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1:42 Rasil TV. 1:50 >> In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious 1:51 , the Most Merciful. All praise is due 1:53 to Allah, Lord of the worlds, for His 1:55 countless blessings. May peace and 1:57 blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad 1:59 and his family. Broadcasting from Jalan 2:02 Masjid Silaturahim number 36, 2:03 Kalimanggis, Jatisampurna, Bekasi. 2:05 Radio Silaturahim and Rasul TV, for the 2:08 one Islam. Peace be upon you, and 2:10 Allah's mercy and blessings. Brothers 2:11 and sisters who are blessed by Allah. 2:14 We are very happy this Tuesday morning 2:16 to be able to meet you again in the 2:18 program "Reflections under the Shade of 2:21 the Qur'an," edition: Family Psychology 2:23 . Praise be to Allah, for the October 2:27 13th edition. 2026, coinciding with the 2:32 second day of Jumadil Awal, 1448 Hijri. 2:37 Thankfully, our teachers are here in 2:39 the studio, Ustaz Husein and Ustaz Abu 2:41 Bakar Baraja. Peace be upon you, and 2:43 Allah's mercy and blessings, Ustaz. 2:44 >> And peace be upon you, and Allah's 2:45 mercy and blessings. 2:46 >> I hope you are both doing well and in 2:48 good health. 2:48 >> Praise be to Allah. 2:49 >> Alright, brothers and sisters. Let's 2:51 immediately begin our meeting by 2:53 reciting Surah Al-Fatihah, which will 2:55 be led by our teacher, Ustaz. We invite 2:58 you, Ustaz. 2:59 >> I seek refuge in Allah from the 3:01 accursed Satan. In the name of Allah, 3:05 the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. 3:10 >> All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the 3:12 worlds. The Most Gracious, the Most 3:16 Merciful. Master of the Day of Judgment 3:21 . 3:23 >> You alone we worship, and You alone we 3:26 ask for help. 3:29 >> Guide us to the straight path. The path 3:34 of those upon whom You have bestowed 3:37 favor, not of those who have evoked [ 3:39 Your] anger or of those who are astray. 3:48 >> Amen. Amen. Amen, O Lord of the worlds. 3:50 Brothers, may starting our meeting this 3:52 morning with Al-Fatihah bring Allah's 3:54 blessings upon us all. Amen. Amen, O 3:56 Lord of the worlds. Brothers. On this 3:59 occasion, we will discuss a video, 4:02 Ustaz. 4:04 >> That has been quite viral today. It’s 4:09 a video of a husband who went into a 4:13 rage, punching a glass cabinet until it 4:18 shattered, hitting his wife and child, 4:22 Ustaz. In a rented house. It's quite 4:24 viral, Ustaz. Perhaps brothers and 4:27 sisters at home have seen the video. If 4:30 not, the keywords "husband rages 4:34 gambling slot" will bring up many 4:37 videos, Ustaz. Now, this incident is 4:40 quite viral. Some say it happened in a 4:44 city in West Java, Ustaz, where the man 4:46 , the husband, unleashed his emotions. 4:50 Maybe the video can be played. If 4:52 you're on YouTube, the video can be 4:55 played. So, the husband unleashed his 4:59 emotions because he allegedly lost at 5:02 online gambling, slot gambling, Ustaz. 5:06 Because in the video, it is also said 5:10 that his wife is aware that the husband 5:13 always gambles online, Ustaz. He was 5:18 furious while grabbing his clothes, 5:21 acting very aggressive, Ustaz. While 5:25 punching and hitting the cupboard. One 5:27 of the cupboard doors had a mirror on 5:30 it, Ustaz. For those of you watching 5:33 Rasil TV, you might see the video. 5:38 >> Astaghfirullah, oh God. 5:39 >> The cupboard door with the glass 5:41 shattered. 5:42 >> So the shards of glass hit his wife and 5:44 child, Ustaz. There are even photos and 5:47 videos of the child. The child is 5:48 probably about one or two years old, 5:50 Ustaz. Still very small. 5:52 >> It hurts as well, Ustaz. Now, how do we 5:54 view something like this? 5:56 >> This is perhaps just a small part, 5:58 Ustaz, that has surfaced. Because this 6:01 gambling is 6:03 >> Indonesia has one of the largest 6:05 numbers and the consequence is the 6:10 household 6:10 >> using dogs 6:12 >> related to 6:13 >> where is the brain, where is the mind 6:15 >> so it’s not good, and then the 6:17 psychological side finally, especially 6:18 for the children and wife, it’s a 6:20 trauma that 6:21 >> surely won't heal in a short time, 6:24 Ustaz. 6:26 >> Now, there are many pros and cons, 6:28 especially in the environment of the 6:30 wife who posted it, Ustaz. Many of her 6:33 neighbors are actually pressuring the 6:36 wife to delete the video. Because this 6:39 might be a private family matter. She 6:42 is in a rented house, and some are even 6:45 threatening to evict her. Just imagine 6:48 how pressured that wife is. Now, on 6:51 this occasion, we would like to ask for 6:54 advice from Ustaz Husain Alatas and 6:56 also from the psychological perspective 6:58 , our psychologist, Ustaz Abu Bakar 7:00 Barajah. We invite you, Ustaz. 7:02 >> In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious 7:04 , the Most Merciful. All praise is due 7:06 to Allah, Lord of the worlds. All 7:09 praise to Allah who guided us to faith 7:13 and Islam and brought us out of 7:18 darkness into the light 7:21 >> by His permission, and made us from the 7:24 ummah of our Prophet Muhammad, who was 7:30 sent as a mercy to the worlds, may 7:32 Allah’s peace and blessings be upon 7:34 him and his pure family. O Allah, grant 7:48 us mercy and bestow upon us from 7:49 Yourself beneficial knowledge and 7:51 benefit us with what You have taught us 7:52 . To proceed. Brothers and sisters who 7:58 are blessed by Allah. May the peace, 8:01 mercy, and blessings of Allah be upon 8:03 you. 8:04 >> And may the peace, mercy, and blessings 8:06 of Allah be upon you too. Various kinds 8:10 of events, riots, destruction, disputes 8:18 within households, the loss of peace 8:21 and tranquility, whether in household 8:24 life, community life, or in the state. 