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0:13 Brail TV. 0:21 >> In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious 0:22 , the Most Merciful. Peace be upon you, 0:24 and Allah's mercy and blessings, 0:25 brothers and sisters, may Allah have 0:27 mercy on you. I am so happy to be with 0:31 you on this Monday, which I pray is 0:34 full of blessings. Together with 0:37 Silaturahim Radio. The topic for this 0:42 Monday is something that will help us 0:46 become the most optimal, closest 0:49 figures for our beloved children. Child 0:55 protection, featuring a guest speaker 0:59 we have all been waiting for. How are 1:04 you doing? Are you healthy? Praise be 1:06 to Allah. Let us not forget to send 1:08 prayers and greetings to our beloved 1:10 leader, our intercessor, Muhammad, the 1:12 Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings 1:13 be upon him. May we be reunited with 1:16 him in the hereafter, on the day we 1:19 long for so deeply. Well, brothers and 1:22 sisters. Especially you, who are about 1:26 to build a family. When we have 1:31 children among us, what exactly do our 1:36 beloved little ones need during their 1:40 presence on this earth of Allah? That 1:46 will be our guide for today. Because 1:50 earlier, off-air, Dr. Hamidah Pati Lima 1:54 said we will discuss the father's role 1:57 in the first 1000 days of our child's 2:01 life, and much more, of course. She is 2:04 already here, so let us greet her. 2:06 Peace be upon you, and Allah's mercy 2:07 and blessings. 2:08 >> And peace be upon you too. How are you, 2:10 Mother? 2:10 >> Praise be to Allah. It is truly 2:12 essential for men and fathers-to-be to 2:15 listen to our discussion this time. 2:17 >> Yes. Specifically, the father's role 2:21 >> in the first 1000 days of life. 2:25 >> Mashallah. Right, let us listen with 2:28 all our heart and soul to Dr. Hamidah 2:30 Pati's discussion today. The father's 2:33 role in the first 1000 days of our 2:36 child's life. This means approximately 2:38 3 years, right? Please proceed. 2:40 >> Right, thank you, Mother. In the name 2:43 of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most 2:44 Merciful. Peace be upon you, and 2:46 Allah's mercy and blessings. Rasil 2:49 Radio listeners who are in your homes. 2:56 Praise be to Allah, we are still given 2:58 the opportunity by Allah to share 3:00 information. God willing, this time we 3:03 will discuss the father's role in the 3:09 first 1000 days of life and 3:11 child-rearing. This topic is very 3:16 important for every parent who is about 3:23 to welcome the arrival of a child. For 3:29 that, as we know, Indonesia has 3:33 ratified the convention since August 3:37 25th, 1990 through Presidential Decree 3:47 Number 36 of 1990. There is a most 3:54 important article that must be observed 3:58 by every parent, especially the father, 4:03 which is Article 5. A child's right is 4:07 to have parents who are knowledgeable 4:13 about them. Therefore, parenting 4:17 classes should not only be attended by 4:22 mothers-to-be, but it is also important 4:26 for fathers-to-be or fathers to attend. 4:31 Yes. 4:32 >> Because the father's role is very 4:36 important, especially when we know of 4:42 one important law that regulates the 4:47 welfare of mother and child in the 4:51 first 1000 days of their birth, through 4:55 Law Number 4 of 2024. If possible, 5:00 fathers should have this law and read 5:05 it carefully. During the process of 5:11 birth, a father has the right to 3 days 5:14 of leave according to the law. Yes, 5:18 therefore in this discussion, we need 5:21 to understand together the 1000 days. 5:28 From when are the first days of life 5:31 calculated? If we calculate those 1,000 5:37 days, it actually starts from the 5:41 moment Mom is declared pregnant; that 5:45 is when the first 1,000 days of life 5:48 are counted. 5:51 >> Hehe. 5:53 >> So, what should expectant fathers or 5:58 fathers do? That is to ensure how the 6:06 mother who is pregnant feels happiness, 6:11 feels safe, feels comfortable, and 6:16 automatically does not experience 6:20 shouting, violence, or any other forms 6:25 of things that later cause emotional 6:29 problems for the pregnant mother. For 6:34 that, fathers really need to pay 6:37 attention to this. Then after birth, it 6:44 is up to 2 years. So we calculate 9 6:51 months + 24 months, which means 33 6:56 months. 33 months is the same as the 7:02 1,000 days of a child's early life. In 7:07 Singapore, Bunda Nuning, it's already 5 7:10 years. Now, back in Indonesia, we used 7:15 to have the Healthy Indonesian Toddler 7:18 competition program, developed by the 7:21 Indonesian Child Welfare Foundation, 7:24 which measured the role of the father. 7:29 So, fathers, what do we need to do 7:34 during these first 1,000 days? He 7:40 >> there are six aspects of development. 