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0:00 In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious 0:01 , the Most Merciful. All praise is due 0:02 to Allah, Lord of the worlds. Praise 0:03 that is abundant, good, and blessed, as 0:04 our Lord loves and is pleased with. O 0:06 Allah, send prayers, peace, and 0:07 blessings upon our master Muhammad and 0:08 upon the family of our master Muhammad. 0:10 Whatever Allah wills happens, and 0:11 whatever He does not will, does not 0:12 happen. There is no power and no 0:13 strength except with Allah, the Exalted 0:15 , the Almighty. Still broadcasting from 0:18 Jalan Masjid Silaturahim number 36, 0:20 Kalimbanggis, Cibubur, Bekasi. Radio 0:23 Silaturahim and also Rasil TV, for the 0:25 one Islam. Peace be upon you, and 0:27 Allah's mercy and blessings. Brothers 0:28 and sisters in Allah. 0:29 Peace be upon you, and Allah's mercy. 0:30 It is a pleasure this morning, Tuesday 0:34 morning, to meet with our brothers and 0:37 sisters in the program "Reflection 0:40 Under the Shade of the Quran," family 0:43 psychology edition, for Tuesday, 0:45 September 22, 2026, coinciding with 10 0:49 Rabiul Akhir 1448 Hijriah. Brothers and 0:52 sisters, we pray this morning that you 0:54 are all in good condition, always 0:55 healthy, and always under the 0:57 protection of Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala 0:58 . Praise be to Allah, our teachers, 1:01 Ustaz Husein Alatas and Ustaz Abu Bakar 1:02 Baraja, are present in the studio. 1:04 Peace be upon you, and Allah's mercy 1:05 and blessings. 1:05 Peace be upon you. 1:06 Peace be upon you, and Allah's mercy. 1:09 Alright, as usual, let us open this 1:10 program and gathering for blessings 1:12 with the recitation of Surah Al-Fatihah 1:14 . We invite you, Ustaz. I seek refuge 1:19 in Allah from the accursed Satan. 1:24 In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious 1:25 , the Most Merciful. 1:30 All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the 1:32 worlds. 1:36 The Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. 1:40 Master of the Day of Judgment. You 1:44 alone we worship, and You alone we ask 1:47 for help. 1:50 Guide us to the straight path. 1:55 The path of those upon whom You have 1:57 bestowed favor. 2:00 Not of those who have evoked Your anger 2:02 , nor of those who are astray. Amen. 2:12 Amen. Amen, O Lord of the worlds. Next, 2:15 I will read one case that has been sent 2:18 to the editorial office of Radio 2:21 Silaturahim. This was sent by a mother 2:26 in Jakarta. Peace be upon you, and 2:28 Allah's mercy and blessings. Ustaz 2:30 Husein and Ustaz Abu Bakar Baraja. We, 2:33 the parents, are facing an issue with 2:36 our son who is going astray. From 2:41 junior high to high school, it was 2:43 visible; now he is in his 3rd year of 2:45 high school and his behavior has been 2:47 discovered. He likes the same sex. When 2:53 I opened the door, it was locked, and I 2:56 became suspicious. Then I asked for it 3:00 to be opened. But it took a long time, 3:04 Ustaz, for it to be opened. Once it was 3:08 open, inside I saw his friend lying 3:11 down, and I wondered why he was lying 3:13 there. And my son just stayed silent. 3:16 At that moment, I asked what they were 3:18 doing in this room. They were silent. 3:21 And mute. We are worried he is doing 3:24 something wrong. Finally, I told my 3:27 husband, "My husband wanted to get 3:30 angry, Ustaz. But I calmed him down. 3:32 Finally, my husband agreed. Until now, 3:35 it has been 1 week, and we have not 3:37 asked again, Ustaz. What should I do, 3:41 and what should we do to them? Ustaz, 3:44 please give us guidance." Now, these 3:47 teenage years are a crucial phase for 3:50 children, aren't they? Meanwhile, 3:53 exposure to social media makes parents 3:56 very anxious, Ustaz. For a case like 3:58 this, Ustaz. What should be done, Ustaz 4:00 ? 4:01 In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious 4:02 , the Most Merciful. All praise is due 4:05 to Allah, Lord of the worlds. All 4:11 praise to Allah who has guided us to 4:13 faith and Islam. And made us from the 4:18 nation of our Prophet Muhammad, who is 4:21 a mercy to the worlds. And upon his 4:25 family. And his noble companions and 4:30 their followers until the end. 4:35 Following their path. Glory be to You, 4:40 we have no knowledge except what You 4:42 have taught us, indeed You are the 4:43 All-Knowing, the All-Wise, Allah. 4:54 Praise be to the light. And guide us to 4:59 the straight path. Next, brothers and 5:05 sisters who are blessed by Allah 5:06 subhanahu wa ta'ala. May the peace, 5:09 mercy, and blessings of Allah be upon 5:11 you. And may the peace, mercy, and 5:13 blessings of Allah be upon you too. 5:14 This morning we are facing a case that 5:20 has begun to spread and become an 5:23 epidemic among the people of Indonesia. 5:33 And this is a disease that must truly 5:38 be informed. Told to every young person 5:44 , 5:45 masha'Allah, 5:46 to every parent, 5:49 so that they realize this is not 5:52 something normal but is a disease. 