men,
whether they are married or unmarried,
and women, whether they are married or
not, are in seclusion (*khalwat*) with
...a man or with a woman who is not
what?
Not their*mahram*or a spouse made
lawful by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala.
This is something that is firmly
forbidden in religion. The Prophet
warned that if a man is in seclusion
with a woman, then the third is Satan.
Satan flows. along with the flow of
your blood. When our desires ignite,
our consciousness will fade. Ultimately
, we easily fall into the devil's trap.
Let us take the example of the story
experienced by the Prophet of Allah,
Yusuf, peace be upon him, who was
tested by Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala
with a woman who was the wife of the
master who took him in, who had given
him honor, freeing him from the slave
market. This woman secluded herself in
the house with Yusuf because her
husband was away. Satan entered this
woman's heart, attempting to tempt
Yusuf, peace be upon him. Yusuf, who
was guided by Allah and whose heart
feared Allah. Upon facing that
temptation, he immediately ran away. He
sought refuge with Allah Subhanahu wa
ta'ala. This woman did not repent even
though she was caught red-handed
committing betrayal. Her husband did
not attempt to separate Yusuf from this
woman. Yes, he should have separated
them. Because this woman, having
attempted it once, would do it again a
second time. Finally, she held an event
with her female friends, with her
social circle, and then invited them to
eat. After giving each of them a piece
of fruit and a knife. She suddenly
ordered Yusuf to come out among them.
As soon as Yusuf appeared, they were
immediately mesmerized, stunned, saying
, "This is not a human. This is a noble
angel." The woman immediately said to
them, "You are mesmerized after seeing
him once, imagine me, who faces him
every day.""As if to show that my faith
is stronger than yours." Ultimately,
where he was once tempted by one woman,
now they were all pressuring Yusuf to
follow their desires. If not, they
would testify that Yusuf had ill
intentions toward them.
What did Yusuf say when facing this
temptation? Robbis sijnu ahabbu ilaiya
mimma yadunani ilaih. O my Lord, prison
is more beloved to me than fulfilling
their request. Because if he were to
follow their will, his soul would be
imprisoned for all time. He would feel
ashamed of himself, of his actions. He
preferred to choose a place that
imprisoned his body, but his soul would
remain free. Wailla tasrif anni
kaidahun. If You do not keep their
deceit away from me, O Allah, asbu
ilaihin. I am afraid that I might
eventually be tempted. Tempted to fall
into their trap. Waal jahilin. And
eventually become one of the ignorant.
This is a prophet praying to Allah to
be kept away from their deceit. And in
Surah An-Nur, how Allah commands us men
to guard our gaze. Women should also
guard their gaze so their eyes are not
fixed on things that truly bring
suffering upon themselves. Everything
is to maintain the purity of their
hearts by maintaining the purity of
their gaze. So, what your husband is
doing, if it is indeed an act that is
truly forbidden and unlawful in
religion. Now, what should your
attitude be, Ma'am? Your attitude
naturally, Ma'am, if you can give
direct advice, that is very good so
that this news, what?
Does not get out. If you are unable to
do so, if you feel helpless, try asking
someone your husband respects, his
parents or a respected figure, someone
knowledgeable, to advise your husband
and remind him to fear Allah Subhanahu
wa Ta'ala. Do not sacrifice your family
and endure long-term suffering for the
sake of a fleeting pleasure. Then, pray
abundantly to Allah. Especially when
you are in prostration, let your tears
flow. Beg Allah to grant guidance to
your husband. To awaken his conscience
so he realizes his wrongful actions. If
you confide in Allah, your suffering
will greatly diminish. Because Allah is
the best place to confide in, He will
keep your secrets and will not put you
to shame. And Allah is all-powerful to
grant your prayers. This is your effort
, while also asking those your husband
looks up to for their advice. Because
when a man is lured by the devil, his
common sense disappears. And when you
speak to him, how will he view you? As
an obstacle, as a hindrance, a barrier,
to him achieving what he desires and
fancies. Therefore, try asking his
parents or a respected scholar or
teacher, and remind him that this is a
sinful act, forbidden by religion. Now,
what if the opposite happens? A man has
a wife who works in an office and is
alone with another man. This is also a
terrible act. We see that the work
environment and atmosphere in our
country do not guarantee the sanctity
of our households. Therefore, we truly
hope that working women are provided
with decent workspaces that protect
their purity and honor, without
sacrificing their roles as wives and
mothers. The same applies to men
working where women are present; why
not separate them so they don't
intermingle or get too close, let alone
share the same room? And subhanallah,
the devil cleverly makes an
unattractive woman seem exciting and
charming when she is alone with a man.