7:45 If possible, from second to second, 7:48 minute to minute, hour to hour, day to 7:52 day, week to week, a father must ensure 7:55 that development process. We don't just 8:01 look at their growth, but their 8:03 development. The first development is 8:07 that a father must start paying 8:10 attention to religious and moral values 8:13 . We don't look at whether the child's 8:20 religious values are developing or not, 8:24 but what input we provide so that those 8:28 values are truly felt by the child. 8:34 religious and moral values. A father 8:39 must ensure that what is done truly 8:46 respects the religious practices being 8:50 followed. Now, if 8:54 >> in our daily life as Muslims, we read 8:59 the Quran and then ensure prayer, dhikr 9:07 , and some have already started 9:09 practicing it too, Bunda Nuning. 9:12 >> He 9:13 >> the father collects recordings which 9:17 are then played for the pregnant mother 9:21 . That becomes an effort to calm the 9:26 mother's heart by listening to Surah 9:29 Maryam. How in that Surah, a mother who 9:37 is pregnant and about to give birth has 9:41 the effort to defend herself. 9:46 >> Well, there is actually encouragement 9:48 there. Then some people have started 9:52 reading Surah Yusuf. Surah Yusuf is not 9:56 emphasized on how the child will be 9:59 born handsome, you know. But actually, 10:03 there are many moral messages conveyed 10:06 through that surah. Namely, how a 10:10 father must act fairly toward every 10:13 child. Not to mention when we listen to 10:19 Surah Luqman there, Bunda Nuning. 10:23 >> He 10:24 >> there is an interesting discussion 10:27 between a father and his child to 10:30 ensure these religious practices 10:33 continue during these 1,000 days of 10:35 birth. We need to instill these values 10:40 in our children through our efforts of 10:43 letting pregnant mothers listen to the 10:46 recitation of holy verses. This is 10:49 important. Then what about morals? The 10:53 way a father treats the mother is what 10:59 the child will feel while in the womb. 11:07 If the father is warm, God willing, the 11:10 baby will also be warm. 11:13 >> If the father is harsh, the baby will 11:15 react. Now, we just need to follow 11:19 those processes. Fathers and mothers, 11:23 just to receive the news that our wife 11:28 is confirmed pregnant 11:30 >> by a midwife, an obstetrician, or a 11:34 test kit. That is a father. How happy 11:39 he is, and he hopes to share that 11:42 information with the whole world to get 11:48 acknowledgment that I am going to be a 11:52 father-to-be. How precious it is, 11:58 because some couples have waited for 12:02 years, even having to go to Malaysia, 12:06 or travel all around Indonesia to find 12:10 the right doctor or someone to help 12:15 with their wife's pregnancy process. So 12:21 , after receiving the news, do not 12:24 waste this information. Therefore, let 12:29 us begin to ensure our child will have 12:34 strong development in religious and 12:38 moral values. That is the first point. 12:44 The second, because we live in 12:47 Indonesia, this second aspect is 12:50 important, namely regarding the values 12:53 of Pancasila. We know Pancasila 12:58 currently has five principles. How do 13:02 we practice the values of divinity? How 13:09 do we practice the values of humanity? 13:13 How do we practice the values of unity? 13:17 Then, how do we practice the value of 13:20 deliberation? Ah, this is interesting. 13:22 We need to underline this, Ms. Nuning, 13:24 >> on this fourth principle. 13:28 >> Since when does a child start being 13:29 invited to discuss by their father? 13:32 Since in the womb. When the mother is 13:38 lying down, the father invites the baby 13:41 in the womb to have a discussion. 13:44 Discuss what? The most important thing 13:49 is the best things we inform them about 13:52 later. My child, father and mother. We 13:59 have waited for you for a long time, 14:01 now you can already be felt in Mother's 14:03 womb. You have already started kicking 14:07 your feet. Then we already have the 14:11 four-dimensional ultrasound results. We 14:16 are very happy for your presence. 14:18 Discuss, listen to them. God willing, 14:24 they will record what Mother records. 14:29 Because the process is very connected, 14:32 Ms. Nuning. 14:33 >> Heh. 14:34 >> And there will be very pleasant 14:38 reactions felt by the mother. How about 14:42 the fetal movement in the womb? We 14:44 invite them to discuss. For that, 14:48 fathers-to-be, try to find a book 14:51 written by a mother from America to 14:55 observe a baby's process, from 14:58 determining diet before pregnancy, 15:03 >> until they are born, it is all recorded 15:07 . For that, try to find it. Those are 15:12 the values of the fourth principle, 15:14 deliberation. Everything needs to be 15:18 discussed with our wife. If there is 15:22 already a child in the womb, let's just 15:24 discuss it. Even though the child will 15:28 not make a sound until they are in the 15:30 world, right? 