5:57 Therefore, when facing cases where a 6:01 man is inclined to also like men, or a 6:05 woman likes women, or a man, besides 6:09 having relations with men, also has 6:13 relations with women, he has children, 6:19 so at a glance he is like a person who 6:21 is 6:21 normal, 6:22 normal, even though he 6:24 does 6:24 have relations with men and also has 6:26 relations with women. Now, if parents 6:33 find their child showing signs toward 6:36 this or already doing it, then the 6:39 parents must truly be aware in facing 6:44 this child, they must be like a doctor 6:47 treating their patient. They must 6:51 explain to their child in a good way 6:54 that this is a disease, this is a major 6:57 sin that will plunge a person, wal 6:59 iyadubillah, into the wrath of Allah 7:02 and His eternal and everlasting torment 7:05 . 7:08 Getting angry will be useless. In fact, 7:10 getting angry in front of someone who 7:13 is completely forgetful, swept away by 7:16 their desires, will push them to close 7:19 themselves off, and they will even try 7:21 to distance themselves. Is our anger 7:25 considered what? It is actually a 7:28 trigger for them to commit the act, yes 7:31 , with what, even more vulgarly. 7:40 Because at that moment, besides being 7:43 controlled by lust, they do not realize 7:46 that this is a truly, truly major sin. 7:52 This is an abnormal act. Therefore, 7:55 parents here must try to call their 7:57 child for a heart-to-heart talk, giving 8:02 advice, giving input: "It is a major 8:04 sin that can make you fall into the 8:06 wrath of Allah and remain eternally in 8:08 the torment of hellfire, and it also 8:09 invites punishment in this worldly life 8:11 like what happened to the people of 8:13 Sodom." Give advice to him so that he 8:18 truly has the awareness and the spirit 8:21 to change. And it is impossible for him 8:24 to change immediately. It takes time to 8:27 what? To truly push himself with full 8:30 patience to leave that habit behind. 8:35 And remember that this disease is not 8:38 something impossible to eliminate. Just 8:43 like a smoker, if they have the 8:44 determination, the awareness to stop, 8:46 they can stop even though it is quite 8:48 difficult. So, for anyone addicted to 8:53 something that is not part of their 8:55 nature, which is not part of their 8:58 natural constitution, they can leave it 9:01 . Therefore, besides parents giving 9:06 advice from the heart, full of love for 9:09 their child, inviting them to reflect, 9:12 to think, while giving encouragement so 9:15 that they leave the act and return to 9:17 being a normal human being. And besides 9:22 that, he invites wise people who will 9:24 not go around telling stories to others 9:25 . So, parents, do not ever tell anyone 9:30 else, but instead invite wise people 9:33 who can keep secrets to give good 9:35 advice, provide guidance, and encourage 9:38 the child to return to Allah and 9:40 establish prayer. If their heart is 9:44 truly connected to Allah and they enjoy 9:46 and internalize their prayer, and are 9:49 invited to think clearly and openly, 9:51 God willing, there is hope for this 9:53 child to change. But anger and violence 9:57 will not change them. Instead, they 10:00 will defend that habit even more 10:02 strongly. So, situations like this must 10:07 truly be monitored from an early age. 10:12 We should not only monitor our 10:14 daughters 'social circles, but our sons 10:16 ' as well. 10:18 Therefore, the Prophet reminded us that 10:20 at the age of 10, children must have 10:22 their beds separated. Not just boys 10:26 from girls, but also boys from other 10:28 boys. 10:28 10 years. 10:29 Often, children in their rooms might 10:32 engage in touching or other similar 10:35 activities. It is considered just 10:37 playing around, right? 10:39 Sleeping together while wearing 10:40 revealing clothes. Now, when their 10:44 desires start to ignite with the 10:46 arrival of puberty toward the opposite 10:51 sex, over time, because they lack the 10:53 courage to approach the opposite sex, 10:56 uh 10:57 they end up doing it with their friends 10:59 . Especially since we know that 11:03 pornography is not something difficult 11:05 to obtain. A 7 or 8-year-old child can 11:09 access it. Simply by using voice search 11:13 to request content from Google. 11:14 Yes. 11:15 Google doesn't know, does it? Or 11:18 perhaps they ask YouTube. They do not 11:21 distinguish between small children and 11:23 adults. They do not even care whether 11:26 an adult or a child is consuming it. 11:28 What matters is that they offer the 11:30 service. Now, when they watch these 11:34 things, over time, God forbid, their 11:37 desires begin to explode. Without any 11:41 outlet, they eventually engage in 11:44 activities with their friends that may 11:47 not seem too deep at first. But over 11:51 time, children who are controlled by 11:54 their desires without good religious 11:56 education and without knowing their 11:59 Lord will easily fall into it. 12:02 Therefore, it is the responsibility of 12:04 parents to oversee their child's 12:06 education and social life, both at home 12:09 and outside, so that it aligns with 12:11 Islamic rules. We should not say, "They 12:15 will change once they are older." 12:17 Habits are built starting from when? 12:20 Starting from early childhood, 12:22 until they become deeply rooted, and it 12:24 becomes very difficult for someone to 12:25 leave those habits behind. Then parents 12:28 must also give hope to their children. 