8:29 All are caused by violations of what 8:32 has been forbidden by Allah. Not 8:35 following His guidance and instructions 8:37 . We claim to believe in Allah, but we 8:42 do not feel that faith in our lives. If 8:48 one believes in Allah, the Most 8:51 Gracious, the Most Merciful, how can a 8:53 believer not have mercy in their heart 8:56 for others? Those who believe that 9:00 Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala is 9:02 All-Hearing and All-Seeing. Are they 9:05 not ashamed to be seen by Allah 9:07 Subhanahu wa ta'ala doing bad deeds? 9:11 Are they not ashamed that Allah hears 9:13 inappropriate words? If he believes 9:18 that Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala is the 9:21 All-Wealthy and the Giver of wealth, 9:24 does he still seek wealth through 9:27 improper ways that ultimately bring bad 9:30 effects and consequences to his life? 9:35 Has Allah not forbidden gambling, and 9:37 also forbidden intoxicants, not because 9:40 Allah wants to restrict their lives? So 9:44 people should not assume that because 9:46 there are many prohibitions in the 9:48 Quran, Allah is narrowing their lives 9:51 or limiting their steps. Everything 9:54 that Allah forbids brings very bad 9:56 impacts. Allah says in verse 90 of 10:00 Surah Al-Ma'idah. Indeed, intoxicants, 10:04 gambling, stone altars, and divining 10:07 arrows are but defilement from the work 10:09 of Satan. So that you may be successful 10:15 . Indeed, Satan only wants to cause 10:18 among you animosity and hatred through 10:19 intoxicants and gambling and to avert 10:19 you from the remembrance of Allah. So 10:29 will you not desist? Allah explains, " 10:36 Indeed, khamr, intoxicants, as well as 10:41 gambling, and also Al-Azlam." Al-Azlam 10:47 is a type of betting done by several 10:51 people using blunt arrows to draw lots. 10:57 They say, making a camel or a cow the 10:59 stake for the drawing. Whoever draws 11:03 the empty arrow is the one obligated to 11:06 pay the wagered price. Whoever draws 11:09 the half-share takes half of the cow 11:11 without having to pay any costs. 11:13 >> H 11:15 >> Whoever draws the quarter-share gets 11:18 1/4 of the remaining cow or camel. 11:21 Meanwhile, those who draw the empty 11:23 share are the ones who must pay. This 11:26 is a type of betting performed by Arabs 11:29 in the past as entertainment and a part 11:32 of gambling. Allah asserts that " 11:35 innamal khamru wal maisiru wal anshobu 11:37 wal azlamu rijsun min amalisyaitan." 11:41 Indeed, liquor, gambling, as well as 11:45 anshab, offering sacrifices to pillars 11:49 considered as what? Places of sacrifice 11:53 that bring them good fortune. To keep 11:56 them away from various calamities and 11:58 disasters, just like offering their 12:01 children during the Jahiliyyah era. Yes 12:03 , likewise with those who offer food to 12:08 what? Trees to which they provide 12:10 offerings. All of this is a deviation. 12:13 All of this will eventually lead them 12:16 to be carried away by incorrect 12:18 understandings. Plunging themselves 12:22 into delusions that create suggestions 12:25 which will lead them into various 12:27 harmful speculations. So whether it is 12:33 khamr (liquor), gambling, or anshab, 12:36 the pillars of offering or sacrifice, 12:39 and also azlam, which is a part of 12:41 lotteries that smell of gambling. All 12:45 of that is "rijsun min amalisyaitan." 12:49 >> It is filth from the works of the devil 12:51 who wants to plunge us into what? Into 12:55 filth and the abyss of humiliation. " 12:59 Fajtanibu." Allah does not just say "do 13:02 not do it," but Allah reminds us to 13:04 distance ourselves from it. To 13:07 >> distance 13:08 >> ourselves from it. The command to 13:10 distance oneself is stronger than the 13:12 command not to perform an action. Like 13:15 "wala takrabuz zina," do not approach 13:17 adultery, is stronger than if Allah 13:19 said "do not commit adultery." 13:22 >> Because even approaching it is already 13:23 forbidden. 13:24 >> Yes. Likewise, liquor, gambling, and 13:28 the like are works of the devil. You 13:32 must distance yourselves from all that 13:34 because it will lead you to a state 13:36 that is truly what? Humiliating you, 13:41 degrading you, lowering your dignity, 13:44 and also ruining your behavior as we 13:47 encountered in one of our brothers 13:50 earlier, who fell into online gambling, 13:54 suffered losses, became stressed, came 13:57 home, and committed acts that truly 14:00 harmed his family. Alhamdulillah, the 14:05 effects of those actions are still 14:08 relatively minor, painful but not 14:10 leading to death. But this can happen 14:15 as a result of reckless actions that 14:17 bring about death. A man who loses his 14:21 mind because he lost in gambling or 14:24 because of liquor, when he forgets to 14:26 heed his wife's advice, anger arises 14:29 and he might commit murder against her. 14:34 Therefore, let us together obey Allah 14:36 Subhanahu wa ta'ala and return to Him. 14:40 Gambling is not a path that will bring 14:43 good fortune. Liquor is also not an 14:46 escape that will free us from the 14:49 problems we face. Let us return to 14:53 Allah, draw closer to His side, enter 14:55 into the embrace of His mercy, ask for 14:58 His guidance, and strive on the path 15:00 that Allah is pleased with. God will 15:03 open the doors of His mercy for us all. 15:08 The mistakes that have occurred are not 15:10 just the fault of individuals or 15:12 society, but go back to a government 15:14 that does not strictly oversee the 15:17 prevalence of online gambling. It is as 15:20 if it is being facilitated 15:22 >> with advertisements that are so rampant 15:24 . The government should take firm 15:28 action against those who pave the way 15:31 for such acts. Whether it is online 15:35 gambling, the sale of alcohol, or the 15:37 sale of drugs, and so on, which can 15:39 destroy our generation. But we witness 15:42 negligence, and it is even turned into 15:45 a project for those who enforce the law 15:48 to take advantage of these victims for 15:50 their own interests. We want the 15:55 government to act harshly, and this is 15:57 a trust that our government officials 15:59 will be held accountable for. If this 16:03 trust were placed upon a mountain, the 16:05 mountain would surely crumble into 16:07 pieces out of fear of God. But I am 16:10 amazed, humans apparently have souls 16:15 and hearts harder than mountains. 