Likewise for a man who is not handsome.
One who is not handsome or attractive
to a beautiful woman. When they are
together, this man can transform into
an Arjuna. Truly. There is a story of a
beautiful woman who married a handsome,
dashing businessman. But the husband
was often away. The woman was often
alone with a man, her male friend. They
often met, were alone together, and
went out. The husband was asked, "
Aren't you jealous?" He said, "He's not
on her level." Not at all. He assumed
the man was not at her level. How could
she want a man whose face was not
attractive at all? Subhanallah. Before
long, the woman cheated with her
husband's friend.
Why? Because the devil, subhanallah,
cleverly adorns what Allah has
forbidden, just as our ancestors
experienced. I know a man who married a
woman. He had a wife beforehand. After
he married this second woman, he didn't
take long to tell me, "Ustadz, I'm
confused why I even married this woman?
" Every moment I wonder, why did I
marry this woman? Compared to my first
wife, this woman is less beautiful, and
he is a handsome man. Yeah. Then this
woman often teased and pressured me. I
felt confused, as if I were in an
illusion.
As if I didn't really marry this woman.
Why? Because we were in the same office
, in the same room. Therefore, jealousy
is instilled by Allah Subhanahu wa
ta'ala to serve as a fence for our
honor and our household. If a person
has no sense of jealousy, especially a
man, and he lets his wife go out with a
man who is not her mahram. He doesn't
mind. This man is categorized as
dayyuth. And a dayyuth is forbidden
from smelling the fragrance of paradise
. It's not just about entering paradise
, he is forbidden from even smelling it
if he has no jealousy for his wife.
Eventually, it plunges his wife into
sinful acts. There was an incident in
Egypt, where a woman was taken to court
for having an affair with her husband's
friend. During the trial, the woman was
asked, "Is it true she committed the
act?" She said, "It is true.""With deep
regret, I don't regret it, but the one
most at fault, the one with the biggest
mistake, is my husband.""I was raised
by my parents to be an honorable woman,
kept, and not involved with many men,
except those whom Allah has made
permissible.""I married my husband, and
my husband gave me total freedom.""
Sometimes even my husband's friends
would come over, and my husband would
go out, leaving me to talk with what?""
With his friends.""For a long time.""
Eventually, the devil entered our
hearts.""I was trapped in sin.""I
regret it.""I regret it.""And I regret
why I married a man like this who
didn't protect my honor.""That's why I
betrayed him, I admit it, but my
husband is not a responsible man."
Therefore, a man who has no jealousy, a
dayyuth, is forbidden from smelling the
fragrance of paradise. So don't say, "
Ah, it's impossible for a man to have
absolutely no concern." Likewise, a
woman must have jealousy, but not be
overly suspicious. If it's healthy
jealousy, it becomes a fence for the
household. But if it's baseless
jealousy, then it's just being
suspicious. Eventually, the husband
gets exhausted over time. He didn't do
anything, there were no indications of
that. The woman kept being suspicious
continuously. But if you are jealous
when seeing something wrong, or the
husband is too close to a woman, speak
up and show your stance that you cannot
accept this. You wouldn't accept it if
I did the same thing, would you? Why
would you do to yourself what you
wouldn't want to happen to your wife?
But with polite and kind language. And
a woman's attention to her husband is
beautiful. Men also like to be envied
as long as they are not suspected. Okay
.