12:31 Many people have repented and left 12:33 habits like this. One person who used 12:38 to engage in such habits, upon hearing 12:40 the warnings from Allah's verses and 12:43 the terrible threats, repented. He 12:47 repented. Subhanallah. Ever since he 12:50 abandoned this habit, what slowly grew 12:52 back? An attraction toward the opposite 12:56 sex. Eventually, he got married. He 12:59 married and had several children. Even 13:01 though he was once someone who was 13:04 involved in an unhealthy illness. So, 13:07 if something is inherent to human 13:09 nature, it cannot be avoided. He. 13:12 Because that is something that is part 13:14 of human composition. The same applies 13:17 to their soul. But if it is something 13:21 that is let's say external, done by 13:26 humans and becomes a habit, it can 13:28 actually be overcome with struggle and 13:30 a person's determination to leave that 13:33 habit. Like smoking, no matter how 13:36 heavy an addiction a person has to 13:38 cigarettes, if they have the 13:39 determination, spirit, and awareness, 13:41 God willing, they will easily be able 13:43 to quit that habit. So do not use 13:47 arrogant language, get angry, let alone 13:50 use physical blows. All of this will be 13:54 useless for the child. Especially at 13:56 high school age. 13:57 Yes, 13:57 at the age of 13:58 high school. 13:59 High school. Unless the parents are not 14:02 interested in improving their child or 14:04 treating their illness. They do not 14:06 care. If you keep doing things like 14:08 this, leave the house, you are no 14:10 longer a son to father and mother. If 14:11 that is indeed what you think, go ahead 14:13 . But if they think they want to 14:16 provide good therapy for their child, 14:19 to treat their illness, as well as 14:21 restore them by the grace of Allah 14:26 Subhanahu wa ta'ala to become a normal 14:28 human being, parents here must be 14:29 patient. And this is also part of their 14:32 responsibility. Hm. 14:34 But if we force them to leave the house 14:37 , that is an attitude we consider 14:40 irresponsible. irrespon- 14:43 sible 14:43 sible. Therefore, be patient, give good 14:48 advice, unless it has truly crossed the 14:53 line, it could pose a threat, yes, 14:58 spreading to others and they no longer 15:00 care about the warnings or good advice 15:03 given to them. That is a different 15:07 matter. But what is clear is that 15:11 parents here are responsible because 15:13 they neglected attention to their 15:15 children in their early years. 15:18 Hm. 15:18 Now, with the busyness of fathers and 15:21 mothers working outside, this also adds 15:23 what? Adds what else? Problems for our 15:28 children and opens a wide gap for the 15:30 entry of demons and the accomplices of 15:33 demons into the children. Therefore, 15:36 the closeness of parents is very 15:37 important with the children. Fathers 15:40 have time, mothers also have time. 15:43 Therefore, it would be better if the 15:45 one working outside is the father 15:47 without lowering the dignity of the 15:49 wife who works at home. Because the 15:52 wife's work at home is no less 15:53 important than the father's outside. 15:55 The father only earns a living, but the 15:57 wife who manages the home and pays 15:59 attention to the children may have an 16:01 even greater contribution. So they are 16:04 entitled to what? To receive the 16:07 results of what the husband gets as 16:11 what? As wages for raising his children 16:13 even if they are his own children. As 16:15 the Quran mentions, if a woman is 16:17 divorced and then this woman 16:19 breastfeeds her child, the husband is 16:22 obliged to pay wages for the wife who 16:25 breastfeeds his child. So never let a 16:29 man who earns a living boast about 16:31 himself, bringing up what he gives to 16:34 his wife until the wife is finally 16:37 driven to work so she has something to 16:39 hold onto, so she is not looked down 16:42 upon by her husband. Whereas the work 16:45 of a mother, a wife at home supervising 16:47 her children and paying attention to 16:50 their education, is a very noble job. 16:53 Therefore, Allah, our God, places the 16:55 status of a mother three times higher 16:57 than that of a father. 16:58 Oh. 17:00 So, cooperation between husband and 17:02 wife is truly needed to really 17:04 supervise and follow the growth and 17:06 development of their children. Because 17:09 for him to do something like this in 17:10 high school, it is impossible that this 17:12 is something new. 17:13 Yes. 17:15 Impossible. It means they have been 17:18 doing things like this for quite a long 17:20 time. Then it was uncovered by his 17:22 mother. Because in a narration, when 17:26 someone was caught stealing, he told 17:29 Sayyidina Umar that he had only stolen 17:32 for the first time. Sayyidina Umar 17:35 replied because he was still lying. 17:38 You are lying. If you had stolen for 17:40 the first time, Allah would not have 17:42 exposed your secret. 17:43 But you have done it repeatedly. Allah 17:46 gave a warning, but you were unaware. 17:48 Allah exposed the case and the bad 17:49 deeds. Hopefully, Allah protects our 17:52 children and our families from diseases 17:54 of this kind. Therefore, whoever wants 17:57 to be protected and guarded, let us 17:59 together enjoin good and forbid evil. 18:02 If we see a friend or someone we know 18:04 doing or getting close to deeds like 18:07 this, we should give a warning and good 18:09 advice. Do not mock, do not insult, do 18:13 not scold, do not expose their secrets. 