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0:16 Alhamdulillah wasalatu wasalam ala 0:18 rasulillah waa alalamualaikum 0:19 warahmatullahi wabarakatuh brothers and 0:21 sisters who are blessed by Allah 0:23 subhanahu wa taala how are you welcome 0:25 good morning have a good activity back 0:27 again with me isf in the reflection 0:29 event under the auspices of the Qur'an 0:31 with our first teacher Ustaz Husin bin 0:33 Hamid Alat. Assalamualaikum Ustaz. 0:35 Waalaikumsalam warahmatullahi 0:36 wabarakatuh. 0:37 Hopefully in good health yes Ustaz. 0:39 Insyaallah today there is a swimming 0:40 schedule, Ustaz? Insyaallah. 0:41 Hopefully hopefully. Insyaallah 0:44 hopefully yes. In the middle of the 0:46 month of Muharram, Ustaz, masyaallah ee 0:49 if we look at the moon last night, the 0:52 moon was in a perfect round state ee 0:56 indicating that we are in the middle of 0:58 the hijri month. Hopefully Allah saves 1:00 us in this month which is forbidden by 1:02 Allah subhanahu wa taala. Amen, O Lord 1:04 of the Worlds. And this morning we will 1:06 explore knowledge again, we will 1:08 increase our piety again, all brothers. 1:11 And ee we will answer questions from 1:14 all brothers. Please send your 1:17 questions at 0811999720 will be 1:22 answered live by Ustaz Husin. God 1:25 willing, we will answer questions one 1:27 by one after we open by reading the 1:29 ummul Quran surah al-Fatihah. Tafadul 1:32 Ustaz. 1:33 Auzubillahiminasyaitanirrajim. 1:39 Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. 1:45 Alhamdulillahiabbil alamin 1:51 arrahmanirrahim maiki yaumiddin iyyaka 2:00 na'budu wa iyyaka nasta 'ihdinasirathal 2:07 mustaqimathalladzina anamta Aiin. 2:25 Amen. Amen, O Lord of the Worlds. 2:27 Allahummarhamna bil Quran. Hopefully, 2:29 from the reading of the Qur'an, Allah 2:31 will open the doors of guidance and 2:33 mercy so that we gain knowledge and 2:35 determination to always be on the path 2:37 of Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala. Amen, O 2:40 Lord of the Worlds. Ustaz, in the midst 2:42 of this month of Muharram, there are so 2:45 many problems, Ustaz. There are so many 2:50 issues circulating. There are so many 2:53 challenges that we face as citizens of 2:55 Indonesia. Masyaallah. But thank God, 2:57 there is good news too, Ustaz. The 2:59 price of diesel has dropped. Even 3:00 though it is only a few rupiah, this is 3:03 news that we can be grateful for in the 3:07 midst of this trial. And sisters, we 3:10 will, God willing, read out the 3:12 questions from you all one by one. This 3:16 is a call from Ibu Nur, I apologize for 3:19 not answering it earlier. There is Ibu 3:22 Suyati, there is Karsem, there is Mama 3:25 Yusantin, there is from Ibu Fatma Dewi 3:28 and so on. For brothers once again who 3:31 want to ask, send your questions to 3:34 0811999 720 via WhatsApp message. First 3:42 , Ustaz, this is from a servant of 3:44 Allah Subhanahu wa taala in Bekasi. 3:46 Ustaz, my first child is getting 3:48 married. What provisions can I give 3:50 besides material things? Ustaz, I want 3:52 to give knowledge so that he, God 3:55 willing, will be sakinah, mawaddah, 3:58 warahmah in his household. Thank you. 4:01 Jazakumullah khairan jaza. 4:13 Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. 4:15 Alhamdulillahi rabbil alamin. Allahumma 4:21 sholli wasallim wabarik ala abdika wa 4:24 rasulika sayyidina Muhammadin wa alihi 4:28 wasahbihi wasallim. Subhanaka la ilma 4:33 lana illa ma alamtana innaka antal 4:36 alimul hakim. Wala haula wala quwwata 4:41 illa billahil aliyil adzim. Rabbana 4:44 zidna ilman wa alhikna bisolihin. Amma 4:47 ba'du. Brothers and sisters who are 4:49 blessed by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. 4:51 Peace be upon you, may Allah bless them 4:55 . Every couple who navigates married 5:04 life hopes to live in an atmosphere of 5:09 love and mercy that continues to grow 5:12 and flourish in their hearts. Feeling a 5:18 sense of peace that can help them 5:21 navigate the ocean of life with calm 5:24 and peace. But unfortunately, what a 5:30 shame, the path they take is not the 5:33 path that leads them to an atmosphere 5:35 of love and mercy. They forget Allah. 5:41 They think they can build their lives 5:44 in an atmosphere of love and mercy 5:46 their way. Allah says, "Wama tasyauna 5:51 illa yasyaallah." You are living this 5:55 life to achieve peace, tranquility in 5:59 this world and in the hereafter to 6:03 achieve success is not up to you. But 6:07 you must submit to the will of Allah 6:09 that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has 6:12 determined and outlined. If you follow 6:15 this path, you will be led to an 6:17 atmosphere filled with peace and 6:20 harmony, like the heavens and the earth 6:23 . Likewise, all our organs function 6:28 according to Allah's control and His 6:33 will. If our organs followed our will, 6:38 what would happen? If the heavens and 6:41 the earth followed the will of man, the 6:43 heavens and the earth would be 6:45 destroyed in an instant. But if we 6:48 follow Allah's will, we have so many 6:50 lessons to learn. How Allah, the Most 6:54 High, established the heavens and 6:56 placed the scales that maintain their 6:59 balance. Our earth was also determined 7:04 by Allah. Its position relative to the 7:09 sun, its speed, its rotation, and its 7:12 weight are all calculated to ensure its 7:15 position relative to the sun as it 7:18 orbits, does not shift out of balance. 7:23 If the earth were to move away from the 7:25 sun and escape its gravity, we can 7:29 imagine what would happen if it were to 7:32 move closer to the sun. What would 7:37 happen? The same goes for its weight. 