15:32 >> There are only two who spoke 15:34 immediately while in their mother's 15:36 cradle, right? He he. 15:39 >> Prophet Jesus and one person who was 15:43 told of having defied his mother and 15:46 was prayed for. Then earlier, Ustaz 15:50 Husein told that story. That becomes 15:55 important for us to ensure, fathers. 16:00 Then the principles or values present 16:07 in the fifth precept related to justice 16:09 , from inside the womb until the child 16:12 is 24 months old, which is when they 16:15 are weaned. But in the chapter of 16:20 Luqman, there is also a weaning period. 16:24 Ah, that weaning period is up to 33 16:27 months. How we strive for that. That is 16:31 the second. Ah, no less important. This 16:34 is the third, Mother Nuni, which is 16:37 ensuring 16:39 >> fine motor and gross motor skills. Fine 16:44 motor, gross motor, what role should 16:47 the father play and what must be 16:49 maintained here? Especially regarding 16:54 nutritional intake. 16:56 >> Hm. From food and drinks. For that, 17:04 what must be done? Ensuring every food 17:10 that the child will eat turns into 17:15 energy which then makes the child's 17:19 body grow and develop rapidly, is 17:23 greatly determined by its lawfulness 17:27 and wholesomeness. For that, fathers 17:33 must ensure that what our children eat, 17:37 especially in the first 1000 days of 17:41 life, is food with a clear source of 17:45 funding. If it is not clear, do not 17:51 serve it because it will impact our 17:55 child's body in terms of physical motor 17:59 aspects. Now, after they are born, the 18:04 father must start ensuring this child 18:08 from, uh, How is it, Ma'am, lying down 18:14 >> yes 18:15 >> Lying on their stomach, then crawling, 18:20 starting to try to stand, then they 18:24 start walking, then they start jogging, 18:28 and then running for real by the age of 18:33 2. The child's progress is starting to 18:36 be seen. A father must ensure whether 18:41 our child's physical motor development 18:45 is truly optimal or if there is 18:48 something that needs attention, because 18:52 we know from the process in the womb 18:56 until they are 2 years old. Ah, for 19:02 that, especially for those who are 19:05 planning, uh, the birth of a child, if 19:08 possible, a married couple needs to 19:14 consult with a doctor. So, planning 19:18 includes checking their blood. Yes. 19:21 >> The blood should be checked to see if 19:23 it is healthy. For that, it is a 19:27 requirement, if you want to accept a 19:29 prospective son-in-law, that they have 19:31 donated blood at least five times. Now, 19:35 if this is strived for, God willing, we 19:37 will find a child with great physical 19:39 motor skills. Because during the 19:43 pregnancy planning process, the doctor 19:45 will ask in detail, especially to the 19:47 father. Does the father smoke? Yes. 19:53 >> Does the father drink alcoholic 19:56 beverages? How is his sleep? How is his 20:01 exercise? How is his food intake? It is 20:06 not just the mother who is asked, but 20:08 the father. Yes. 20:11 >> The quality of his sperm is what 20:13 becomes important. If this is not done, 20:20 how will we prepare ourselves? That is 20:24 important. So we must pay attention to 20:28 our child's physical motor skills from 20:32 the womb until they are 2 years old; we 20:35 monitor them. If there is something 20:40 that we think needs to be consulted 20:44 with a doctor, do it immediately so the 20:49 doctor can quickly know that our child 20:53 has something different. Yes. 20:56 >> Which then 20:59 >> If we know earlier, especially while 21:02 the baby is still in the womb, there is 21:05 mental preparation that must be made by 21:08 the prospective father and mother. 21:12 Especially for the prospective father, 21:15 how he is prepared to accept the 21:17 possibility that the child is detected 21:20 with developmental cell disorders. That 21:25 means he has started to prepare himself 21:28 to accept it, and what is no less 21:31 important is becoming a spokesperson 21:34 when grandparents, aunts, and uncles 21:37 ask about the condition of their 21:40 grandchild or niece/nephew. If the 21:45 child is born with abilities, we don't 21:50 need to explain much. But if it is a 21:53 disability, well, this 21:57 >> is a father's readiness to provide an 22:02 explanation and expect access, not pity 22:07 . But how will the grandparents, aunts, 22:11 and uncles accept their niece or nephew 22:13 . This is what needs to be facilitated. 22:17 This becomes important. And then, what 22:20 about the neighbors? So that neighbors 22:25 understand from the start that this 22:28 child has things that need attention 22:30 regarding their disability aspect. So 22:35 all neighbors, and then the child 22:38 starts school, which means more people 22:41 we need to explain this to. If we let 22:45 only the mother be the spokesperson at 22:49 home to explain this, a mother also has 22:52 her limitations. Therefore, support 22:57 from a father becomes very important. 