18:15 Give good advice. 18:17 Allah. 18:18 May he repent to Allah Subhanahu wa 18:20 ta'ala. Wallahu'alam. 18:22 Amen. Amen, ya Rabbal Alamin. Thank you 18:24 , Ustaz, for the answer. Now, for Ustaz 18:28 Abu Bakar, we often see social media 18:31 exposure or peer environments as the 18:35 main triggers, right? However, from a 18:39 psychological perspective, Ustaz, what 18:42 about emotional vulnerability or the 18:45 void in connectivity with parents, as 18:48 previously explained, because parents 18:51 are busy—the term is "fatherless," 18:54 Ustaz. 18:56 The parental figure is, yes, lost; they 18:58 just give money and disappear. 19:01 Transfers are considered enough, even 19:03 though a father figure is needed to 19:05 accompany them from childhood, Ustaz, 19:07 from an early age. Now, there are many 19:10 "fatherless" cases that eventually lead 19:12 to examples like this, perhaps. Then, 19:15 because of this void in connectivity 19:19 and relationships, they end up seeking 19:22 validation and then fall into the wrong 19:25 group of friends, perhaps. 19:29 How do you see this, Pak Ustaz? Please. 19:35 Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. 19:39 Alhamdulillahi rabbil alamin. Ar-Rahman 19:44 ar-Rahim. Maliki yawmiddin, iyyaka 19:50 na'budu wa iyyaka nasta'in. Ihdinas 19:56 siratal mustaqim, siratalladzina 20:00 an'amta alaihim ghairil maghdubi 20:05 alaihim walad-dhalin. The mercy of 20:13 Allah, the mercy of our Beloved towards 20:18 ourselves. So, the mercy of Allah 20:24 towards us is poured out everywhere. It 20:32 has that mercy provides warmth for us. 20:43 But in this case we know of, do these 20:49 children have the mercy of Allah? Are 20:57 they receiving the mercy of Allah? No. 21:04 The mercy of Allah kept within himself. 21:11 Then he committed negative deeds. These 21:21 negative deeds are what caused him to 21:25 do that. But what makes him prone to 21:32 deeds of this kind? If we observe, both 21:42 the mother and father are busy working 21:48 and they don't know where to put their 21:55 child. When they return, they just busy 22:02 themselves with reprimanding, saying, " 22:07 It's done, tomorrow morning they will 22:11 do it again." And this action is what 22:15 makes that child feel lost. When coming 22:23 home from school, they are unable to 22:28 record kind words from both parents, 22:34 but rather questions. Hey, have you 22:37 done this yet? Have you done this yet? 22:39 Have you done that yet? Have you prayed 22:40 yet? Have you eaten? Not yet, already. 22:43 So the questions that they usually 22:47 receive, those questions enter their 22:53 mind and vanish again. So those 22:59 questions are what make them feel 23:02 stifled, so in that stifling, they want 23:07 to relax, they want something peaceful. 23:17 They cannot find that peace with anyone 23:20 , with whom. With whom should I be at 23:24 peace? Eventually, they run to 23:29 something with a similar process. This 23:34 is the core. However, if we look that 23:41 this behavior has happened since they 23:44 were in middle school, it already 23:51 happened in middle school, but we were 23:53 careless. We were indifferent to what 23:58 was being done. We were just 24:02 indifferent. Why, why are people just 24:05 fine, why are they normal meeting? Oh, 24:10 mom. Oh, dad. Okay, it's finished, they 24:14 go again. But they have already found 24:24 they have already found something 24:27 pleasant for themselves, according to 24:30 them. Even though that's not really 24:33 them. They feel happy, they feel they 24:38 are doing something pleasant. Maybe the 24:43 first time they did it alone, that 24:49 action alone. When they do it alone, 24:55 they feel restless that there must be 24:57 someone else. They look for whether 25:02 they whether they, uh, during high 25:07 school they looked for it, during 25:09 middle school we don't know. We only 25:12 know the information from high school. 25:15 But what we see is that since middle 25:17 school they have felt happy. Now, that 25:24 is what becomes a problem for them. So, 25:28 how do we handle it? First, we must 25:32 accept them, we must embrace them. 25:41 Should they have to admit it? Let's not 25:46 restrain them, don't give them 25:48 opportunities to be friends with just 25:51 anyone. School, after school they must 25:57 be at home and don't bring friends over 26:02 anymore. So, after school, you must be 26:07 at home yes. yes. Now it's easy with 26:13 calling, with calls, with, uh, WA, with 26:16 all sorts of things that we are already 26:20 , uh, accustomed to doing. So we 26:25 control the child through their phone 26:32 because the mother and father want to 26:34 go to work. Now, they go to work. Like 26:41 it or not, they have to work. Should 26:42 they quit? If possible, one of the 26:46 parents, the mother, should be at home. 26:51 But because of many demands, both must 26:54 work. That is their discretion. However 26:59 , what we must pay attention to is that 27:03 they must control. controlling a child. 