7:41 Everything is perfectly calculated. 7:44 Everything is created by Allah in a 7:47 measured manner. As Allah says, " 7:52 Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Inna kulla 7:55 saiin khalaqahu biqadar." We have 7:58 created everything with a measure. So, 8:01 the law that Allah revealed as a guide 8:04 to life through his prophet is a law 8:07 that explains to us the levels of 8:14 Sharia law that will make us unite with 8:18 the career and laws that govern the 8:21 universe. So Allah reminds us that when 8:26 Allah sent down our grandparents, also 8:30 through our prophet, Allah said, " 8:33 Faimma ya'tatiannakum minni huda." When 8:37 my instructions reach you. Famanitaba 8:41 hudaya fala yadillu wq. Whoever follows 8:45 my guidance will not go astray and will 8:49 not suffer. He is the only ruler. He is 8:54 the one who sets the rules and laws. La 8:57 mubadila di kalalimatillah. There will 8:59 be no change to Allah's words. Because 9:03 apart from Allah, there are creatures 9:04 who are subject to Allah and his laws 9:06 and regulations. Then Allah Subhanahu 9:13 wa taala emphasized, waman a'ikri 9:16 fainna lahu maisan. So whoever turns 9:19 away and doesn't want to follow the 9:21 lesson guidance that I give him, go 9:23 ahead. Allah does not hinder. But he 9:26 will live in a stuffy, cramped and dark 9:29 atmosphere. So sakinah, mawaddah, and 9:32 mercy will be replaced by darkness, 9:35 exhaustion, and distress. So for those 9:39 who want to truly experience a 9:43 harmonious atmosphere, full of peace, 9:46 follow the rules that Allah has set. 9:50 You won't lose. Therefore, Allah gives 9:54 good news in Surah at-Talaq. Waman 9:58 yattaqillah 9:59 yaajalah 10:00 yaj'alahu makhraja. People who fear 10:03 Allah, Allah will always provide a way 10:06 out of difficulties and needs. Allah 10:10 will open a way out for him. Wararzuqhu 10:14 min haitsu la yahtasib. Allah will give 10:16 him sustenance from unexpected paths. 10:21 Some are obtained through effort, 10:23 others are obtained from Allah as the 10:27 fruit of piety according to one's needs 10:30 . Even Allah subhanahu wa taala is more 10:32 . Allah subhanahu wa taala akramul 10:34 akramin. So if we only depend on our 10:38 efforts, it is impossible for us to be 10:40 able to meet our needs. But the fruit 10:43 of piety will open the door to mercy 10:46 and gifts from Allah. Waman yatawakal 10:49 alallah fahua hasbuh. If a person 10:51 relies his life on Allah, follows His 10:55 guidance with complete surrender, then 10:58 this will suffice him from everything. 11:02 And the next verse, waman 11:04 yattaqillahajalah 11:05 yaj'alahu min amri yusro. Whoever fears 11:08 Allah, Allah will make all his affairs 11:12 easy. Then the next verse, waman 11:15 yattaqillah yukirhuatihi wim lahu waj. 11:18 If people fear Allah, their previous 11:21 sins will be erased. Allah will give 11:24 him a very big reward. So, what is 11:28 piety? Taqwa is a condition that grows 11:35 in our hearts which makes us always 11:37 conscious. Our hearts are truly full of 11:42 sensitivity towards the supervision of 11:45 Allah Subhanahu wa Taala. We are also 11:49 passionate, eager to get closer to 11:52 Allah's side, hold on to Him, then feel 11:55 worried and embarrassed when we do 11:58 actions that are not liked by Allah 12:01 Subhanahu wa Taala, which makes us 12:04 always do muraqabah and muhasabah: 12:07 monitoring our movements and also 12:10 muhasabah, doing calculations, 12:12 evaluating everything we do. When we 12:16 say we have committed a violation, we 12:18 immediately repent to Allah. When we do 12:22 good work that Allah approves of, we 12:25 thank Allah. The heart always watches 12:27 over Allah. In this life, you worship 12:35 Allah with all the activities of life. 12:38 It's as if you saw Allah. What does it 12:40 mean? Your heart always watches over 12:42 Allah. If you don't yet feel your heart 12:45 watching God, at least you feel 12:47 yourself being watched. So for our 12:50 mothers, if you want your children, as 12:52 well as mothers and their families to 12:55 live in an atmosphere of harmony, in an 12:58 atmosphere of sakinah, mawaddah and 13:00 mercy that can make us work together 13:03 well, fear Allah. He has the best 13:06 provision in the world and the best 13:08 provision for the hereafter. Wallahuam. 13:10 Masyaallah, Ustaz. This next question 13:13 seems to be related to Malilman's 13:17 marriage. Malilman from Asalamualaikum 13:21 Ustaz. What seems to be a pseudonym, 13:24 what should I do when my mother forbids 13:28 me from remarrying after almost 13 13:31 years of being a widow, saying I don't 13:34 want you to remarry. Just take care of 13:38 your child with me. Period. Thank you 13:40 in advance, Ustaz. Is 13:41 this a man asking, or a woman? A 13:43 woman, Ustaz. A widow, because. 13:47 Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. 