16:17 Accepting such a heavy trust, a great 16:20 responsibility in the hereafter later 16:22 on. Not a 10 or 20-year prison sentence 16:25 , not even an 80-year prison sentence, 16:28 but eternal suffering in the torment of 16:31 hellfire. Therefore, let us, if the 16:36 government or government officials do 16:39 not care about the children under their 16:42 care and supervision, the people must 16:45 care to improve the situation and fight 16:49 against those loan sharks who provide 16:52 loans with high interest. When they 16:56 come into the midst of society, they 16:57 cause disturbances. People collectively 17:00 drive such people away. People trapped 17:03 in online loans. People who are 17:06 sometimes weak and helpless to cover 17:08 their needs. But because their brothers 17:11 and sisters around them do not provide 17:13 help, do not give good advice, they 17:16 fall into speculation that endangers 17:18 themselves. Therefore, society must 17:22 unite against those who facilitate 17:25 destruction within society. Whether it 17:28 is online gambling or online loans, 17:30 they should be faced together, inviting 17:33 our brothers and sisters to repent from 17:35 such deeds. If we do not care, if we do 17:39 not love our brothers and sisters, what 17:42 happens to A today, could happen to B 17:44 tomorrow, it could happen to our own 17:46 families. We even find it within 17:49 families that come from the 17:53 environments of clerics and teachers 17:56 falling into the trap of online loans, 17:59 falling into the trap of online 18:01 gambling. Because they feel that making 18:03 a living is so difficult. Their parents 18:06 pay less attention to their children's 18:08 education and closeness. They study 18:11 religion. They even sometimes memorize 18:14 what? Memorizing the Qur'an. They also 18:16 memorize what? The Alfiah ibn Malik, 18:19 which is a tool for knowledge or the 18:21 foundation of linguistic knowledge. But 18:23 unfortunately, the religion is not 18:24 absorbed. There is a difference between 18:26 knowledge and faith. Knowledge can 18:31 become faith if it is absorbed, lived, 18:33 and one moves, takes steps, and adopts 18:35 an attitude according to their 18:37 knowledge. So, if someone knows that 18:41 Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is 18:43 All-Hearing and All-Seeing, but does 18:45 not feel ashamed to be seen by Allah 18:47 while doing inappropriate things, does 18:49 not feel ashamed to speak in ways that 18:51 should not be heard by Allah Ta'ala, 18:53 then this person does not yet have 18:55 faith. 18:57 >> He just knows that Allah is all-hearing 18:59 , all-seeing, but he has not yet 19:00 believed. If he knows Allah is the One 19:04 and Only God, with no partners, he 19:06 should turn his face completely to 19:08 Allah, worship Him, be grateful for His 19:11 blessings, follow His guidance, and not 19:13 worship anyone other than Allah 19:15 Subhanahu wa ta'ala. Not hoping from 19:18 anyone other than Allah either. When he 19:20 prays, he prays to Allah. When he seeks 19:22 refuge, he seeks refuge in Allah 19:24 Subhanahu wa ta'ala. When he takes 19:26 guidance, he takes it from the Lord who 19:29 created him. Not taking it from others. 19:33 But if he knows that Allah is the One 19:35 and Only God, even making it his 19:37 constant remembrance, yet his life is 19:38 not in line with what he knows, then he 19:40 just knows, he has not believed. His 19:44 knowledge will later become Allah's 19:46 proof to punish him because he is not 19:48 an ignorant person. 19:51 >> Therefore, let us, from the knowledge 19:53 we learn, truly do what? Prove it 19:57 through our attitudes and actions. So 20:01 that our lives are a manifestation of 20:02 our recognition and knowledge regarding 20:04 the greatness and majesty of Allah. 20:06 Allah. 20:07 >> Are we not convinced that our Lord is 20:09 most compassionate and merciful? 20:10 >> Oh Allah. 20:12 >> Many people live truly below the 20:13 poverty line in difficult circumstances 20:16 . Sometimes they don't even find food 20:19 for the day. But they trust in Allah. 20:24 They work, they strive until Allah 20:26 opens the doors of His mercy for them. 20:29 Before receiving ease from Allah, a 20:31 person must always go through a 20:33 struggle to truly feel the meaning of 20:36 the blessings that Allah gives. For 20:38 indeed, with hardship comes ease. 20:40 Verily, ease is with hardship. 20:43 >> I am reminded and amazed by a 20:45 Jahiliyyah poet before the Prophet was 20:47 sent. There was a poet and also a hero 20:52 among his people, namely Antarah ibn 20:55 Shaddad Al-Absi. In his poetry verses 21:01 he said, "Waqad abitu alwa wauhu hatta 21:04 an bihi karimal makali.""Sometimes I am 21:08 at night, yes,""unable to close my eyes 21:13 , enduring hunger.""I"" 21:15 >> endure hunger until I find honorable 21:18 food that I obtain from my own efforts. 21:22 " This is a Jahiliyyah poet. Even in 21:26 the era of Jahiliyyah, committing wrong 21:28 deeds was felt by humans to be 21:30 despicable. That is why it is called ' 21:32 mungkar'(evil) by Allah. Because every 21:34 person, whether a believer or not, sees 21:37 it the same way. All religions forbid 21:41 gambling, forbid alcohol, yes, forbid 21:45 adultery. These are all forbidden. 