27:10 We control every day. And after we 27:15 monitor, when we arrive home, we meet 27:18 the child, and we say, "You will not do 27:22 it again." So we assert to the child, 27:32 you will not do it again. Do what? 27:36 There is no need for us to explain. If 27:40 we explain, they will think of all 27:43 sorts of things. However, we only say 27:48 you will not do it again every day. So 27:59 we say you will not do it again. If 28:05 possible, seven times they can say you 28:08 will not do it again. And try to have 28:13 the child say it themselves; we don't 28:15 need to bring it up. We don't need to 28:18 do it yet. We will bring it up later. 28:26 The first time, we give them the chance 28:29 to say you will not do it again. Let 28:33 them think, let them reflect because 28:39 this act is not yet, uh, big, hasn't 28:44 become widespread, hasn't, uh, its 28:46 attributes haven't spread everywhere. 28:51 So it is still within themselves. We 28:55 say you will never do it again. Now, 29:01 these are the words that will be kept 29:04 by them. Every time they want to do it, 29:08 they will remember those words. And 29:13 then we give affection. Okay. You are 29:17 Mama's child whom she loves. You are 29:19 Papa's child whom Papa loves, even 29:23 though they still have other siblings. 29:27 And we pay attention to that constantly 29:29 . Now, let's look at how the other 29:33 siblings are. We return to the problem 29:40 of how that development will be 29:42 navigated. So, that development must be 29:49 navigated. Now, from 0 years to 4 years 29:55 , the child becomes a good, happy child 29:59 . So we say you are a good child, let's 30:05 not say you are wrong, you are like 30:07 that. Don't. We say you are a good 30:10 child, you are a good child. So from an 30:15 early age, under 4 years, oh you're a 30:19 good child, pretty child, great child, 30:23 all kinds of goodness are brought out, 30:26 nothing negative at all. Even until 4 30:33 years old, there is nothing negative. 30:37 When they make a mistake, well, you do 30:39 this instead. We don't need to talk 30:41 about the wrong part. because they 30:44 don't understand yet yeah. Since they 30:50 don't understand, we shouldn't tell 30:51 them. If we tell them, it gets into 30:55 their mind and they know that I am 30:57 wrong, this is wrong; until 4 years old 31:00 , give them only the good. The good. 31:05 Now, next we guide them because they 31:07 have entered into differentiation. they 31:11 start to be able to distinguish which 31:15 is themselves, what is good, what is 31:17 wrong. They are capable of 31:20 distinguishing. Then we let them know 31:25 that act is not good, this act is not 31:29 good, this act is good, that act is 31:32 good. That is what we assert. So we 31:38 emphasize good and not good things to 31:41 the child. At 7 years old, at 8 years 31:48 old and so on, we form reality. Try to 31:54 see that, pay attention to that. So 32:00 form the reality. Now, something 32:04 happened, the result is like this. If 32:07 you do this, you will be better. You 32:09 are better. So the reality and so on 32:15 and so forth, yes. So for the 7 to 8- 32:20 year-olds, that's what's real. That 32:26 child will be happy. And for similar 32:31 issues, we provide guidance from age 4 32:35 and up. Before age 4, we provide what 32:41 is good. After age 4, we tell them 32:46 about watching animated films. Pay 32:51 attention. Be careful with films that 32:58 depict women with women, or men with 33:02 men; it happens. And children will 33:10 watch, pay attention, and imitate what 33:14 they see. We cannot cover it up. Don't 33:18 watch that film. Don't watch that film. 33:22 They will be interested when we say 33:24 don't. They will be interested. So we 33:28 must emphasize that the act in the film 33:33 is not good. That act is an act that is 33:40 not good. So we will keep saying it 33:48 until they are 15, 17, or 18, that the 33:53 act is not good. Now, since they have 34:00 grown so big, we say that the act is 34:08 not good, and we shouldn't do it too 34:14 often, like once a week or once a month 34:18 , but schedule a time to talk about it 34:21 together. Call the children to sit 34:25 together and talk about how those film 34:27 acts are not good. Men with men is not 34:31 good, women with women is not good. Now 34:38 , this is the most important thing. It 34:41 must be taught from a young age. From a 34:46 young age, we must inform them. If they 34:50 are taught from a young age, God 34:52 willing, they will be able to withstand 34:54 it. God willing. 34:58 Alright, thank you, Ustaz Abu Bakar. 35:01 Now, Ustaz, this homosexuality issue, 35:04 for those brothers and sisters who 35:06 might have just joined. Earlier, we 35:10 brought up a case where parents 35:13 mentioned their child is showing signs 35:16 of being same-sex attracted, liking 35:19 their male friends. Now, Ustaz, in 35:23 Islam, we reject the behavior, right 35:28 Ustaz? Sometimes parents feel, 35:30 quote-unquote, safe after sending their 35:33 children to an Islamic-based school, 35:36 perhaps, Ustaz. But there might be, 35:39 what, some loopholes, Ustaz. Loopholes 35:43 that might erode the natural fitrah of 35:46 our children, Ustaz. Is it possible 35:50 that the lack of role models, like the 35:52 masculine role from the father or 35:54 feminine from the mother—and God 35:56 forbid if it ends up in lesbianism, 35:58 Ustaz? And perhaps there are also 36:02 children's rights that have been 36:04 neglected by their parents, Ustaz. So, 36:08 Ustaz, what if it has already happened? 