13:49 Alhamdulillahi rabbil alamin. Allahumma 13:52 sholli ala Muhammadin wa alihi 13:54 wasahbihi wasallim. Answering your 13:57 question, Mother. As a woman or a man, 14:04 besides the need for food and drink, 14:07 she also needs a companion. When she 14:10 was young, she also needed the need to 14:13 channel what? Her biological desires in 14:18 a place that Allah Subhanahu wa taala 14:21 has permitted. This is the mother's 14:23 right. So, if you say you still feel 14:28 the need for a husband to accompany you 14:32 , someone who can help you carry out 14:36 your duties as a mother, say you have 14:40 several children and you find a pious 14:43 male companion. A pious man, 14:47 then in this case the parents cannot 14:49 prevent their children. Because this is 14:53 not related to the mother's rights, it 14:55 is related to their rights. For example 14:57 , don't go too far. For example, your 14:59 parents forbid you from eating and 15:02 drinking. If you eat and drink, your 15:05 parents do not approve. Do you think 15:08 that is true? 15:10 S 15:10 needs food to survive. Likewise, he 15:14 needs to drink. But parents say, "I am 15:15 not pleased if you eat and drink." In 15:18 this case, it is not related to a 15:21 child's obligation to be kind to his 15:25 parents. In the Quran, Allah does not 15:28 command children to obey their parents 15:31 absolutely. If our parents order us to 15:35 commit a sin, we should not obey. Even 15:38 so, Mom. If our parents say they are 15:42 present in court for a case, and the 15:44 judge asks for our testimony, we must 15:47 provide truthful testimony even if the 15:50 one who is wrong in this case is our 15:53 parents. As Allah says, ya 15:55 ayyuhalladzina amanu qu anfusakum wa 15:58 ahlikum 16:00 Allah subhanahu wa taala commands every 16:03 human being to do ihsan. To do ihsan. 16:08 Oh. Ihsana. Likewise, wabil walidaini 16:16 ihsana. It is obligatory. Whether he is 16:19 a believer or a non-Muslim. We are 16:22 obliged to treat him well and nobly. If 16:24 he orders us to do something wrong, do 16:25 not follow it. Waahakrika bima bihi 16:29 ilmun falauma. If both of them order us 16:34 to do things that have no basis in 16:37 truth, such as associating partners 16:40 with Allah or doing wrong deeds, do not 16:43 obey them but wasohibhuma fid dunya 16:46 ma'rufa. Associate with them in a good 16:48 way in this worldly life. Now, if you 16:52 still have needs, needs for your 16:58 husband, and your parents forbid you, 17:02 you could fall into sin. Even though 17:06 Allah shows you the path that Allah 17:07 subhanahu wa taala has permitted. Well, 17:10 if the husband who will accompany you 17:13 will be the best possible helper, a 17:15 companion who will lead you to the path 17:18 of Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala, will not 17:20 add to your burden, will not have a 17:23 negative effect on your children, and 17:25 you can also feel the atmosphere that 17:28 you create with your husband, you are 17:31 allowed to marry. But if the 17:33 prospective husband you choose, the 17:36 prospective husband who will enter your 17:38 household, ends up in a mess, the 17:41 relationship between you and your 17:43 children is not good, and your children 17:46 will also fall into bad things, then 17:48 you think 1000 times. 17:51 Don't let your choice, you ultimately 17:54 ruin your children. So, see if you find 17:58 a good man, a pious man, who will be a 18:01 good companion and parent to your 18:04 children and you feel the need for a 18:07 man, then take the path that is 18:09 permitted by Allah and stay away from 18:12 what is forbidden by Allah Subhanahu wa 18:15 ta'ala. 18:16 So, you tell your parents, 18:19 yes. Are you willing for me to fall 18:22 into sinful acts that bring shame to 18:26 the family? I am a woman who still 18:30 needs a man. So don't let me do things 18:34 that are forbidden by Allah. So I ask 18:37 for your blessing and hopefully with 18:40 your prayers, the husband who 18:42 accompanies me can be an additional 18:44 child for you, can be a father for my 18:47 children and can also keep me in the 18:50 good pleasure of Allah Subhanahu wa 18:52 Taala. So, consider carefully that the 18:56 man who is going to marry your mother 18:59 must really have the criteria, not just 19:03 as an ordinary husband, like 19:06 if a man marries a girl, but he is 19:08 ready to be a father to your mother's 19:11 children. If the mother's children are 19:13 still small, when they are adults, the 19:14 problem is different. Ready to be a 19:17 child, to be a father to children, what 19:20 will your mother also be? companion who 19:23 helps mothers in obeying Allah 19:25 Subhanahu wa taala. This is what we 19:27 hope for. Wallahuam. 19:29 Masha Allah. Mashallah, Ustaz. I hope 19:32 the answer is yes, Mother. Healthy ee 19:35 from Mrs. Vivi Lutfiyah. Asalamualaikum 19:37 warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Peace be 19:39 upon you. Peace be 19:40 upon you all. Oh, my question. A mother 19:44 gave a message to her only son, who was 19:47 not happy to sell his house. Now the 19:51 house is occupied by her grandson who 19:55 is unable to renovate the house. So 20:00 what is the question, ma'am? And he 20:02 wants to sell it. What is the question, 20:04 ma'am? Yes, I'm sorry. Please allow me. 20:07 Um, let's read another one first from 20:10 Mrs. Hani Huzaifah. Bismillah. 20:12 Alhamdulillah, I'm here to listen to 20:14 the AM 720 silaturahim. God willing, 20:16 Ustaz Husein Isa and the extended 20:19 family of Rasil are healthy and well. 20:22 Amen. Amen, yes, and all the family. 20:24 Thank you very much, ma'am. Masyaallah, 20:26 jazakumullah khairan jaza. So, uh, 20:29 usually, Ustaz, let's discuss the 20:32 previous question, Ustaz. Usually, is 20:36 this prohibition from parents due to 20:39 the mother's trauma regarding her 20:42 marriage? So, the child is prohibited 20:44 from getting married? e to just focus 20:46 on her grandchild or maybe there are 20:49 problems behind her that make this 20:51 mother ee mode of defense to protect 20:54 her child, her own biological child, 20:56 Ustaz. If that's the case, what then, 20:58 Ustaz? 