So if a woman shows her affection, her
attention to her husband, and jealousy,
the husband feels happy. For example,
there are two men. One of them, every
time he wants to marry, his wife always
does what? Pays attention to him. So
this man hides, you know, so he can
take turns with his wife. If he gets a
chance to call, he is incredibly happy.
To the point that one time his wife
asked to go abroad, needing not just
thousands of dollars with her family,
she was given 50,000 dollars to go
abroad. As soon as the wife is about to
go, he says, "Don't stay too long
outside." The wife says, "No.""Just 2
weeks." As soon as his wife leaves, he
says, "Yes, I have freedom." This is a
true story. So, how he hides in order
to take turns. One man, his wife says
what? "If you want to marry, then just
go ahead." The husband is incredibly
angry. "Don't you love me?""You aren't
jealous of me." Just look.
The one, yes.
The one tries to do what? To hide like
a cat in front of his wife, secretly,
as soon as she looks away, what?
The one told to marry by his wife gets
angry, "" You mean you don't love me,
you don't care about me. "The woman
says," It's not that I don't care, but
I feel I'm no longer able to serve you,
I'm already old. "" If you want to
marry, marry! Just go get married! "He
gets angry. So, actually men also want
to be envied.
Likewise, women also want feelings of
jealousy from their husbands. She feels
there is attention, there is affection.
Sometimes she acts up, aiming to
provoke her husband's jealousy. So,
jealousy is necessary and it is the
fence for the honor of our household.
And ma'am, try to remind your husband,
ask someone you trust, while not
forgetting to pray. Pray, read the
Quran, and give charity. At the time of
prostration, ask Allah. Not just in the
last prostration. In every prostration
if you are in a congregation, you don't
need to. But when you are alone praying
, you pray while shedding tears. Pray
for your husband, pray for your
children. Hopefully, Allah will provide
the best way out for you. Wallahu A'lam
.
Alright, next is Ustaz Abu Bakar, what
is your response? Please, Ustaz.
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi
wabarakatuh. Waalaikumsalam
warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
MashaAllah, Ustaz Hasin, Krisna, Ustaz
Sali. Alhamdulillah, we are very
grateful to Allah because we are always
guarded.
We are very grateful to Allah because
we still have a fortress, we still have
a fortress to defend ourselves. How are
we able to survive? However, if that
fortress is constantly under attack, it
will crumble and lose. So, one must
strengthen oneself. If I'm not mistaken
, there is one, *qad aflaha man zakkaha
wa qad khaba man dassaha*.
Now, this is a fortress for us. We must
always cleanse ourselves, purify
ourselves, and remind ourselves. We
must constantly remember what happens
to us. What we have experienced, what
good we have done. That is the fortress
we will face. Various challenges
outside, various problems before us. We
will never be capable if we never try
to cleanse ourselves, avoiding dirty
things from our lives, we will never be
capable. Therefore, keep cleansing
ourselves, in our lives God has given
two paths. Fujuraha wa taqwaha. When
these two paths exist, which one will
we take? It is not about wanting to
take it. What is within us? If we are
often dirty, then surely the path is
fujur (wickedness). If our minds always
receive negative things, negative
information, seeing unpleasant things
—for example, a wife who is always
unpleasant, hearing unpleasant
information constantly—then those
fujur paths will always come into the
husband's life. Yes, but if things are
made pleasant, like always hearing
verses of the Quran, seeing his wife
smile, greeting with kind words, then
his mind becomes clean. What is before
him is no longer fujur, but taqwa (
piety) that will come to him. Because
we are magnets. We are magnets. If we
cannot create a good, correct magnet,
then what comes to us is the opposite
of that good and correct state. Just
like life itself. There are two paths
that God has entrusted in this life.
How we, as a wife, as explained earlier
, really show that jealousy is not
blind jealousy. If we are blindly
jealous, it is not visible. And this
jealousy, we do not need to direct it
outwardly. We are jealous of the
husband, not jealous of other women.