23:01 For that, fathers must start preparing 23:04 themselves in planning a child's birth 23:11 up to the first 1000 days of life. If 23:18 this has been prepared, whatever God 23:21 gives, we accept it sincerely and we 23:24 are ready to help facilitate our child, 23:28 hoping our children are born with 23:31 abilities. That is the third point. Ah, 23:37 this is the fourth one, Mother Nuning. 23:40 >> Related to the child's cognitive 23:42 development. This cognitive aspect 23:46 actually starts to be established 23:51 according to the neuroscientists, 23:53 Mother Nuning. 23:54 >> Yes. 23:56 >> At the age of 0 to 4 years, about 50%of 24:01 cognitive development occurs. Then the 24:07 rest is 30%from 5 to 8 years old. So 24:14 the total is up to eight. But what we 24:17 want to push, what we want to 24:20 strengthen, is this first 1000 days of 24:23 life. So if possible, fathers, read 24:27 books to the mother who is carrying the 24:31 child that are in accordance with what 24:37 is planned for the child. If the child 24:43 is to become a scientist, or an artist, 24:48 or a great farmer, or a great fisherman 24:53 , or a professional worker, then adjust 24:57 accordingly. Read what book, tell it to 25:04 his wife, then take his wife wherever; 25:08 to a computer exhibition, or a book 25:12 fair, or wherever, and that information 25:16 will be recorded by the mother and then 25:20 transformed to the child. The child 25:27 records that. Especially when he is 25:32 born and until approaching the age of 2 25:39 . Wow, that is, if the father Diligent 25:45 reading, God willing, will help 25:50 children quickly learn about various 25:54 objects around them, be introduced to 25:59 types of colors, various plants, 26:03 different types of stones in the yard, 26:10 or everything in our house that we 26:14 identify, yes, from the bedroom, the 26:21 kitchen, the dining room, the family 26:24 room, the living room, and then the 26:27 yard. That is all information for the 26:31 benefit of our child's cognitive 26:33 development. And if that is truly 26:38 accompanied by the father, God willing, 26:42 the mother will be helped. Just left to 26:45 verify. Do you remember what Dad said? 26:51 Do you remember what Dad said? those 26:54 are all unique objects. So finally the 26:57 child will be an individual who at 27:02 least reacts when we ask them something 27:06 . That is the cognitive aspect. Ah, 27:10 what is no less important is the fifth 27:12 one, the language aspect, Mother Nuning 27:17 . 27:17 >> Yes. 27:18 >> If we hope that the child reacts when 27:26 we call their name, since when does 27:28 that responsiveness begin? Actually, 27:31 since they were in the womb. They truly 27:33 react to the father's presence. Oh, Dad 27:37 has arrived. So it connects when they 27:41 are born, the first sound heard when 27:46 they are born is the adhan. Wow, the 27:50 child is called to prayer. But don't 27:55 make it too loud, just do it. Don't use 27:58 the Maghrib adhan, just the standard 28:01 adhan. The child hears it, and then the 28:05 iqamah is recited next to them. Finally 28:09 , the child will start to be introduced 28:13 . It seems like I've heard this sound 28:15 before when I was in the 28:16 >> womb. Today I am in the world. The 28:23 child just needs to be told stories; if 28:27 all that is practiced earnestly by 28:31 fathers, God willing, we will find 28:34 great children. Start by inviting them 28:39 to talk. Here I am practicing for 28:42 Mother Nuning, 28:43 >> yes, 28:46 >> every piece of laundry at home, while I 28:49 carry them, I tell stories: this is 28:52 this color, this is Grandma's shirt, 28:55 this is Mother's, this is Mama's, this 28:58 is Papa's, all told. Then what is no 29:05 less important is every time we talk to 29:11 our children, use formal language so 29:14 that when the child speaks, they 29:17 clearly know the words commonly used by 29:21 adults, so they learn quickly and 29:25 easily, don't change 'drink' to 29:28 something else. The child gets confused 29:32 , "I want to eat." But they say "mam 29:35 mamam." So say eat-eat, drink-drink, 29:39 that's it. How are you? What is your 29:44 name? The child is invited to speak 29:48 with words often used by adults so that 29:54 what? So that when they are given the 30:00 ability to speak, 30:03 >> they can already say and understand 30:06 every word. Therefore, come on fathers, 30:11 you must pay attention and we will 30:14 immediately detect it. If this child is 30:19 spoken to, and they don't respond 30:21 immediately. That means we should 30:24 immediately consult a doctor. 