36:12 It's already done. We can't repeat the 36:14 early years; now they are teenagers and 36:16 it has happened. What should we do, 36:18 Ustaz? 36:21 In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious 36:21 , the Most Merciful. May Allah increase 36:23 our knowledge and wisdom. Parents must 36:27 be truly serious. If both were working, 36:32 try for one to stay at home to 36:34 accompany the child. Because of 36:39 parental warmth, having parents present 36:41 with their children ensures that the 36:43 child won't run off to vent elsewhere. 36:46 Hm. 36:47 Because children during puberty often 36:49 experience stress. Stress not in terms 36:52 of thinking about, uh, 36:55 finances. 36:56 Finances for their living expenses. 36:57 Stress from hormonal changes within 36:59 them, as well as changes in their 37:01 psyche. 37:03 Desires towards the opposite sex begin 37:06 to emerge at that time, which is 37:08 unsettling—especially if they like a 37:11 girl and suddenly find out she moved on 37:14 to someone else, since they’re just 37:16 kids. 37:18 In the midst of social circles 37:20 that don't set boundaries between men 37:23 and women, it can create a heavy burden 37:25 , but subhanallah, a child who is warm 37:27 with their parents likes to confide in 37:30 them. Parents provide guidance and 37:33 direction. Parents can even ask, "You 37:37 seem to like someone." Because if they 37:40 don't feel pressured or threatened, 37:42 they will confide in their parents. 37:44 Now, parents can provide good direction 37:46 . Don't bottle it up. You are allowed 37:48 to have feelings. But if you want to be 37:51 successful and respected, you must be a 37:54 good man and study earnestly. Because 37:57 women only value those who are strong 37:58 and intelligent. The foolish will not 38:00 be respected. So don't get angry, 38:01 scolding them by saying, "You're still 38:03 small, what do you know, don't think 38:04 about that." No. This puberty phase is 38:06 a crucial time. They need direction and 38:09 guidance from their parents. Parents 38:12 really must know the state of their 38:13 children. My children, for example, 38:17 have confided in their parents about 38:19 everything since they were little. 38:22 Parents listen while providing guidance 38:24 because the child may not know what is 38:26 right or wrong. 38:28 Value systems are embedded through 38:30 dialogue between parent and child. 38:34 Furthermore, that warmth makes the 38:35 child not want to stay out long, but 38:37 instead yearn to return to what? 38:40 To be 38:41 in the presence of their parents. 38:42 Because they feel their parents are not 38:44 just parents, but also friends. 38:46 Yes. He 38:47 also friends. 38:48 Too. Then, do not stop praying. Do not 38:53 stop 38:54 praying. 38:54 Praying. Ask Allah, if it has already 38:57 happened, that Allah may heal their 38:58 heart's ailment. And Allah says, "Wa 39:01 idza sa'alaka 'ibadi' anni fa-inni 39:03 qarib." 39:11 So do not get tired of praying, as 39:13 prayer is a reinforcement from Allah. 39:17 In a hadith it is mentioned, "La 39:19 yaruddul qada illad du'a." Nothing can 39:22 change Allah's decree except for prayer 39:24 . Allah determines everything; Allah 39:28 Subhanahu wa ta'ala has the power to 39:30 change His decree through a servant's 39:32 prayer. Then, from an early age, 39:37 children must be connected to Allah. 39:40 Their hearts filled with Allah. 39:42 Maintaining prayers as best as possible 39:44 . Not just empty, flavorless prayers, 39:48 but prayer in the sense of 39:49 communicating with Allah. Children are 39:53 trained to speak with Allah, 39:56 Pouring out their hearts, asking of 39:58 Allah, which will make them feel that 40:03 in all their activities and movements, 40:04 they are connected to Allah Subhanahu 40:06 wa ta'ala. This will protect him from 40:09 the acts and whispers of the devil, and 40:12 will also guide his steps to walk upon 40:15 the truth. It is just a pity that 40:19 parents today prefer to focus on 40:22 directing their children toward their 40:24 school education 40:27 but forget the key to it. Forget the 40:30 key to success, which is Allah. 40:33 Therefore, Allah taught us* 40:35 bismillahirrahmanirrahim*not just as a 40:37 mere utterance, but to start all your 40:39 activities, your life, and your 40:40 struggles with Allah. 40:42 H 40:43 If you connect it with Allah, the Most 40:45 Gracious and the Most Merciful, God 40:49 willing, Allah will bless all your work 40:51 , 40:52 and bless your family. Why? Because in 40:55 working, we must never forget Allah. We 41:00 even pray to Allah, the Most Gracious 41:02 and Merciful, to bless our efforts in 41:03 raising our children as well. Even 41:06 before parents come together, they are 41:09 given guidance and instruction. 41:13 Allahumma jannibna bismillah, Allahumma 41:16 jannibnitan wa jannibish-shaytana ma 41:18 razaqtana. 41:19 In the name of Allah, we pray, O Allah, 41:22 keep us away from the devil and also 41:24 keep our children 41:26 whom You have gifted us away from the 41:27 devil. This is 41:28 as spoken by Sayyidah, who? The mother 41:31 of Sayyidah Maryam. 