Not jealous of his phone, not jealous
of his work, no. But be jealous for
your husband. As if the husband is
about to leave, we feel jealous. As if
the husband will be far from us, we
feel jealous. The point of such
jealousy is that we embrace him,
approach him, and cleanse his negative
thoughts. Every time he wants to go out
, go to the office, cleanse him with
kind words. If he is able to be clean,
going out there, meeting women or
meeting anyone, then the magnet within
him is clean. God willing, no filth
will ever enter into him. When filth
enters, returning home, it is cleansed
again. If this happens in life, God
willing, our household will never have
what is called a clash or conflict. We
do not need to be perfect; our life is
full of various things as mentioned, in
work, in life, on the bus, on the
subway. That is impossible. Something
will surely happen where the devil
enters into it. Eye contact tomorrow,
no plans made, but the devil knows. Oh,
at that time he arrives. He waits, he
won't leave. Looked, seen, oh he has
arrived. He pays attention, oh there he
is. He goes up, they keep staring at
each other. At that moment a meeting
happens that was never intended, but
could happen. Because of what? Because
inside him is negativity. Inside him,
there are no good words, no good
information, only unkind visions.
Coming home from the office, the
husband returns. What does the husband
see in his wife? He arrives, greets her
, her clothes are messy, her hair is
tangled. Yes, while outside he sees
women who are so beautiful. What
happens to the husband when he comes
home? He always wants to come home. He
always wants to go, wants to come to
the house. But what happens? When he
gets home, he only sees the same old
clothes. Her hair is uncombed, she just
woke up, didn't go to the bathroom, but
faced him with a sullen face. He stores
that filth. When he goes out, that
filth will look for dirty things too.
It is impossible for him to get good.
Therefore, cleanse, impart goodness,
show that I love you. That is a jealous
person. A jealous wife shows her
affection. Not by being angry, not by
forbidding, not by obstructing, not by
disturbing, scolding, or acting hostile
, no. That is called blind jealousy.
Therefore, when jealous, let's show our
affection for our husband, show our
affection for our wife, for that is an
extraordinary fortress of protection.
Our behavior before our husband, our
behavior before our wife. Show if each
is fighting to separate, each fighting
to blame, each fighting to say
something negative towards their
partner. What happens when they both go
out? At home they are together, outside
they can also be together with others.
Because of what? If at home they are
always blaming each other, outside he
looks for his own faults. He will look
for his own faults, faults against God,
he will surely look for something not
good for him. Because at home it is
always not good. Therefore, qod aflaha
man zakkaha instill that from the Quran
. Don't let there be any filth that we
give to our husband or to our wife.
Create good sentences. Once together,
we no longer have thoughts of others.
No more of that blind jealousy feeling
like," Oh, you're like this, no wonder
at the office you prefer looking at the
office women, right? "" You never look
at me, do you? "Yes. The husband says
yes. Because when you are looked at,
your face is sullen. And the husband
will say so. If he looks at his wife,
his wife is always sullen, then he
feels it's better to imagine others who
look at him with a smile. A customer
who comes with a smile. How is our
heart? What can we give to our husband?
What can we give to our wife? That is
when our bond is formed. Cleanse it
with wholesome words. Cleanse it with
soothing words. A wife's words should
be soothing. A husband's words should
give strength to his wife. That
strength is what will fortify her.
Satan will not flow into our bodies.
Our blood is cleansed by good words.
God willing, when we can provide
goodness to our husband at home, that
is the greatest fortress. Whoever he
faces, whatever he does, he will surely
remember home. Because the
extraordinary protection is something
that flows in his blood, his thoughts,
good words, good gazes, and gentle
touches. Once these three are
coordinated within him, he will never
want to do things that are unpleasant
or forbidden, God willing. Thank you.
Alright, that is the answer, Ma'am.
That was last week's question. What is
coming in now is greetings to Ustaz
Husein and Ustaz Abu Bakar.
Ustaz, my wife is, uh, short-tempered
and easily emotional, she likes to
scold.