20:59 Indeed, sometimes parents have long 21:01 considerations. For example, 21:04 ee she is worried that if she marries 21:07 again, it will not be good but 21:10 bad. 21:11 Yes. It could be because of previous 21:14 trauma, it could also be because people 21:16 talk 21:18 and tell how so and so when she 21:20 remarried, she fought with her children 21:22 , fought with her parents. Her husband 21:25 is irresponsible, her husband only 21:27 cares about himself, not at all willing 21:30 to consider the feelings of his wife or 21:32 the feelings of his children. There are 21:34 many incidents like this. Heeh. 21:36 Therefore, mothers in this case as 21:39 parents whose children are about to get 21:41 married need to carefully consider 21:45 our children's needs. Our children's 21:48 needs to be accompanied by a man who 21:51 becomes a husband. Because a woman 21:54 raising a child alone is not easy. H 21:58 but accompanied by an irresponsible 22:00 husband is also an even more difficult 22:02 situation. So mothers should also help 22:05 their children in choosing a candidate 22:08 who will accompany their children. If 22:12 you only cling to your feelings, to 22:14 your attitude based on what you've seen 22:17 or heard from others, you'll feel sorry 22:20 for your child. Especially if she 22:23 commits a sin, you'll be partly 22:25 responsible. So, you should consider 22:29 what's best for your child so she can 22:32 truly become a normal woman, channeling 22:36 her needs and longings for a man in a 22:40 halal way. But this won't negatively 22:44 impact her or her child. This is very 22:47 important. And I think there are many 22:50 good men among us. As long as we pray 22:53 and consult, God willing, we can find a 22:56 suitable partner, and we shouldn't 22:58 despair of Allah's mercy. Wasu 23:01 minuhillahul kafirun. And I feel that 23:06 istikharah, asking for guidance from 23:08 Allah, 23:09 is an incredibly beautiful path that 23:12 brings peace to the heart. I always do 23:15 istikharah in everything. Subhanallah. 23:18 Whatever we do after we do istikharah, 23:21 asking for guidance and choosing from 23:23 Allah, Allah will give us the best. He. 23:26 But if we follow our feelings or our 23:29 position as parents, as mothers or 23:31 fathers, we force our children, 23:34 ultimately our policies, because they 23:37 conflict with what is better, have even 23:40 worse consequences. So in this case, it 23:43 is necessary to consider various 23:46 aspects, but do not ignore 23:47 the needs of the child. The same goes 23:50 for boys. If he suddenly becomes 23:52 widowed 23:53 and then wants to remarry, parents help 23:56 the child to make a good choice. Don't 23:58 prevent him from marrying. 24:00 Yes. Yes, Ustaz. God willing. 24:03 Earlier, Mrs. Luthfi probably meant 24:06 that parents forbid selling the house 24:09 for various reasons. If the house is 24:12 sold but does not bring better results, 24:18 from having a house to being homeless. 24:21 That parental attitude is correct. 24:23 But this is also the case if the house 24:26 is an inheritance right. The right of 24:29 inheritance. Usually in the Quran, it 24:34 is stipulated that if a woman is 24:36 widowed, or a widow abandoned by her 24:39 husband, then this woman can live in 24:41 the house her husband left for one year 24:44 and cannot be evicted. 24:46 Oh. 24:48 Walladina yutauna minkumuna azwajan 24:52 wasatanwajih mataan ik. So it is 24:57 absolutely not permissible for children 24:59 to force their mother to sell the house 25:01 . It is her right to stay for 1 year. 25:05 But if she leaves of her own free will 25:08 before 1 year, fain khorjna fa junaha 25:11 alaikum fima fa'alna fi anfusihinna bil 25:14 maruf wallahu azizun hakim. If they 25:17 choose to leave, as long as she 25:19 fulfills her iddah obligation for 4 25:23 months and 10 days, then there is no 25:26 problem. 25:27 Now, if the children want to sell the 25:29 house and divide it among the 25:30 inheritance, that is their right. He. 25:33 Parents cannot say, "I don't want this 25:35 house sold." Because why? This concerns 25:37 the rights of others. 25:38 Rights. He. 25:39 Especially if there are children from 25:41 another mother, 25:42 H 25:43 only inherits the house. Yes. 25:45 So it must be sold, distributed, and 25:47 given to those who are entitled. 25:50 Parents cannot say no. 25:53 Well, later if it is sold, if it is 25:57 sold, then they buy another house. Say 26:03 they have a house on land in an 26:05 expensive area, they sell it, they 26:07 divide the inheritance, buy each house 26:09 for their children. Likewise, the 26:12 mother can choose to live alone with 26:14 the remaining inheritance of 26:16 approximately 1/per part of the 26:18 inheritance or she can join a child who 26:21 is close to her to serve her but it is 26:23 not permissible to obstruct other 26:25 people's inheritance rights at all. 26:28 No, you can't. So in this case, if yes, 26:32 it is best to sell the house because 26:35 the children need nothing at all to be 26:38 able to run their lives, their 26:41 businesses or they want a house. 26:44 Hey. 26:44 Each of them has 10 children. 26:47 They need a home. The house his parents 26:50 live in is expensive. Say it costs 10 26:52 billion. 26:53 Hey. 26:54 He can each buy a house worth R500 26:56 million each and also have capital. H. 26:59 Is that right? 27:00 Yes 27:01 So, the important thing is that we 27:03 follow Allah's rules and instructions 27:05 and God willing, Allah will give us the 27:07 best. Because whoever obeys Allah and 27:09 his messenger, has faith in him, they 27:12 are the successful and lucky people. 27:14 Waman yutiillaha warasula waaksyallaha 27:19 wattaqi faulaika humul faizun. 