21:47 Because of what? Because these are 21:51 indeed actions that can ruin human life 21:53 , making people lose self-control. So 21:57 we hope that the incident that happened 22:00 in Bandung, where they say a father who 22:03 was an online gambler, could also be a 22:06 loan shark victim, no, he was the 22:08 perpetrator. Once he suffered a loss, 22:13 he returned home in a rage, hitting a 22:15 glass window, which resulted in glass 22:17 shards hitting his child. Imagine if it 22:21 had killed him, it would be even more 22:23 tragic. Therefore, I also remind myself 22:27 and the public. If we live in a society 22:31 but there is no bond between us to work 22:34 together and cooperate in virtuous 22:36 deeds, or cooperate in fighting what is 22:38 evil, what is the meaning of this 22:41 social life? We are like scattered sand 22:46 ; there should be no such disconnection 22:48 between us. Just as Allah taught, "wal 22:51 mukminun wal mukminat ba'duhum auliya." 22:54 The believers, both men and women, are 22:58 guardians/protectors to one another. 23:00 The wealthy, through their wealth, 23:02 should be guardians to the poor. 23:04 >> The strong, through their strength, 23:05 should be guardians to the weak. He 23:07 >> The knowledgeable, through their 23:08 knowledge, should be guardians to the 23:09 ignorant. Meanwhile, those entrusted 23:13 with positions of power are responsible 23:15 for the people, who are like children 23:17 they must protect, not sacrifice for 23:20 their own personal interests. Therefore 23:25 , let us work together to face vice and 23:28 evil so that none of our community 23:30 members or families fall victim to this 23:33 kind of disease. 23:35 >> Be firm, confront those debt collectors 23:38 who come. Likewise, for those who are 23:41 victims of online loans, pay the 23:43 principal, but do not pay the interest. 23:45 If they come bringing people or the 23:47 police, the community should face them 23:49 together. So, do not let these 23:53 criminals receive protection and 23:54 security while the people get no 23:56 protection or security at all. 24:00 Therefore, Allah is most truthful when 24:03 He commands us to do what is right, to 24:05 invite others to goodness and virtue, 24:08 and reminds us to avoid evil and warns 24:10 the ummah to keep themselves away from 24:13 sinful deeds. Because all of Allah's 24:17 commands are excellent and noble 24:19 guidance for us. While every 24:22 prohibition from Allah is a restriction 24:24 that will bring disaster upon us if we 24:27 violate it. Hopefully, Allah will grant 24:30 His mercy to the family undergoing this 24:33 trial, and also give guidance to the 24:35 husband. This act turns out to have 24:38 terrible and frightening consequences. 24:42 And there are many incidents like this, 24:44 but they do not have the chance to be 24:47 covered, or no one covers these events. 24:50 I. 24:51 >> And this must be handled wisely, by 24:53 working together, and we must also 24:56 demand that the authorities care for 24:58 their people before the final reckoning 25:01 and punishment come in the hereafter. 25:05 On that day, neither wealth, children, 25:07 family, nor position will be of any use 25:10 to them. Wallahu'alam (God knows best). 25:12 >> Alright, thank you Ustaz for your 25:14 advice, Ustaz. Yes, the issue, Ustaz, 25:17 is the government, in this case, the 25:19 TNI (Indonesian National Armed Forces), 25:22 specifically the TNI, Ustaz. A few days 25:25 ago, there was also viral news that a 25:27 TNI official residence was actually 25:29 rented out to become an online loan 25:31 headquarters. 25:34 >> Not far from Cibubur, Ustaz, over in 25:35 Cijantung. Perhaps you have also heard 25:37 that news, Ustaz. It is truly 25:39 heartbreaking, even though it is still 25:41 under investigation, Ustaz. Yes, 25:44 >> there will be TNI personnel involved. 25:45 >> There are TNI personnel involved. It is 25:47 really heartbreaking, Ustaz. Now, from 25:49 a psychological perspective, Mr. 25:51 Abubakar, let us look at the impact. 25:53 >> We hope that our TNI Commander, who we 25:56 know is good and religious, can step in 25:59 to truly—what? 26:01 >> Cleanse the "dirt" or bad elements 26:03 within the TNI. 26:05 >> Mashallah. 26:05 >> We pray that, because the Commander has 26:07 a great responsibility before Allah 26:08 Subhanahu wa ta'ala. Likewise for the 26:10 National Police Chief. I hear the 26:12 current Police Chief, Mr. Suyudi, is 26:14 quite good. We hope he can truly clean 26:18 up 26:20 >> the National Police institution from 26:22 wrongful acts so that he may eventually 26:24 return to Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala 26:28 >> as a noble person. Noble in this world, 26:32 noble in the hereafter, and leaving 26:35 behind a very noble legacy for the days 26:38 to come. 26:39 >> Mashallah. We can speak to criticize 26:42 the government, not to incite the 26:44 public, but we want this government— 26:46 which is used to being praised, 26:48 welcomed, and living in abundance, 26:50 opportunities, and profit—to not 26:52 forget that Allah is All-Seeing, Allah 26:54 is All-Hearing. Allah is not letting it 26:58 go, but is delaying, giving a chance. 27:02 If that chance is not appreciated, it 27:04 will turn into hardship or even a truly 27:06 terrifying disaster. 27:08 >> All right. Mashallah. Uh, Ustaz Abu 27:11 Bakar, after seeing that video of a 27:14 spouse or husband losing his temper and 27:17 raging because of losing at online 27:19 gambling, destroying items in the house 27:22 , Ustaz. That certainly creates a 27:25 psychological threat, of course, for 27:29 the wife and children, Ustaz. Now, how 27:32 about the long-term impact of the 27:35 trauma, Ustaz, 27:37 >> for the wife and children? Witnessing 27:39 this event right before their eyes, 27:41 Ustaz. Now, how do we restore a sense 27:44 of safety and recover from this trauma, 27:47 Ustaz? 