30:26 >> Hm. 30:28 >> If we point at something, they don't 30:31 follow. Ah, this means the motor aspect 30:35 , cognitive aspect, and language aspect 30:39 are truly interconnected. So those six 30:43 aspects are all interconnected with one 30:46 another. So if a father immediately 30:49 detects when being spoken to, this this 30:54 child immediately has, uh, we have a 30:57 niece and nephew who are both Quran 30:59 memorizers. The father is a memorizer, 31:03 >> the mother is a memorizer. Married and 31:06 had a child, when the child was lying 31:09 down the father would repeat his 31:16 memorized recitations, the child would 31:20 pay close attention, and the baby would 31:23 think, "Dad is talking to me." So the 31:27 child reacts properly. Hmm. 31:30 >> There is a recording, but the recording 31:33 is private so it won't be shared. 31:35 >> Yes. 31:36 >> It becomes important. 31:38 >> Try to imagine, fathers and mothers, if 31:42 we want great children now or in the 31:46 future, it is very much determined by 31:49 guidance. The two people appointed 31:55 directly by God as the first and 31:57 primary educators are the mothers and 32:00 fathers. The key lies with the father. 32:04 Therefore, come on, fathers, take part 32:10 in ensuring this fifth aspect of child 32:13 development. Language, language comes 32:17 from sound phonemes. Then consonants, 32:24 that's speaking, starting from words, 32:27 from letters, the letters we think he 32:30 is saying, like letter A, no, it's papa 32:33 , so that is the letter P. 32:37 >> Mama, mama. 32:40 >> He is actually trying to, and then he 32:43 starts to produce words and then he has 32:49 started to be good. Combining two words 32:54 into one sentence. Mam. Mam. Mam. Ah, I 33:01 want to eat. 33:03 >> Hm. 33:04 >> I don't like it. That means it's 33:06 already three words. Fathers must pay 33:08 attention to that later. Therefore, in 33:13 this character education, what becomes 33:17 the key if we want children to speak 33:20 with character. The example comes from 33:25 the father. So, fathers, every time you 33:31 speak to anyone while our children are 33:35 listening, watching, or monitoring, use 33:39 the right choice of words. Because at 33:44 that moment, the child is recording. So 33:48 they are recording everything that 33:50 adults are saying. Therefore, adults at 33:55 home when there is a baby or a small 33:59 child, speak with the best words and 34:03 sentences so that it will all be 34:07 well-recorded by our children. It 34:13 becomes an important point, and God 34:16 willing, when they express those words, 34:19 we will say, "Wow, this child is great. 34:22 " Who taught them? 34:25 >> None other than 34:26 >> the father. 34:27 >> The father and the adults at home. 34:30 >> He. 34:30 >> It just so happens that at our house, 34:34 there is an aunt of our child. Her 34:38 hobby is reading. So every time she 34:41 comes home from the office, she brings 34:43 a book, novels, those thick novels 34:47 which she then reads to our niece/ 34:50 nephew. Eh, the niece/nephew is our 34:53 child. That is reading for language 34:56 development. Come on, come on, fathers. 35:01 The first 1,000 days of life are a key 35:04 point. And then, this is no less 35:09 important. If fathers succeed in 35:13 reading this last aspect, God willing, 35:17 it will be easy for us to find things 35:21 that we think need to be corrected. 35:26 What are the social and emotional 35:28 aspects? An emotional child is one who 35:33 shows what they are feeling. They are 35:36 happy, they are joyful, they feel safe. 35:42 But if they start to frown, well, look 35:44 a bit sad or angry, we must detect it 35:47 immediately. What makes them angry or 35:53 happy is something we need to read from 35:57 the start. Because we are helping this 36:02 child's development process from the 36:04 emotional aspect. If a child likes to 36:10 throw tantrums, it is actually very 36:12 simple to figure out. Yes. That child 36:20 is actually saying that their father 36:24 used to get angry at their mother. 36:27 Exactly. So that is the point when a 36:31 child likes to slam things. It is easy. 36:35 Try to detect who likes to slam things 36:37 at home. Everywhere. A child is born 36:43 with goodness already instilled in them 36:46 , but it's their environment that ruins 36:49 it. Now, let's try to detect it. A 36:55 child likes to slam, spit, throw things 37:01 , protest, cry—check all of that. 37:08 Perhaps when they want milk from their 37:13 mother, the milk is sour or not fresh, 37:17 that will affect the child's emotions. 37:22 What should the father do? The father 37:26 must help detect those things. Then 37:30 social. Emotion is related to social 37:36 aspects. Now, this also needs to be 37:39 known by fathers, yes. Children, since 37:44 they are in the womb, have been given 37:47 four human rights. Human rights are not 37:54 just Western concepts; they are rights 38:00 given by God to every human being. So, 38:07 only humans possess human rights. 