27:23 Whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger. 27:28 Then fear Allah and submit to Him. They 27:32 are successful people. 27:34 Masha Allah. Ustaz 27:37 questions. Continue with the 27:42 next question, Ustaz from Yeti 27:45 Setiawati. Asalamualaikum 27:46 warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, Mr Ustaz. 27:47 May 27:47 the peace, mercy, and blessings of 27:48 Allah be with you too. 27:49 Oh, this is related to the obligations 27:52 of a wife, Ustaz. Please allow me to 27:54 ask, Mr. Ustaz. Is it a sin for a wife 27:56 if a husband forbids his wife from 27:59 visiting her sibling's house? But the 28:02 wife did not obey him. Still, the visit 28:05 to my sister's house was carried out 28:07 for fear of breaking up the friendship. 28:12 Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. A woman is 28:16 obliged to obey her husband in matters 28:21 relating to the husband's rights. Obey 28:26 your husband in matters relating to 28:29 your husband's rights. He is obliged to 28:33 carry out his obligations. Likewise, a 28:37 husband is obligated to fulfill his 28:42 wife's obligations. So, if the husband 28:49 fulfills his wife's obligations, the 28:52 wife fulfills her husband's obligations 28:55 . If one of them is said to be weak and 28:59 unable to fulfill their obligations, 29:01 the husband tolerates them, and the 29:04 wife tolerates them, isn't that 29:06 beautiful? 29:07 Yes, it is 29:08 beautiful. Therefore, in addition to 29:10 justice, each carrying out their duties 29:12 and obligations, there is also ihsan. 29:16 When he sees his partner unable to 29:18 fulfill their obligations, he gives in. 29:21 For example, his wife is sick, his wife 29:24 is weak, or a husband who was 29:26 previously full of love and affection 29:29 fulfilling his obligations to his wife, 29:32 suddenly what? His husband is laid off. 29:37 But previously, he had always been kind 29:40 and noble to his wife. So in a 29:42 situation like this, a good wife can 29:45 understand her husband's inability to 29:48 provide for her, as in the previous 29:50 situation. 29:53 So in this case, each is obligated to 29:55 fulfill their obligations according to 29:58 their abilities to their partner. 30:01 Husband to his wife, wife to her 30:03 husband. 30:04 As for the right to maintain good 30:06 relations with one's mother and sisters 30:09 , as long as it doesn't lead to 30:12 anything that God forbids, or to 30:14 wrongdoing, that's her right. It's her 30:18 right. 30:18 Yes. Let's not take stories that have 30:22 no solid foundation. A man said to his 30:25 wife, "I'm going on a trip, and you 30:29 shouldn't leave the house." Suddenly, 30:33 his mother died. The wife didn't visit 30:36 her mother because she listened to her 30:38 husband's order not to leave the house. 30:41 Then, when news of this reached the 30:43 Prophet, he said that the parents were 30:45 forgiven because of the wife's 30:46 obedience to her husband. These are 30:50 actually stories that have no solid 30:53 foundation and are made up to pressure 30:57 a woman to obey her husband absolutely. 31:01 This is not true at all. If she had 31:04 fulfilled her obligations to her 31:07 husband, she had taken care of his 31:09 needs and his rights, then she would 31:12 say to her husband, "I want to visit my 31:14 sister." The obligation to maintain 31:17 good relations exists. And in this case 31:19 , I'm not neglecting my obligations to 31:22 my husband. I shouldn't go to social 31:24 gatherings here and there or even 31:25 religious study groups here and there 31:27 while neglecting my obligations to her 31:29 husband. This is not true. 31:30 Yes. But if she has fulfilled her 31:32 obligations to her husband, asked his 31:35 permission to visit her brother. Then 31:37 the husband forbids it, what is the 31:39 reason? 31:39 H 31:39 if the husband forbids it, because if 31:42 she goes there she will be in an 31:44 atmosphere that is not in accordance 31:46 with Allah's pleasure, that's a 31:48 different matter. 31:49 True. But if there are no such things, 31:53 yes, she wants to visit her brother or 31:56 say her parents or uncle, the husband 31:59 should not hinder his wife 32:02 with his position as a man. Arrijalu 32:05 qawamun alanisa. He. 32:07 Know that the word qawam in Arabic is 32:09 responsible and straightening, not 32:12 bending. 32:12 Yes. Yes. So the beauty of the word 32:15 qawwam is taken from the word qaim 32:17 upright in carrying out obligations and 32:20 straightening his wife so that she is 32:22 on the path that Allah Subhanahu wa 32:24 taala is pleased with and fulfills the 32:26 needs that are appropriate to be 32:28 fulfilled for his wife and family. So 32:30 preventing the wife from visiting or 32:34 visiting her family. Sometimes there 32:36 are even those who forbid visiting 32:39 their in-laws. Even the 32:41 husband's parents are forbidden because 32:43 they are upset with his mother. In this 32:46 case, it should not be obeyed at all. 32:48 She must give advice to her husband. 32:50 She must give advice 32:52 to her husband. Likewise, if a wife 32:54 wants to visit her sister, her husband 32:58 will block her, she must remind her 33:00 husband, "You should help me obey Allah 33:03 and maintain my relationship with my 33:06 family. Don't neglect my obligations to 33:10 my family because of marriage. You 33:13 should be my protector and helper 33:15 through marriage." The same goes for 33:18 wives. 33:18 If her husband doesn't visit his 33:21 parents, doesn't visit his siblings, or 33:24 ignores their requests for help, remind 33:26 him that you have obligations to your 33:29 mother and your siblings. Don't be a 33:32 hindrance. Isn't that 33:33 wonderful? 