27:48 >> Maybe this isn't just a one-time 27:50 incident that was recorded, right? How 27:53 so? Please, Ustaz. 27:56 >> Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. 27:59 Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi 28:02 >> wabarakatuh. 28:06 >> Alhamdulillah. All praise and gratitude 28:11 to Allah. When we are grateful to Allah 28:18 , we will receive various aspects of a 28:22 life that is safe and peaceful. When we 28:29 are grateful, we are convinced that 28:33 Allah will grant our various desires. 28:39 When we go through those calms, Allah 28:44 provides everything. Now, what we see 28:50 in this incident, there is one side 28:57 called consciousness and 28:59 unconsciousness. Conscious and 29:04 unconscious. So, at that moment, he has 29:10 a feeling of being unconscious. When he 29:20 strikes without thinking, without 29:23 realizing that it will have a negative 29:28 impact. 29:31 >> So he is unaware. When he is told, he 29:37 is not conscious. When he is 29:42 unconscious, even if we tell him or try 29:45 to explain, he just doesn't get it. So 29:52 it is his own unconsciousness that 29:55 creates this process. 29:58 >> H. 30:00 >> We must look at where that 30:03 unconsciousness arises from. Before he 30:09 gambled online, he had already started 30:13 thinking unconsciously. When he was 30:21 unconscious before playing online 30:23 gambling, he was already thinking 30:24 unconsciously 30:29 >> before. So this was before he played, 30:34 he was already unconscious. Now, before 30:38 that, when he did everything, where did 30:43 that unconsciousness come from? from 30:51 his actions, various stimulations come 30:55 in with various problems, having 31:02 desires. Those desires are good, but he 31:09 is not aware. He is not aware that he 31:14 is wrong. So his desires become wrong. 31:23 Those desires are good. The desire to 31:26 do good, the desire to act, the desire 31:28 to work, those desires, they are good 31:30 because there is consciousness. But it 31:35 is this unconsciousness that blocks his 31:40 thinking. It is this unconsciousness 31:46 that makes his emotions rise. So his 31:53 emotions increase. Why? Because he is 31:59 not aware of strange, extraordinary 32:05 behaviors. His emotions increase, they 32:11 go up. When he is given good advice, he 32:17 will get even more agitated. So this 32:24 unconsciousness influences his behavior 32:27 . What is the effect? If there happens 32:32 to be a cupboard in front of him, he 32:34 hits it. 32:35 >> Yeah. 32:37 >> Does he know whether he might hit his 32:40 child or not? Because he is not aware, 32:47 >> he hits with such anger. Is he aware 32:54 after that? He is still confused about 33:00 what he wants to do. He wants to do 33:02 something else. He is confused. He just 33:06 runs away, for example. Now, let's look 33:12 at this unconsciousness of his. Why? 33:19 Because of demands, because of desires. 33:24 desires like having A, having B, having 33:27 C, having a car, having, uh, food, 33:30 having lots of money, having everything 33:34 he thinks about. He thinks, 33:40 >> he doesn't say it, but his mind says, 33:42 wow, if it's like this, I must get this 33:43 much, oh, I must get this much. Oh, if 33:46 it's like this, I get this much. He 33:48 keeps thinking without ever looking at 33:54 reality. His actual condition is small, 34:00 but he feels big. His condition is 34:06 small, but he feels big. He feels he 34:10 has this, feels he has that. Where must 34:14 he get it from? A shortcut. Because 34:20 negative thoughts make his mind become 34:24 unconscious. Now, let's see how to fix 34:32 it. Yes, a wife should calmly try to 34:41 soothe him. Not get angry or do all 34:46 sorts of things, his emotions will rise 34:50 , but she must be calm. Calm. We say be 34:56 calm. Try to be calm first, lighten up 35:01 about what happened. Come on, let's sit 35:04 . Yes, I don't have this, don't have 35:08 that, don't have this. This is because 35:11 of online gambling, for this, let's 35:13 just stay calm. Calm. We tell the wife 35:19 to say calm, be calm. And that is what 35:27 creates a process where if an emotional 35:30 person is told to be calm, calm, calm, 35:34 they will become calm. Restore his 35:40 consciousness. After he has been told 35:45 to be calm, look at the reality. Try to 35:51 look. Oh. Do we show him what he hit 35:54 earlier? No. What we show him is, look 35:58 at the clock, look at the door, look at 36:02 this and so on, things we see that are 36:05 still good and still perfect. So when 36:12 he is unaware, we show him the door. 36:17 Try looking at the door, it's nice and 36:19 attractive, and look at your clothes, 36:21 they're nice and attractive. When he is 36:26 told, he stays silent, unable to say 36:29 anything. Then, by itself, it shifts 36:35 from unawareness to awareness. So, 36:41 shifting it to become aware. When he is 36:45 aware, that's when we remind him that 36:48 the action is not good, this action is 36:51 not right. Let's return, return again, 36:55 return again. But what about these 36:58 piling debts and so on? Surely Allah 37:02 will provide. Calm down, calm down, 37:04 calm down. So let's calm him down, 37:10 don't let's immediately make it viral. 37:15 That is what provokes emotions, making 37:18 things viral triggers emotions. Making 37:25 things viral, talking here and there, 37:28 makes his mind even more burdened. And 37:34 he will be embarrassed, never mind that 37:36 for now, that first. And convince him 37:41 that the action is not good. When he is 37:47 aware, we convince him. He becomes 37:51 aware when looking at the door, looking 37:53 at the window, looking at the bed, 37:55 looking at his child. Well, that's when 37:59 he will become aware. When he has 38:04 started speaking like that, he has 38:06 started to become aware. We remind him 38:10 that the action is not good. You should 38:14 do good deeds instead. Now, what about 38:18 those online loans and so on? We can't 38:21 pay anymore. God willing, later Allah 38:24 will provide. Be convinced that Allah 38:28 will provide. Return everything to 38:32 Allah. Be convinced that Allah will 38:36 provide; from that awareness, he will 38:39 open up, God willing. 