38:10 Others have rights according to their 38:13 nature as creatures. As humans, we need 38:17 to know, and fathers must also know 38:19 this, 38:23 >> in fulfilling these six aspects of 38:25 development. The first fundamental 38:30 right that should be noted is the right 38:33 to political expression. A child has 38:38 been "political" since they were in the 38:40 womb. 38:41 >> What is the political right? To have a 38:44 voice. Having a voice means speaking. 38:47 >> Yes. 38:49 >> They write something or form something 38:51 they want to communicate to their 38:53 father and mother. For that, Mother, 38:59 when a child is born, what sound are we 39:03 waiting for? Come on. What sound, Buoni 39:08 ? 39:10 >> A happy greeting from their parents. 39:14 >> When a child is born, what sound is it 39:17 that we are waiting for? 39:19 >> Oh, crying, right? 39:20 >> If there is crying, what does it mean? 39:22 >> There is life. There is 39:24 >> there is what? There is a soul or there 39:26 is life? 39:27 >> There is life. Yes. 39:28 >> It means the child has the political 39:32 right to speak. If they speak, it means 39:36 there is life in that child. 39:40 >> If a child has stopped speaking at home 39:43 , it means there is something we need 39:46 to detect. Now, when a father arrives 39:51 home, he should immediately ask, "Hello 39:53 , how are you today?" The child 39:57 >> hears him, you know, even in the womb. 39:59 Masha'Allah. he will perhaps, we 40:02 estimate the child is already 2 years 40:04 old or 1 year old, they have started, 40:07 uh, talking, right? How are you? he 40:13 will surely respond with a smile, but 40:16 if the father doesn't communicate, 40:19 that's political; then this is what I 40:22 want to convey, the second right, Ms. 40:25 Nun. 40:27 >> yes 40:28 >> regarding, uh, child social development 40:32 , namely a child's second fundamental 40:38 right is the social right. He knows who 40:42 everyone is, who to play with, who to 40:47 mingle with. because he already has the 40:54 political right to speak, 40:56 >> uh 40:57 >> he will automatically express that 41:00 right to anyone. this is what will then 41:06 proceed to the third fundamental right, 41:08 the economic right. Ah, in that 41:12 economic right, he is actually 41:14 transacting, selling something either 41:16 in the form of 41:18 >> ideas, 41:20 >> goods, or services. Just imagine, Ma'am 41:25 , if a child has a toy, then he sees 41:28 his friend has a toy different from the 41:31 one in his hand. Even though the toy 41:36 our child has was just opened from the 41:40 box, unboxed, he still looks at his 41:43 friend's. even though his friend's toy 41:47 >> is old 41:48 >> is old 41:49 >> he wants 41:52 >> to touch it, wants to experience what 41:55 he is doing, bargaining, "this is my 41:58 toy, you use/hold your toy" 42:01 >> that is a transaction, that's economic. 42:03 >> Aha. This becomes important. A father 42:07 must also start paying attention to 42:10 whether my child has ideas, has 42:12 concepts, has something he is selling. 42:17 So it is important that a child sells 42:22 things from the womb even, if they 42:27 could sell, they already want to sell, 42:29 not selling, uh, Indonesia, yes, 42:30 selling. Then the last one, the fourth 42:36 fundamental right, must pay attention 42:38 to identity. Ah, culture. So cultural 42:43 rights. So, the child has started to be 42:46 introduced to who their father is, 42:48 their background, what their culture is 42:50 . From Sunda, from Java, from Aceh, or 42:56 Malay, from Minangkabau, from Batak, 43:00 from Dayak, from Sumba, from Ambon, 43:08 from Maluku, or from Makassar, Bugis, 43:11 Gorontalo, Minahasa, Sangir Laut. Wow, 43:17 all that, Papua, must be introduced to 43:20 our children. at the age of 43:22 >> 2 years old, through those ceremonies, 43:24 the child has started recording. Why do 43:27 I have to wear this clothes? Why is my 43:31 mother wearing that clothes? Why is my 43:33 father wearing these clothes? The child 43:35 will definitely ask. Now, for that, 43:38 come on, a father's role is not just to 43:42 provide for the family, but how to 43:45 ensure the six aspects I mentioned 43:48 earlier. Then what is no less important 43:52 , too, a father is not only, uh, 44:00 providing for the family earlier, but 44:03 try to help carry their child. There 44:07 are also ones I like to see from, uh, 44:11 broadcasts of artists who, uh, 44:17 >> uh, their wives got married, uh, gave 44:20 birth. Then the father helps from 44:25 putting on diapers, bathing, reading 44:29 books, and all the things that are done 44:33 . Ah, all of this hopefully becomes 44:38 something that we really hope for in 44:40 the times to come. God willing, parents 44:46 hold the title of first and primary 44:49 educators, especially the father's role 44:53 during these first 1,000 days of life. 44:59 This is very important. Thus, hopefully 45:02 what we have shared is beneficial. 