33:33 Yes, Ustaz. 33:34 Yes. 33:35 Masyaallah Ustaz. But often it's not a 33:37 state of sin or a state that is 33:40 disapproved of by Allah, Ustaz. 33:42 Sometimes it's a state where the 33:45 husband allows his wife to meet other 33:47 people, not just her sister, but maybe 33:50 her friends. Sometimes there are people 33:53 who, as the kids call them today, are 33:55 toxic, Ustaz. This means that their 33:57 words influence their partner's 33:59 feelings. Their words make their 34:02 partner look down on their husband, and 34:05 so on and so forth. In fact, it's 34:07 possible that these people's intentions 34:09 aren't to destroy a marriage. They're 34:11 simply venting about their own marriage 34:13 , but ultimately, they're raising 34:15 suspicions in other people's households 34:17 . So, when a husband forbids his wife 34:20 from meeting or gathering with such 34:23 people, is that part of the husband's 34:25 obligation, or should he just let it 34:28 happen? What should we do, Ustaz? 34:31 If his wife's visit to her brother's 34:34 house is poisoned by bad talk and 34:37 habits, then the man, as a friend who 34:41 corrects them, has the right to 34:44 intervene. 34:45 To avoid this, the husband can 34:47 accompany his wife. 34:48 Yes, that's right. 34:49 The husband can 34:50 accompany his wife. And more 34:52 importantly, the husband is obligated 34:55 to educate his wife to have immunity. 34:58 She 34:59 knows what's good and what's bad, 35:02 and can differentiate between them. 35:04 And don't talk about things you don't 35:07 understand. Don't listen to or entrust 35:11 your life to the words of others. Let's 35:13 build our lives on God's pleasure, on 35:17 the truth. And this is the path to 35:19 salvation for us. 35:21 Therefore, the husband needs to 35:23 accompany his wife. Let's say he visits 35:26 his in-laws, he respects them, he 35:27 treats them with dignity. The wife will 35:30 also learn to treat her husband's 35:32 parents with dignity. Then, towards the 35:36 in-laws, being kind and noble will also 35:39 lead to what? The 35:41 wife's family also respects the 35:43 husband's family. But if 35:46 the meeting becomes toxic, the husband 35:48 can invite his wife home. 35:50 Heeh. So, a husband doesn't just gather 35:53 in bed with his wife, but also 35:55 accompanies her in various matters. 35:59 Hunna libas lakum wa antum libasunahu. 36:02 As we say, men, if someone comes to a 36:05 religious teacher for consultation, try 36:08 to have someone accompany them during 36:11 the consultation. For example, if a 36:15 woman comes to us and sits down, what 36:17 does she want? To 36:19 confide in us. Oh, the confide in us 36:20 might be kept private so our wife can 36:22 see from a distance, or there's a woman 36:24 present. Because two people are the 36:25 third devil. 36:26 Yes, the 36:27 third devil. 36:28 So at least the wife's heart will be at 36:31 ease seeing her husband maintain 36:33 decency, and what will this become? To 36:36 be an example for him. But if her 36:38 husband violates something like 36:40 trivializing it, the wife will 36:42 trivialize it. Aya masadutan. A husband 36:46 will protect his wife's honor, God 36:48 willing, more so. Because it's clear 36:50 that he lives by his lusts, wandering 36:52 here and there seeking attention is 36:54 suffering. But if his wife pays 36:57 attention to him, why seek 36:59 entertainment outside? 37:01 Right. Right? 37:02 As long as the house is peaceful, the 37:04 atmosphere is full of love and mercy, 37:05 the husband wants to hurry home after 37:07 work. 37:07 Yes. 37:08 What about wives? They don't want to 37:09 wander outside. Social gatherings there 37:11 , social gatherings here. Then what? Ee 37:14 vent there, vent here. In the end, what 37:16 ? Small household problems become big 37:18 because of what? Because of careless 37:20 venting. 37:21 Yes. 37:22 Then all kinds of slander will emerge. 37:24 Therefore, men should treat their wives 37:26 with honor. Treat them with honor and 37:29 accompany their wives, what else? Treat 37:31 your husband with honor. Don't talk 37:34 about his bad points, spread his good 37:36 points. It will be a good motivator. 37:38 The same goes for husbands. Don't like 37:40 to talk about their wives' bad points. 37:41 It's 37:41 forbidden for them to talk about each 37:43 other's bad points. 37:44 Yes. Yes. Yes. Because as soon as we 37:46 talk about bad things, what happens 37:47 over time? Over time, 37:49 hatred arises. 37:51 Yes. It breeds hatred, it destroys 37:54 trust. Ultimately, our attitude 37:57 destroys the atmosphere of love and 37:58 peace, our sakinah blessings. 38:00 Yes. So, we really should maintain our 38:03 household qu anfusakum waikum with 38:06 practices that will make us live in a 38:08 harmonious atmosphere. And Allah knows 38:12 best. 38:12 Masyaallah. Ustaz, uh, you were right, 38:14 Ustaz, no matter how toxic the 38:16 environment is, if he has good immunity 38:18 , he will be able to withstand it. We 38:21 can't forbid our partner or anyone from 38:23 socializing with anyone. Even when he 38:26 doesn't socialize with anyone, he can 38:28 still be influenced by social media. 38:31 It's even 38:31 worse. 38:32 Especially 38:32 because not socializing makes him 38:33 easily influenced. I'm 38:34 right. But if there is that immunity 38:36 within oneself, whatever comes, God 38:38 willing, can be fortified. Just reduce 38:40 the portion, Ustaz. And support. 38:42 And support 38:43 because a wife is accompanied is a 38:45 source of pride, Ma'am. Okay, Ustaz. 