38:42 >> Right, thank you Ustad Abu Bakar. So, 38:45 online gambling isn't just about 38:47 winning or losing money, is it? 38:49 >> That's right. 38:50 >> Ultimately, it can erode, as Ustad Abu 38:52 Bakar said earlier, our awareness, 38:54 >> our reason, 38:56 >> and also erode our emotional control, 38:58 right? Now, Ustad, from the perspective 39:02 of Sharia, as a husband, we are given a 39:05 great trust to provide a sense of 39:07 security to our family, children, and 39:09 wife. Not instead, in the end, giving a 39:13 sense of fear, Ustad. 39:14 >> Yes. 39:16 >> Giving deep trauma, Ustad. How is it, 39:18 Ustad, regarding this matter? Regarding 39:20 the great trust toward a husband as 39:22 explained by Abu Bakar earlier? People 39:27 can lose their reason and common sense 39:29 when performing acts despised by Allah, 39:31 such as gambling and also intoxicants. 39:35 Allah has already warned us, hasn't He, 39:37 "Innama...""...wal khamru..."(and 39:42 intoxicants to hinder you from 39:43 remembering Allah). "...antum." Indeed, 39:51 the devil's goal is to plunge you into 39:55 gambling and drinking. What is the 39:57 purpose? To create hostility and hatred 40:03 among yourselves, and to turn you away 40:09 from remembering Allah, so that all our 40:11 actions are no longer controlled by our 40:13 faith in Allah, but by the devil who 40:15 controls us. Plunging us deeper. 40:21 Ultimately, when we want to return, we 40:23 don't just experience difficulty, but 40:24 the opportunity has even been lost. 40:27 >> Lost. 40:28 >> We seek refuge in Allah. 40:28 >> Yes. We seek refuge in Allah. 40:31 >> Therefore, Kang Rizal, we should avoid 40:34 falling into these devilish acts, 40:36 gambling which promises quick profit, 40:39 perhaps because the burden of needs is 40:43 so great. Like being laid off. Many 40:47 people who are laid off fall into 40:49 gambling. Many young people also want 40:52 to look like what? 40:53 >> To look good among their friends. 40:55 Especially when he likes a woman, 40:58 >> wanting to get a profit quickly. 41:01 >> Some get trapped in selling drugs. 41:03 >> Yes. 41:04 >> Some also get trapped in, let's say, 41:07 online gambling. There are those who 41:11 are naive and use online loans just to 41:13 be rich for a day. Even though what? 41:16 Even though we just think, what matters 41:18 is now, tomorrow is a later problem. 41:22 >> And it sometimes involves their parents 41:24 , because whether they like it or not, 41:25 when a child cannot pay, or a wife is 41:27 involved and cannot pay, the husband 41:29 has to bear it. 41:30 >> Hm. 41:31 >> Until a big fight breaks out between 41:33 husband and wife because it turns out 41:35 the wife is deep in debt. Even though 41:38 he has already provided sufficient 41:39 support. But because she wants to shop 41:42 like her friends to show off her 41:43 prestige, what happens? 41:46 >> Falling into the devil's trap. 41:47 >> O Allah. 41:48 >> Therefore, we should really not fall 41:52 into the trap of an excessive lifestyle 41:56 . We should be like the Arab proverb 41:59 says, "Mudrijlak ala qadril hafah." 42:02 Stretch your legs according to the 42:04 length of your blanket. Don't you let 42:06 it what? exceed. 42:07 >> Okay. 42:08 >> This means we should adjust our needs 42:11 according to our capabilities. 42:14 >> We should really pay attention, 42:17 starting from income, needs, and then 42:19 remember Zakat, our obligation when we 42:22 are truly required to pay it. Then, 42:27 don't use the excess for euphoria or 42:29 hedonism. There is a tomorrow. There 42:34 are also people, perhaps from our 42:35 relatives, who need our extra money. 42:37 >> We live in this world as what? As a 42:40 field for planting seeds to reap the 42:43 rewards in the hereafter. But if we 42:46 live for this world, what does it 42:48 become? It becomes a very terrifying 42:51 trap and snare of the devil. Men can 42:55 lose their sense of responsibility 42:56 towards their wives. They start life 42:59 with full of love, warm and intimate 43:01 whispers. But once facing the reality 43:04 of household life, many trials are 43:07 encountered. If their hearts are not 43:10 connected to Allah, it is very easy to 43:12 fall into the devil's traps and his 43:14 tempting whispers. Meeting friends who 43:18 invite them to forget their sadness and 43:21 thoughts through drinks, through what? 43:24 Drugs. This happens to many children 43:28 >> at junior high school or even senior 43:29 high school age, they are already 43:30 trapped by drugs. When asked, why are 43:33 you stressed? Stressed. Parents say, " 43:37 What are you stressed about? Your 43:40 parents work hard to earn money, what 43:42 makes you stressed?" They don't know. 43:45 During puberty, hormonal changes occur; 43:47 often, children experience anxiety and 43:49 stress. 43:51 >> Parents need to approach their children 43:53 , providing guidance so they don't go 43:55 down the wrong path. Don't let them go 43:58 in the wrong direction during puberty 44:00 because they lack guidance. This is the 44:04 first step that eventually makes our 44:07 children dependent on bad deeds. 44:10 Eventually, they are unable to escape 44:12 their anxiety and use drugs. First, 44:15 they are lured by their peers to sell 44:17 drugs. It doesn't raise police 44:19 suspicion. You will have spending money 44:22 , have extra cash. You won't be 44:24 inferior compared to your friends. This 44:26 happens to people close to us. So, what 44:29 happened? He started selling drugs. It 44:32 turned out the profits 44:33 >> were incredibly large. He could buy 44:35 nice clothes, nice shoes, and even show 44:37 off among his friends like a wealthy 44:39 tycoon. 