45:06 Amazing. We might not have thought to 45:12 do what we just heard. Yes, perhaps 45:15 because there is a WhatsApp message 45:17 here saying, "Oh, Ms. Nuneng, I'm just 45:19 hearing this now.""My three children 45:21 have already been born and are all in 45:23 school now.""Oh, I see." But what is 45:27 clear is, brothers and sisters, that 45:30 the 1,000 important days for a child 45:32 start from the womb, not after birth. 45:37 >> Hmm. 45:38 >> It’s called life. 45:40 >> Because inside the womb, there is 45:42 already life. Yes. Building 45:44 >> life. 45:45 >> Hmm, there is a question here without a 45:48 name. I am very interested in the bond 45:53 between the fetus in the womb and after 45:57 they are born until adulthood; it turns 46:00 out the voice of the parents is very 46:04 significant for the child. What about 46:10 when I heard earlier that everything 46:13 depends on what is heard? Is this 46:19 related to whether children's rudeness 46:22 is truly because their parents are rude 46:24 ? Yes, 46:28 >> thank you, Mother, for providing the 46:31 answer. 46:32 >> Hm. So, the way to detect if a child is 46:38 a victim of abuse is...first, they are 46:48 prone to anger, like blaming others, 46:52 being rude, making accusations, and 46:56 being envious. Moreover, there are 47:02 those who isolate themselves; those are 47:06 victims of sexual or psychological 47:09 abuse who have not yet received 47:16 counseling or gone through a 47:19 rehabilitation process to remove what 47:24 they once experienced. Ah, to know they 47:31 are still like that, they express it. 47:36 >> Heh. 47:37 >> And usually, that is subconscious. Just 47:42 imagine, is there any conscious person 47:44 who goes around angry? There is, Mother 47:48 . Well, they just get angry at everyone 47:51 ; they scold whoever is there. When 47:55 someone is angry, they are not 47:56 conscious. Now, let's look at that. 47:59 Look at our children whining and crying 48:02 . Just detect what happened when they 48:05 were in the womb, how a mother asked 48:07 her husband for something and it wasn't 48:10 fulfilled. Wow, that was recorded. For 48:13 that reason, I am writing a book that 48:18 is 1,000 pages thick. Almost 1,000 48:21 pages. 48:21 >> Amazing. And I have recorded it on my 48:26 YouTube channel, Layak TV, in a 48:29 playlist called "Course." In it, you 48:36 can understand a child holistically. If 48:39 Rasil Radio listeners want to delve 48:44 deeper into how to understand their 48:48 children, they can visit the Layak TV 48:53 channel. There are 17 out of 24 videos 48:58 there, God willing, if you follow them 49:00 —each video is indeed a bit long, 49:03 around 49:06 >> 30 to 40 minutes, even until I got 49:08 sleepy while recording, that's okay. 49:11 >> Okay. Yes, God willing, it will be 49:13 published soon, 49:14 >> the book. Alright, this is a question 49:17 from Mr. Damar in Bogor. What is the 49:20 best way to deal with a child who is 49:22 having a tantrum and getting angry in 49:24 public? Thank you. 49:26 >> Right, an interesting question from Mr. 49:29 Damar in Bogor. If our child is having 49:34 a tantrum, just let them be. We just 49:38 supervise. Don't let them, uh, 49:41 experience what? Things that could 49:46 later cause them harm. Let them finish. 49:51 Ah, after that 49:52 >> only then 49:53 >> only then do we start asking. Engage 49:56 them again. Understand that Dad now 50:01 wants to fulfill what you want. Uh-huh. 50:05 That shouldn't be done when their 50:07 energy is still at its peak, and we 50:10 keep 50:11 >> interrupting. Then this is interesting, 50:14 something not many dads and moms have 50:17 done yet. 50:21 >> If we are not, uh, willing to explain 50:24 to people around us in detail, we could 50:28 perhaps prepare a small poster. Write 50:32 that our child is, uh, having a tantrum 50:36 . For that, please understand. 50:39 >> And 50:40 >> now society has started to get 50:44 information when they see children, 50:48 whether at the airport, terminal, train 50:53 , bus, or airplane. That's why, uh, if 50:57 on a plane, Bunda Nuning, 50:59 >> yes 51:01 >> every time there is a child passenger 51:04 if we fly Garuda Indonesia, they are 51:06 immediately given a gift. That 51:10 >> is actually to distract, uh, the 51:13 children and they start to get happy. 51:16 Moreover 51:18 >> if we fly Garuda directly or now on 51:20 trains there are immediately videos, we 51:26 just have to choose if the child wants 51:28 to play games. Well, for that, parents 51:32 who have children who need supervision, 51:36 a very, uh, protective supervision or 51:39 safe protection, that is what we need 51:42 to do. Right. 51:45 >> While we visit. This is important, 51:47 Bunda Nuning. 51:49 >> In Bogor City, there is Puspaga, 51:52 >> the family learning center, and it is 51:55 already in every regency and city, 51:58 >> and it becomes an indicator for a 52:00 regency or city to be called 52:01 child-friendly. 