38:49 Next, Ustaz ee this happens quite a lot 38:52 , it seems like this from the looks of 38:54 it, I'll just disguise his name, Ustaz. 38:57 Servant of Allah. Assalamualaikum 38:59 warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, Ustaz Husin 39:00 . 39:00 I, a servant of Allah, ask for guidance 39:02 for my child. There is still a feeling 39:05 of anger, annoyance, a feeling that 39:07 cannot be explained, my child said. 39:11 because he is angry with his father who 39:14 has separated due to domestic violence, 39:16 cheating and irresponsibility. And many 39:20 incidents were witnessed by the 39:22 children. My children are now grown up 39:24 but have not been able to forgive their 39:26 father. I am very sad, Ustaz. Afraid my 39:28 child will be disobedient. I myself 39:30 have accepted everything, Ustaz. Thank 39:32 you. How? Separated. Already separated. 39:34 Ee already separated. Then he saw his 39:37 child who has grown up still has a 39:38 grudge against his father. Because his 39:40 father used to have domestic violence 39:42 with his wife. Ustaz, thank you. 39:43 Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Rbana zidna 39:46 ilman walhiknain. There is no one 39:49 except that he will face trials. Trials 39:55 , whether within oneself, within one's 39:57 household, within one's community, or 40:00 in one's work. Or trials facing enemies 40:04 from outside, are natural. Because God 40:08 created the world as a testing ground. 40:12 As for the results, we will receive 40:14 them on the Day of Judgment. If someone 40:18 does something bad and then we do the 40:21 same, it means we are just as bad as 40:24 them. 40:26 If our parents, say our father, did 40:28 something wrong, do we do the same in 40:31 return? 40:32 Yes. 40:33 Then what is the difference between him 40:34 and us? Yes. 40:36 Therefore, a believer in any condition 40:40 remains in his faith. A 40:42 good person is better, a person who 40:45 behaves badly does not commit injustice 40:48 . Therefore, in a narration, even 40:51 though the condition contains a 40:53 question, but what is its meaning? In 40:57 accordance with the Qur'an. La takunu 41:01 immaah. Don't like to be slow. In 41:06 ahsananas ahsantum. If people are good 41:08 to you, you are also good to them. Wain 41:11 asau asatum. People do bad, you also 41:14 respond with bad. Walakin watidu 41:16 anfusakum. But be firm. In ahsananas 41:20 anuhsinu. If people are good, you do 41:22 even better. Wait for them if they do 41:25 anything bad to you. Don't do any harm. 41:29 So, if the father of domestic violence 41:31 was unkind to his wife and even cheated 41:33 on her, that's his responsibility, 41:35 right? 41:35 Hey. 41:36 Her responsibilities as a wife remind 41:39 her, her children also remind her. 41:42 However, parents 'attitudes should not 41:46 cause or evoke negative reactions that 41:49 conflict with a child's position in 41:52 front of their parents. He remains kind 41:57 to his parents, honors his parents. 41:59 What the parents do is their 42:01 responsibility before Allah Subhanahu 42:03 wa Taala. If he is still with his 42:07 mother, the child cannot allow his 42:09 parents to abuse his mother. 42:12 So if a mother wants to use her hands 42:14 to hit her mother or a husband to hit 42:16 her mother, the child here has to hope. 42:19 But don't take revenge against parents 42:21 who caused us to become disobedient 42:23 children. So, be a pious child who is 42:26 devoted to your parents because of 42:29 Allah. If our parents tell us to do 42:32 something wrong, don't obey. 42:34 But if he asks for our help, even if 42:36 the father is a domestic violence 42:38 perpetrator, he still has rights over 42:40 us, we give him help. If he asks for 42:43 help, we give him help. But if he 42:46 orders us to do something wrong, even 42:48 if he threatens, "I am not pleased with 42:50 you, don't do it." So the child's 42:53 attitude towards his parents doesn't 42:54 change. That is what Allah Subhanahu wa 42:56 ta'ala teaches. But it automatically 42:59 separates between obedience in the 43:01 pleasure of Allah and being asked to 43:04 obey parents in disobedience. In 43:07 disobedience, don't obey. So don't let 43:10 our children be carried away by hatred 43:12 and end up going off the path of 43:14 righteousness. W tattabiul hawa 43:17 fayakail hawa fudillakaillah. Don't 43:22 follow desires that bring you down. In 43:25 the end, you will go astray from the 43:27 path of Allah. So watch your behavior 43:29 and good, noble behavior can bring 43:32 guidance to your parents. Because the 43:36 human soul will always be close to 43:38 those who do good to it. Never mind 43:41 humans, 43:42 if we treat chickens or cats well, they 43:45 will always be spoiled by us, let alone 43:47 humans. 43:48 Right? 43:48 Right. 43:49 So jubilatin nufus, ya jubilatin nufus 43:54 an tuhibba man ahsana ilaiha. So the 43:58 human soul is indeed ingrained to love 44:02 those who do good to it. So do good to 44:06 your parents but for the pleasure of 44:08 Allah. And hopefully this will be a 44:11 lesson for us not to repeat our parents 44:13 ' actions to our children. 44:16 Because what we feel hurt from others, 44:20 our children will also feel hurt if we 44:23 do the same. Hopefully Allah will give 44:26 us guidance to remain in His pleasure 44:28 under any circumstances. 44:30 Amen. 44:31 This describes a child who is truly 44:33 faithful and pious. 44:35 Just 44:36 one more, Ustaz. Lastly, let's 44:38 try 44:39 from Mrs. Fani. Ustaz, the question is, 44:41 is it permissible in Islam for women to 44:44 have talents? Wasn't Siti Khadijah's 44:46 mother also a businesswoman or just 44:48 stayed at home serving the household 44:50 and waiting for her husband's gifts? 