Oh, alright, Ma'am. That was the answer
, I forgot to use the mic earlier. The
answer has been given, that was last
week's answer. Now, the one coming in
is about a husband. whose wife is, uh,
ill-tempered, often blurts out unkind,
harsh words. Uh, but I respond
affectionately with" I love you "as
well. Uh, my question is, I have said
to her," I am not angry, but Allah is
angry. "Is, uh, my statement correct,
that" I am not angry, but Allah will be
angry with you "? Is my attitude
correct? That is all. In the name of
Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most
Merciful. O Allah, teach us what
benefits us and benefit us with what
You have taught us. If we observe anger
together, likewise with an angry person
. We will find that this angry person
distances themselves. Not only from
strangers, but even from those closest
to them. Those who are close, those who
love them, with such an angry attitude,
will find their love gradually fading
and disappearing. Therefore, a man came
to our Prophet Muhammad, peace and
blessings be upon him and his family,
asking for his advice." O Messenger of
Allah, advise me, "he asked for a
testament. Allah answers. The Messenger
of Allah replied," Do not get angry. ""
Do not get angry. "Do not get angry.
Then the person asked," Add more, add
more, O Messenger of Allah. "The
Messenger of Allah replied," Do not get
angry. "
A third time, he asked for more. The
Messenger of Allah said," Do not get
angry. "Perhaps the Messenger of Allah
saw that this person was prone to anger
. So the Messenger of Allah sought to
provide therapy for the various sources
of disease that arise. Because many
diseases will emerge, many effects
arise from an angry attitude. Besides
eliminating love, it also causes
distance from those close to them,
destroys beautiful opportunities, and
makes it impossible for them to
socialize well within society. and
cultivates hatred in the human heart,
and also triggers unattractive things
within others 'hearts, and their own
face will look unpleasant. If every
angry person tried to look at their own
face while angry, surely they would try
to calm their anger. They would feel
ashamed of themselves when angry. How
scary their face looks, the expression
in their eyes. Likewise with the words
that come out. And the same goes for
their body language. A man who is
short-tempered will not make his wife
or children feel comfortable. Therefore
, there was once a case of a husband
who was always angry at home, returning
from work, getting slightly bothered
and getting angry. There was nothing at
all pleasant, just anger. Until finally
, his wife and children prayed. In
their prayer, they asked for their
husband to be taken away.
For their husband to be what? For his
life to be taken away quickly. So the
children and wife were not praying for
their parent's well-being, but praying
for their father to be taken. Because
they felt tortured. Every day they only
witnessed terror, witnessed anger and
unpleasant words.
If those words were poured upon him,
surely he would also feel the same way.
But unfortunately, what about this
angry person? He never gives himself
the chance to feel the same thing. He
is always blaming others. In the end,
he is not only distant from people, but
also distant from Allah Subhanahu wa
ta'ala. Why? Because Allah, the Most
Compassionate and Most Merciful, who
created us and gives us everything,
never treats us the way that person
treats others.
Therefore, a person who gives charity
and then hurts the feelings of the
recipient,
or brings it up, Allah will nullify the
reward of his charity. And Allah
emphasizes" qawlun ma'ruf, "good,
beautiful, and engaging words." Khairum
min sadaqatin yatba'uha adza. "Kind
words, forgiving the mistakes or
ignorance of those who come to ask us,
or the mistakes of our family or wife,
we should forgive them. And the kind
words we express are better than
charity followed by harassment.
Therefore, among the characteristics of
the pious who are guaranteed entry into
paradise is" wa sari'u ila maghfiratin
... ""...min Rabbikum wa jannatin'
arduha as-samawatu wal-ardu u'iddat
lil-muttaqin, alladzina yunfiquna... ""
...wal-kazimina al-ghaiz. "Race one
another to reach forgiveness from your
Lord. In what way? By doing deeds that
are pleasing to Allah. Restraining our
anger towards those who have wronged us
. Just as Allah restrains His wrath and
anger towards us for the sins we commit
. One day, Abu Bakr As-Siddiq
radhiallahu anhu, after the incident of
slander against his daughter, Sayyidah
Aisyah, Mother of the Believers, who
was accused of adultery by people whom
Abu Bakr was providing for, including
his cousin, Mistah bin Uthatha. As soon
as Abu Bakr found out that they were
involved in slandering his daughter,
the wife of the Prophet, he swore to
stop helping them. See how Allah
responded to Abu Bakr's anger. Allah
validated Abu Bakar's actions but
directed him toward something better.