52:02 >> Right. 52:03 >> It's free there; you will be served by 52:06 counselors and psychologists. 52:09 >> Use it. Okay, the next one could be the 52:14 last one, our time is very tight, from 52:16 Ibu Sarmila, uh Ibu Sarmila Nurvian, 52:21 right. She asks what form of punishment 52:26 or consequence is most appropriate 52:29 according to the child's age stage, of 52:32 course. Right, for child consequences, 52:39 it must start with a discussion with 52:43 the child to agree on something the 52:47 child will do. It must go through a 52:51 discussion. 52:52 >> Not immediate punishment, 52:53 >> not immediate. Once discussed 52:56 >> for example, before we leave the house 53:02 >> yes 53:03 >> what must be noted, so everything then 53:10 if the child fails to carry it out, it 53:13 means we need the child to know that 53:20 for their negligence there is a 53:22 consequence. Ah, for that, this is the 53:25 important part. Invite the child to 53:28 deliberate first. Meaning the fourth 53:30 principle is deliberation, discussion, 53:33 and then the result of the deliberation 53:36 . Okay, we agree on this, right? Agree 53:39 to that. But the start of that 53:46 agreement, the primary consequence is 53:48 not on the child, but on whom, Bunda? 53:53 On the adult who agreed with the child. 53:59 >> What is the first consequence? 54:03 Socializing the thing that was agreed 54:06 upon at least five times a day for 3 54:09 years. 54:11 >> Oh oh. Remind them of that. Because a 54:14 child's job is to forget. Look at us, 54:18 even as adults, when asked by our 54:20 mothers, we forget because we are still 54:22 seen as children by Mom. Well, our 54:25 mothers will remind us, right, moms at 54:27 home. So if we want to do something, 54:32 for example, give consequences for our 54:35 child's neglect, that punishment or the 54:39 application of consequences that the 54:42 child will receive is at 0.1%. The main 54:47 thing is the socialization from their 54:49 mother. Socialization means reminding 54:53 them, that is behavior change 54:55 communication, changing someone's 54:57 behavior through communication. Ah, now 55:02 our children have other unique traits. 55:06 They don't want to be reminded, just do 55:11 it. Parents have only two tasks, to 55:14 give good news and to give warnings. 55:19 Whether the child changes or not, that 55:22 is Allah's business, 55:25 >> not our business. Ah, that child 55:28 becomes important. Now, for that, when 55:33 we are going to apply consequences for 55:36 a child's neglect at 0.1%, they have to 55:39 be punished or they have to feel it. 55:43 That is, we as parents must possess 55:45 three forms of knowledge. Oh, three 55:48 forms of knowledge. The knowledge of a 55:50 police officer, to investigate, 55:53 >> then to prosecute, the knowledge of a 55:55 prosecutor. 55:57 >> Yes. Then to punish, the knowledge of a 55:59 judge. A judge, if they want to punish, 56:02 they ask first, 56:03 >> ask if there is evidence or expert 56:08 testimony. As a parent, you must take 56:11 this seriously, it's not a game. Then, 56:14 when passing judgment in the name of 56:17 God Almighty, you are declared guilty. 56:20 Well, that's it. Now, for that, it is a 56:23 bit heavy. So don't easily utter words 56:27 of punishment to our children 56:32 >> before we do what is expected by Surah 56:35 Al-Asr. By time, all people are in loss 56:40 , except those who always give good 56:43 news for the sake of kindness and 56:46 patience. Thus, hopefully today's 56:50 meeting discussing 56:53 >> very important things regarding the 56:55 father's role in 56:57 >> one thousand 56:59 >> the first one thousand days of life and 57:02 protecting their child for 33 months, 57:05 right. Yes. 57:08 >> 9 months in the womb, 24 months after 57:12 they are born. If in Singapore, it's 57:16 already 5 years. How many days are in 5 57:19 years? That's all, okay. 57:21 >> That might be what we can convey. We 57:25 hope what we have shared today gains 57:28 blessings from Allah, and we hope we 57:31 are all given light by Allah so that 57:33 those who are already gentle with our 57:36 children become even gentler toward 57:39 them. Thus. Wassalamu'alaikum 57:43 warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. 57:44 >> Wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullahi 57:46 wabarakatuh. Thank you, Dr. Hamid 57:49 Patilima, for the discussion regarding 57:52 the first 1000 days of our children's 57:54 lives. Yes, hopefully, brothers and 57:57 sisters. Because if a baby in the womb 58:01 can already hear the voice and words of 58:03 their father, it turns out talking to 58:05 the fetus is important, right. 58:08 Especially as it was said at the end, 58:10 be a cool police officer, prosecutor, 58:12 and judge. Thank you once again. 58:15 Billahi taufiq wal hidayah. 58:17 Wassalamu'alaikum warahmatullahi 58:19 wabarakatuh. 