41:35 Wa inni u'idhuha bika wa dhurriyyataha 41:37 minash-shaytanir-rajim. I seek refuge 41:40 in You, O Allah, I entrust the 41:42 protection of my child to You from the 41:44 devil. Likewise for their offspring. 41:50 Allah most loves and cherishes the 41:52 servants who always remember Him and 41:54 pray to Him. So if we only rely on our 41:59 own efforts, 42:01 Allah will return everything, and the 42:03 results will depend on our efforts. If 42:06 the effort is good, it yields good; if 42:08 the effort is bad, it fails. But if we 42:11 connect our deeds with Allah, besides 42:14 our own efforts, there is a grace from 42:16 Allah and the Messenger of Allah 42:18 that anything dangerous will be kept 42:20 away from us by Allah. H. 42:22 But good results, those full of 42:24 blessings, are what Allah will open for 42:26 us. Therefore, sometimes people pray, 42:29 yet they do not get what they desire. 42:32 It is not that Allah does not grant it. 42:33 Allah does grant their prayer. 42:37 It is just that Allah diverts it to 42:38 something better. Because what they 42:41 desired was something that would be 42:43 dangerous or harmful to them. Wa 'asa 42:46 an takrahu shay'an wa huwa khayrun 42:48 lakum. Many things you like, but it 42:52 turns out what? They are bad for you. 42:57 There is a man who likes a woman he 43:00 dreams of, but the woman marries 43:02 another man. 43:04 Even though he had prayed to be able to 43:06 marry this woman. It turns out Allah 43:09 shows him someone better than that 43:12 woman. Until he says after he realizes, 43:16 "O Allah, if I had gotten that one, my 43:18 life might not be like this. 43:20 I got a pious woman, a good one, who 43:22 supports me, is full of understanding, 43:24 and he realizes if he had gotten the 43:26 other woman, he would not necessarily 43:28 be happy." 43:30 Therefore, why we need*istikhara*and 43:32 consultation so that we get the right 43:35 one. So, ladies and gentlemen, wherever 43:39 you are, whatever situation you are 43:42 facing, including trials. The trials we 43:46 face, including those regarding our 43:48 children and our family, let us not 43:51 forget Allah and never confront our 43:54 children using harsh language, 43:57 oh 43:58 rude, or using intimidation. You must 44:01 be like this, father and mother work 44:04 hard for, uh, your future. So, you must 44:08 truly make father and mother happy with 44:10 your achievements without considering 44:12 how they feel. This is what is missing 44:15 from most of us nowadays. Therefore, we 44:19 must always be with Allah in all 44:22 matters. The same applies to educating 44:26 our children. Then speak gently with 44:30 them and never use harsh methods that 44:34 will eventually result in what? 44:38 Resulting in reactions and effects that 44:40 will not please us. Because even if 44:44 they deviate, if parents keep providing 44:46 sweet and gentle words, the child will 44:47 not argue. Because why? They feel 44:51 affection for their parents. If their 44:54 affection for their parents is greater, 44:56 then God willing, this will also help 44:58 them 44:59 to leave behind bad deeds. If necessary 45:04 , the parents should speak gently, " 45:06 Don't you know what has befallen you, 45:10 what makes you suffer, or that the 45:13 mistakes you made are heavier for 45:15 father and mother than for you yourself 45:17 ?" 45:19 Father does not think for himself. 45:21 Mother is the same. Thinking for your 45:23 well-being in this world and the 45:25 hereafter. Father and mother do not 45:27 want to be separated from you in the 45:28 hereafter. We want to be gathered 45:30 together in the gardens of paradise. 45:32 These are gentle languages. Use them as 45:35 the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon 45:37 him, did. Laqad kana lakum fi 45:40 rasulillahi uswatun hasanah. A good 45:42 example. 45:44 Anas bin Malik who lived with the 45:46 Prophet and helped him said that the 45:48 Prophet never once scolded me. Even if 45:53 I committed an offense by being lazy, 45:55 he never said, "Why didn't you do this, 45:58 why did you do this," but rather gave 46:00 good guidance. Now, as an illustrative 46:04 example uh, the Prophet depicts how 46:10 someone acted harshly towards the 46:13 Prophet. When the Prophet was riding a 46:18 camel, it was pulled by a Bedouin who 46:20 then said, "I am even happier." The 46:24 Prophet said, "Wait until I receive 46:26 zakat or something comes in, and I will 46:28 give it to you." The companions were 46:32 angry seeing the treatment of this 46:34 Bedouin. These Arabs, when they were 46:36 harsh, their harshness knew no bounds. 46:40 And the character of these Bedouins 46:42 when listening to the verses of Allah, 46:44 what did they say? O Allah, if this is 46:47 the truth, rain down stones upon us or 46:50 send a painful punishment. Not asking 46:52 for guidance, asking for a rain of 46:53 stones. Imagine, s- 46:54 masha'Allah 46:57 A'rab here describes the Bedouin Arabs, 46:59 not all Arabs, but those harsh Bedouins 47:01 . The Prophet said to his angry 47:07 companions, "My parable with this man 47:10 is like someone who finds their horse 47:13 or camel in a state of thrashing and 47:16 rebelling." I approach the camel or the 47:23 horse slowly with dry grass until it 47:27 comes to me, and I tame it once again. 