Those granted virtue and abundance by
Allah Ta'ala should not swear to stop
giving aid to those who have wronged
them. Whether they are relatives, the
poor, or those who have migrated in the
way of Allah. Grant forgiveness, let it
go. Do you not wish to receive
forgiveness from Allah? So, those who
love to forgive and suppress their
anger are the most beloved by Allah and
most easily receive His forgiveness. So
those who spend in the way of Allah,
who suppress their anger, and who
forgive the mistakes of others. People
like this are the ones most beloved by
Allah. Allah dearly loves those who do
good.
There is an interesting story that
serves as a lesson for us. Imam Ali
Zainul Abidin, peace be upon him, was
the son of Al-Husain ibn Ali bin Abi
Talib, grandson of Sayyidah Fatimah.
Known by the name As-Sajjad or Zainul
Abidin. How many people have learned
from him? Including Imam Al-Hasan
Al-Basri, who was also greatly
influenced by Imam Ali Zainal Abidin.
One day, when he was hosting guests for
a meal, his servant rushed in carrying
grilled meat on a metal skewer.
He fell, and it hit the son of Imam Ali
Zainal Abidin. It struck his head, and
he passed away. The servant, trembling,
looked at his master while saying,"
Wal-kaziminal-ghayz wal- 'afina'
aninnas "" Wallahu yuhibbul-muhsinin. "
" Those who like to suppress anger,
grant forgiveness "" to people. ""
Allah loves those who do good. "Imam
Ali, as a human, was saddened by his
son's death, but he saw something else,
what was it? Something more beautiful,
and he knew that anger would not bring
his son back to life. He said," I
suppress my anger, and I forgive you. "
" Wa ant 'atiqun li-wajhillah, "you are
free for the sake of Allah Ta'ala." Wa
Allahu yuhibbul-muhsinin. "So, first,
he suppressed his anger, granted
forgiveness, and declared you free for
the sake of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala.
So, if a person can suppress their
anger, not do inappropriate things
while angry, and not speak improperly,
these are people who are always within
Allah's mercy. Therefore, tell your
wife that this short-tempered attitude
will make people around you distance
themselves from you. Over time, their
love will fade. And it is not just that
, as you said, Allah is also angry at
women like this who speak harshly to
their husbands. If she can speak
harshly to those close to her, how will
she be toward those who are far?
Therefore, be careful; this is a lesson
for all of us, men or women, to strive
to avoid harsh words, insults, and
abuse. Some people say," Ustaz, many
people slander you, saying, "' The
Ustaz is this, that, and so on. '" I
say their words are their
responsibility before Allah. What I
fear is not their words. What I fear is
that from my own mouth, words might
come out that will become a heavy
burden in the hereafter. Let them say
what they want to say. The important
thing is that words come out of our
mouths that won't burden our reckoning
in the hereafter. How much longer until
we are called by Allah? It doesn't feel
like a year has passed; it feels like
just a day or two. A day.
Isn't that right? Wa amrati illa
kalamil b. So let's restrain our
tongues, control our anger, and
remember Allah often, remembering the
last day so we can easily forgive.
Don't just remember the mistakes of
others. Remember our many sins against
Allah and even against other people.
May Allah grant us all the awareness to
be willing to forgive and restrain our
anger. Wallahu a'lam.