44:41 >> He could even proudly take his 44:42 girlfriend out to eat at quite 44:44 expensive restaurants, making beautiful 44:46 promises. When asked by his friend, " 44:48 What is your business?" I happen to 44:50 have investments with my parents and so 44:53 on. "Finally, the woman believed these 44:56 sweet words. She eventually accepted 44:59 him as her partner. Once they entered 45:01 into their new reality, they discovered 45:03 that all of this was just 45:05 >> a grand lie. 45:07 >> So, Kang Rizal, it is not enough to 45:09 just give advice so that our children 45:11 become responsible individuals, whether 45:13 men or women. 45:14 >> The closeness of parents 45:16 >> is important to make children close to 45:18 God. When they receive treatment filled 45:21 with mercy and love, what will happen 45:23 to their hearts? They will soften. And 45:27 they will also long to return to their 45:29 family quickly and will respectfully 45:31 listen to their parents 'advice. But 45:34 when love is lost, even the most 45:36 beautiful advice, like pearls and 45:38 diamonds, will not be accepted because 45:40 there is no what? 45:42 >> There is no mercy in their hearts. I 45:45 remember one day when I happened to be 45:47 with an Army Chief of Staff leaving to 45:50 perform the Hajj pilgrimage. There, we 45:55 met a famous Islamic scholar who was a 45:59 guide for Hezbollah in Lebanon. 46:02 As-Sayyid Muhammad Hussein Fadlallah, 46:05 >> who was a figure who truly advocated 46:08 for unity and always raised the flag of 46:12 Islam. Not the flag of 46:15 >> a sect, a group, or a faction. 46:18 >> He always reminded his followers to 46:21 truly unite in Islam and be full of 46:24 mercy and love. Let alone fellow 46:26 Muslims, especially their brothers from 46:29 the Ahlus-Sunnah, even toward people 46:31 outside of Islam, how people truly 46:33 appreciated and respected him. Why? His 46:36 hands were open to help anyone. His 46:39 tongue was clean, maintaining his honor 46:41 . He was invited to churches. He 46:44 conveyed how the Quran explains who the 46:46 Messiah, peace be upon him, is. It was 46:49 delivered as it is, 46:51 >> without any sugar-coating, but with 46:53 gentle language. So much so that they 46:56 were amazed when they heard how the 46:58 description of the Messiah, his mother, 47:00 and even his grandmother was so 47:01 beautiful in the Quran, which they had 47:03 never known before. So, I brought this 47:08 general to meet that person. While 47:12 sitting before him, the general said to 47:14 me," Try asking him,' Min aina nabda? ' 47:17 "" Where do we start? "I replied by 47:23 saying," Ibda' bi-fath qulub an-nas 47:28 qabla tafthul-uqul. "" Start by opening 47:31 people's hearts before you open their 47:34 >> minds. "When their hearts are open, and 47:38 they truly feel your gentleness, they 47:41 will open themselves to listen to what 47:45 you have to say. Therefore, do not hurt 47:50 them with words, unkind speech, and do 47:53 not start by touching anything that 47:56 they consider sacred. Start from things 48:02 that are agreed upon, good things, and 48:04 noble things. Then maintain the 48:08 gentleness of your words when conveying 48:11 what you have to say. Surely they will 48:14 open themselves up to listen to what 48:16 you are saying. Parents are the same. 48:21 Fathers and mothers who are close to 48:22 their children, who have time to be 48:24 with them, Subhanallah. Their children 48:27 outside are also in a guarded state. 48:29 Even when invited to stay up late by 48:31 their friends. No. Why? I do not want 48:34 to make my parents anxious. Even when 48:37 invited to commit wrongdoings. They say 48:40 ," I will not embarrass my parents. 48:43 Because whatever I do will surely be 48:44 linked to them. " 48:46 >> So, children, once they finish school, 48:48 want to go straight home. When they are 48:52 going to socialize with friends, they 48:53 tell their parents who they are. They 48:55 talk about it and explain it as it is, 48:57 without hiding anything. So between 49:00 parents and children, it is full of 49:01 transparency and honesty, so parents 49:03 can supervise the children and children 49:05 also protect their parents 'feelings. 49:09 So if we notice how this parental 49:11 closeness is important, it is currently 49:14 mostly lost among us because of each 49:16 person's busyness with material things, 49:19 gadgets, and various forms of 49:21 entertainment. Therefore, parents 49:25 should be patient, starting from when 49:27 the children are small with all their 49:29 mischief, patient in facing them; they 49:31 will reap the rewards later, which will 49:33 be truly sweet and beautiful, until the 49:35 children compete to take care of their 49:37 parents. 49:38 >> One says," Live at my house. "The other 49:41 says," No, live at my house. "Even 49:44 regarding support, one says," I will 49:46 bear all of our parents' living 49:48 expenses. "The other replies," I cannot 49:49 allow that. " 49:50 >> Huh." 49:51 >> We must share in this goodness. "So if 49:53 you see how children compete to make 49:55 their parents happy. 50:00 >> But nowadays, if parents stay the night 50:02 at their child's house, the wife makes 50:04 a sour face, and the husband becomes 50:06 uneasy. Finally, he asks his other 50:08 siblings to take their parents. H. 50:11 >> The same thing happens at their place, 50:13 asking others to take the parents. 50:16 >> It is different from what we feel for 50:19 those who are truly close, intimate, 50:21 and provide guidance to their children. 50:24 >> Masyaallah. 