44:52 Thank you, Ustaz. Islam does not 44:56 prevent women from pursuing education 45:00 to have truly good, useful talents as 45:03 long as it does not sacrifice their 45:07 obligations as wives and mothers. 45:10 Hm. 45:11 To be a doctor, we need female 45:13 pediatricians, and female obstetricians 45:16 , most obstetricians should be women. 45:19 Women. 45:19 Except in serious cases. Perhaps women 45:22 should be the ones handling these 45:23 problems. Female dermatologists, in 45:26 addition to male dermatologists 45:28 treating men, should also not be 45:30 allowed to treat men. 45:31 Right? Because usually it's skin and 45:33 genitals. 45:33 Heeh. That's 45:34 not good in this matter. 45:36 We also need brilliant women. Brilliant 45:41 women who don't sacrifice their 45:43 position as what? As mothers and wives. 45:47 Likewise, as the daughter of the 45:48 Minister of Women's Affairs. Even the 45:51 Minister of Health can be a woman. 45:53 Witness how Miracle Angela, the German 45:57 constructor, truly, in a short period 46:00 of government, brought about very 46:03 significant changes in Germany. Even 46:06 the East was able to catch up with the 46:09 West in a short time. Since the Berlin 46:13 Wall was destroyed, East and West have 46:16 united. Witness how this woman works 46:19 well and is loved and respected. She 46:22 takes care of her own household, washes 46:24 her own clothes, folds her own clothes 46:26 without a maid. She also goes out with 46:29 honor, sits with honor, and works to 46:32 fulfill her obligations to the people. 46:35 Look at Queen Balqis, how she saved her 46:38 people by not following the advice of 46:40 her country's leaders to fight 46:43 alongside Solomon. In fact, for this 46:45 reason, she received guidance. But 46:48 remember, don't sacrifice our 46:50 obligations as wives, as mothers, and 46:53 as daughters. Because many women become 46:56 career women, forgetting their 46:58 obligations, also neglecting their 47:00 responsibilities to their husbands and 47:03 their children. This is a despicable 47:05 act. So women have the right to have 47:08 talents, work in offices, as long as it 47:12 doesn't in any way damage their 47:14 chastity. Because if in the office, 47:16 gathering with men, slapping here and 47:19 there, as we see, this is not good. 47:21 Then later there will be meetings, 47:23 reunions, everything where women and 47:26 men unite, gather. There is not just 47:29 one devil there. 47:30 Yes. But if husbands accompany them in 47:33 a good way, according to religious 47:35 rules, that is also part of da'wah. So 47:37 be careful not to sacrifice our 47:39 households because of chasing talents, 47:42 thinking that we as women are free to 47:44 do whatever we like, ultimately we 47:46 destroy our lives. Therefore, we 47:49 witness women in Iran working in 47:52 research and nuclear technology, but 47:56 their work is separate from men's. They 48:00 are honorable. Why can't we do the same 48:03 ? Don't criticize them, Shiites. Even 48:07 if they are called infidels, if they 48:09 can uphold the honor of women, we 48:11 respect them. Especially among Muslims. 48:14 But if we always close ourselves off 48:19 and don't open up to achieving progress 48:22 and glory, then we will live, God 48:24 willing, like frogs in a well or in a 48:26 well. We look up to the sky; what we 48:29 see from the well is the sky. Yet, the 48:32 universe is full of meaningful lessons. 48:35 So, accompany our daughters and our 48:37 wives in various activities that don't 48:39 hinder their progress, but don't damage 48:42 their households or their chastity. So, 48:44 if there are many female doctors, it 48:46 would be wonderful, wouldn't it? 48:52 Gynecologists, dermatologists, 48:53 physicians, and even the Minister of 48:55 Social Affairs could be the Minister of 48:56 Women's Affairs. They know better what 48:58 women need and can represent their 49:00 women. The important thing is to 49:03 maintain their chastity. They don't 49:06 violate any of the obligations that 49:08 Allah has made obligatory. The same 49:10 goes for men. Do not neglect your 49:13 obligations to your wife, children, and 49:15 those who are entitled to it, which is 49:17 forbidden by law. 49:19 Therefore, we hope that we Muslims can 49:22 truly engage in activities that are 49:24 acts of worship to Allah, not acts of 49:27 disobedience to Him, in all our 49:29 activities. May Allah grant us all His 49:33 guidance and assistance. 49:35 Subhanakallahum wamdik asadu alla 49:37 ilahailla anta astagfiruka wa atubu 49:39 ilaik walu minkum. Assalamualaikum 49:42 warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. And may 49:43 Allah bless us all. 49:45 Thank you, Ustaz, for your advice and 49:47 answers to our questions. Today we 49:49 discussed a lot about family 49:51 relationships. Because the most 49:53 important thing in determining a 49:55 person's piety and faith comes from 49:58 education in their household. May Allah 50:00 Subhanahu wa ta'ala protect our 50:01 families. May Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala 50:03 protect us. And may Allah Subhanahu wa 50:05 ta'ala strengthen us in walking on the 50:07 path of Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala. 50:08 Thank God for listening this far. Thank 50:11 you also Ondi and Mas Algi at the 50:13 operator desk. I am Isa Alkaf and all 50:15 of me on duty, please resign. 50:18 Asalamualaikum warahmatullahi 50:19 wabarakatuh. 