Alright, now we hear the response from
Ustaz Abu Bakar Baraja. Please. In the
name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the
Most Merciful. The most terrifying
thing in life is the word "anger." Just
hearing the word "anger" makes us
tremble. Even hearing the mention of
anger makes us feel uncomfortable. What
if we are the ones doing it? What if we
are the recipients of that anger? It's
more than just discomfort. It feels
unpleasant, and we will never be able
to handle it. But there are people who
enjoy the word "anger," who enjoy
spouting angry words. What happens to
such a person? Because they are used to
receiving, used to being treated. With
an angry pattern, their entire memory
contains mentions of anger, angry
behavior, and the vibration of anger
within them. Therefore, we can observe
people who are always angry because
they are accustomed to receiving anger,
anger, anger. Now, how about someone
who often hears people being angry?
It's not pleasant; if someone is used
to hearing things that are good, good,
good. When they hear someone being
angry, they will run away. If a wife is
angry at her husband, if the husband is
good, he will run away. Are we afraid
if we are left by our husband? Tell
them. If you are angry, I will run away
. Because I don't want to hear it, I
don't want to see it, I will run away.
They will get even angrier. The wife
will get even angrier. I will never
meet you again. They will think about
it, but not when they are angry. If
they are currently angry and we say we
will run away, they will chase us
because they are angry. After they are
quiet, calm. If you are angry, I will
run away.
H
when they have calmed down.
Oh, like that.
When they are calm, inform them, remind
them again. Nowadays there are many
recordings; when they are angry, film
or record it. Once it's over, once they
are calm, this is your voice. Ask them
to recall how they were at that time
and convey that your anger cannot bring
happiness into yourself. They have
listened back to the anger; if possible
, record it so they know how to face
whether we have to be angry again,
which won't be good. When a wife is
angry, we stay silent. Maybe we seek
forgiveness, we ensure that they are
angry because there is something within
themselves. What's even more unpleasant
is not someone who is angry. It's
someone who always looks for people to
be angry. H
they will seek ways to make this person
angry at them.
Is there such a thing?
There are many. So, how can a wife get
angry because her husband often gives
negative information, digging up the
past until she's annoyed and angry.
Conversely, there are also wives who
enjoy being scolded by their husbands.
Why is that? Every little thing, they
pinch, every little thing, they say
something unpleasant. When the husband
is calm, suddenly she says something
unpleasant. Annoyed. I've told you. Or
saying it over and over again until it
rings in their ears. What happens? A
person will get annoyed. "Be quiet,
will you." She stops for a moment, then
starts again. She stops for a moment,
then starts again. Finally, when the
husband gets angry, she goes quiet and
smiles. People who often look to be
scolded, they seek to be scolded. Wait,
there are people like that? There
really are. Because they are constantly
pleased by it. If we look at their
process, they enjoy being scolded. And
it often happens when a child is
running around and gets scolded, or
touches something and gets scolded. So,
every time, they will seek ways to get
scolded.
It happens. Even when they have a
family of their own, it's the same.
It's the same because they are used to
receiving anger. Now, if we encounter
something like this, let's say together
: no more anger. No more anger. Keep
repeating the words: I do not want to
seek anger. I do not want to seek anger
. I do not want to be scolded. If our
minds always ask for and hope not to be
scolded, not to be angry, then our
minds will continue to flow and move
toward something pleasant that will
make our atmosphere happy. Therefore,
husband and wife should work together
to find something good. These are
unkind words. We will not repeat them.
Let's repeat good words instead. Create
something pleasant in family life. That
is when there will never be the word
anger again, no more angry behavior,
there will no longer be such a thing as
anger written in the family. God
willing.
Responding immediately. Uh, I once
accidentally held my phone while I was
angry.
Yes. I once held my phone. Mm. I
recorded, uh......while I was angry, it
got recorded by accident, I was
embarrassed myself. Okay. Alright.
Thank you, Ustaz Bupakar Wararja. It's
a shame we are limited by
time, we will meet again on the
psychology show next Wednesday. Thank
you, I am Muhammad Krishna Saputra, and
Ustaz Fahri, we take our leave.
Wabillahi taufiq wal hidayah,
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi
wabarakatuh. Walaikumsalam
warahmatullah wabarakatuh. Yes, Manh H