50:26 >> There was a certain Kang Rizal, a 50:28 person. Three people. There are three 50:33 of them. H. 50:36 >> All three of them lived in a state that 50:38 was initially difficult and they had 50:39 nothing. Some graduated from an 50:44 orphanage, H. 50:46 >> Some graduated from community education 50:48 , just as it was. Their parents were in 50:50 difficult circumstances. Subhanallah. 50:52 All three worked, starting their jobs 50:54 on ships. Allah gave them blessings 50:58 because of their love for their parents 51:00 , their devotion to their parents, 51:01 Allah blessed them. Going from one 51:04 country to another, they would buy 51:06 goods and sell them in the other 51:07 countries they visited. Until returning 51:10 to the homeland, they brought goods to 51:11 be sold. While other people only 51:13 received their salary. Whereas they, 51:14 every time they moved from place to 51:16 place, bought goods that could be sold 51:18 elsewhere. In the blink of an eye, 51:21 Allah allowed all three of them to quit 51:24 their jobs on the ship, become 51:25 entrepreneurs, and eventually become 51:28 well-known figures. And all three of 51:30 them are children who are very devoted 51:33 to their parents. 51:34 >> Oh, masha'Allah. 51:35 >> Whatever their mother asks for is never 51:37 refused. Give this to so-and-so, give 51:39 this to so-and-so, give it. Not refused 51:42 for even a split second. Allah granted 51:44 these three children the status of 51:46 entrepreneurs. Even their own children 51:48 were raised to be obedient to their 51:50 parents. Why? Because the father set a 51:52 very beautiful and good example. 51:56 >> This is a very beautiful form of 51:57 education. So much so that their wives 51:58 also respect their parents. Why? 52:00 Because they say," You can make 52:02 mistakes toward me. "" I " 52:04 >> might get angry. But remember, do not 52:07 behave poorly in front of my parents. 52:10 If you do that, then the bond between 52:13 us is severed. But as long as you treat 52:17 our parents well, I can accept your 52:19 shortcomings. So the wives, seeing the 52:22 children's devotion to their parents, 52:24 also respected them. Not like now, 52:28 speaking harshly to in-laws without the 52:30 slightest bit of shame. 52:33 >> And the man also respects the woman's 52:35 parents, honors them, and appreciates 52:38 them. Until these two families truly 52:42 learned how to understand etiquette in 52:44 treating those who have contributed 52:48 >> and done good deeds for them. Because 52:50 our in-laws gifted us their child 52:52 without asking for anything in return. 52:54 Yes. 52:55 >> If the wife we marry is a good wife, we 52:58 must value her parents and respect them 53:00 . Like a man who, seeing his wife's 53:04 elderly parents with no one to care for 53:07 them, asked his wife to have them live 53:10 in their home. 53:12 >> Yes. 53:13 >> He took care of his in-laws as if they 53:14 were his own parents. Then people 53:17 wondered, why? He said, parents who 53:20 raise their child to be a good, 53:22 righteous, and responsible woman truly 53:25 deserve to be appreciated and respected 53:28 . But unfortunately, it is a great 53:30 shame that this beauty has mostly 53:32 vanished 53:32 >> amidst the tide of materialism. Not to 53:35 mention what consumes our children's 53:37 time. La haula wala quwwata illa billah 53:39 . Added to that are the diseases of 53:41 online gambling 53:43 >> and online loans that offer such easy 53:46 terms. But at what cost? Terrifying 53:49 traps. Let us improve our lifestyle. Do 53:52 not be excessive. Do not buy things we 53:54 cannot afford. 53:56 >> Hopefully, Allah will bless all of our 53:59 lives. Amin ya rabbal alamin. 54:00 >> Amin. 54:00 >> Amin. Amin ya rabbal alamin. Ustaz Ab 54:02 Bakar, you have the closing. Please, 54:04 keep it brief. 54:06 >> Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. So, we know 54:12 that having desires without considering 54:17 what we possess. Having desires without 54:24 paying attention to what we own will 54:28 lead to misery. So we must measure our 54:36 desires, see what we own and what we 54:41 have, so that it will improve. If we 54:47 desire to buy a plane but don't have 54:50 the means, such great desires will 54:53 ultimately make us miserable. Just 54:55 thoughts. Well, this overthinking is 55:00 what causes various events to happen. 55:07 So, desires, needs, and behaviors all 55:11 fall into what is called overthinking. 55:17 When overthinking kicks in, one might 55:19 just sit still. But their mind has 55:23 already reached Surabaya, Malang, and 55:26 even Kalimantan. 55:29 >> Their mind goes everywhere because they 55:32 aren't looking at reality, but they are 55:35 overthinking. So, let's avoid 55:41 overthinking by looking at reality. God 55:47 willing. Alright. 55:48 >> Hitting the siblings 'days. 55:50 >> Yeah. Loss of focus. 55:51 >> Yes, loss of focus. 55:53 >> Amazing. 55:54 >> Alright, Ustaz Husein. Ustaz Abu Bakar, 55:56 due to limited time, it seems we have 55:58 reached the end of the final segment. 56:01 Ustaz, was what was conveyed brief or 56:03 enough? Enough, right. Alright, 56:04 brothers and sisters who are blessed by 56:06 Allah. May the trials and calamities 56:09 that befell our brothers in this viral 56:13 video make us all aware to stay away 56:16 from things that ensnare us. making her 56:19 husband aware. God willing. 56:21 >> making her husband aware, God willing. 56:22 Hopefully, we can all take a lesson 56:25 from that event. I am Rizal Haq, along 56:28 with the team on duty, Kang Algi and 56:31 the interns, signing off. Glory be to 56:33 You, O Allah, and with Your praise, I 56:34 bear witness that there is no god but 56:35 You, I seek Your forgiveness, and may 56:36 Allah grant success and guidance. Peace 56:37 be upon you, and Allah's mercy and 56:39 blessings. 