47:32 If I did what you wanted to do, what 47:35 would happen? 47:36 They would all leave. 47:37 The camel would run away. The Prophet 47:39 felt the same toward his people, let 47:41 alone our own children. 47:44 Now, when parents are stressed and come 47:47 home, they take that stress out on 47:49 their wives and children. Likewise, for 47:52 you mothers. Therefore, parents must 47:54 maintain a work-life balance. Don't 47:57 just focus on work, money, money, money 47:59 , or hanging out with friends to 48:00 entertain yourself, forgetting your 48:02 wife and children at home. Make use of 48:06 your time at work and with your friends 48:09 . But don't forget those who need you 48:12 at home, your wife and children, who 48:14 are your responsibility. Because the 48:16 wife doesn't go out of the house, does 48:18 she? 48:18 Yes. 48:19 Children are also under the supervision 48:20 of their parents. That is a trust that 48:22 Allah has placed upon our shoulders. We 48:26 shouldn't just spend all our time 48:27 wandering here and there with our 48:29 friends. Some spend their time playing 48:32 cards. Others spend their time in idle 48:36 talk and laughter. They forget their 48:39 wives who are faithfully waiting at 48:41 home. The same goes for children who 48:42 long for their parents' presence. 48:44 Now, the impact of all this is deviance 48:46 in our wives and deviance in our 48:48 children as well. 48:50 Hopefully, Allah grants us awareness. 48:54 So don't forget to pray, guard your 48:56 prayers, and don't let them be hollow 48:58 or empty. Prayer should be a truly 49:02 living communication 49:04 between us and Allah. We complain to 49:07 Him, plead with Him, confide in Him, 49:10 pour out our hearts, and that is a 49:13 beautiful way out for all of us. Allah 49:16 knows best. Ustaz, sorry, sometimes 49:18 cell phones distract us too; after 49:21 getting home from work, instead of 49:23 talking to the children, for instance, 49:25 or interacting with the kids or wife, 49:27 the husband ends up playing on his 49:29 phone. There are also those who play 49:32 online games until 49:33 they get sleepy and fall asleep. In the 49:35 end, 49:35 communication is reduced too, Ustaz. 49:38 Sometimes a father is like that; when 49:40 his children want to be with him, he 49:41 drives them far away. 49:43 Yes. " 49:44 Dad wants to rest." That's right. Yes. 49:46 The children are driven far away. 49:48 Therefore, open yourself up to listen 49:50 to our children, and the same goes for 49:52 our grandchildren. 49:53 True happiness is a kind of happiness 49:55 that cannot be bought and cannot be 49:57 replaced by anything else. 49:59 Feel free to use your phone, but there 50:00 must be limits, right? There must be 50:02 limits. 50:04 Lastly, Mr. Abu Bakar, usually when 50:05 there are problems like this, parents 50:07 try to keep them tightly sealed. They 50:10 view this as a disgrace, Ustaz. 50:11 If it happens to our children, it is 50:13 kept tightly hidden. So, what should 50:16 the attitude of parents be? Should they 50:19 keep it tightly hidden or what? And 50:21 what about the attitude of the 50:23 community that knows about it or tries 50:26 to stem this epidemic, Ustaz, how 50:29 should it be handled, Mr. Abu Bakar? 50:32 And usually, there's also an effect 50:33 where parents might blame each other, 50:35 Ustaz. " 50:36 Wow, this is your fault," to the wife. 50:39 Likewise, the wife says, "It's your 50:41 fault, husband," regarding his busyness 50:43 , so that, you know, the household, the 50:46 home, remains peaceful. 50:48 Okay. 50:49 Remains sakinah, you know. What is it 50:50 like, Sir? Abu Bakar. 50:51 In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious 50:53 , the Most Merciful. So, when a husband 50:57 and wife blame each other—when the 51:03 wife is wrong, the husband blames her, 51:06 and when the husband is wrong, the wife 51:09 blames him—then that will never lead 51:12 to anything good. So, both of them— 51:17 whenever someone is wrong, we should 51:19 show the good, and the wrong part 51:21 doesn't need to be discussed. Which 51:25 causes problems. No. So we show the 51:29 good things in that meeting. Now, when 51:35 we are with the children, we convince 51:38 ourselves that they are a trust from 51:43 God. So all of them are a trust. We 51:50 convince ourselves that Allah has 51:52 entrusted them to us. When Allah 51:57 entrusts us, we do good deeds. However, 52:02 when there are things that are not good 52:04 , we surrender them to Allah. "I have 52:09 only been able to do this much.""You 52:12 are the better one, O Allah." So 52:16 surrender to Allah and we still guide 52:20 them, we don't just let go. As long as 52:25 they are still with us, we will guide 52:27 them, we will direct them, and we trust 52:34 that Allah will participate in guiding 52:37 and directing them. Maybe our guidance 52:42 is somewhat wrong. Later, Allah will 52:45 rectify it. The important thing is that 52:50 we remember this is a trust from Allah. 52:54 That the children are a trust from 52:56 Allah. They are a trust. Later, after 53:03 that, we surrender them to Allah. It 53:07 doesn't mean that when they are older, 53:09 when they are adults, we just let go. 53:11 No. They remain a trust from Allah. And 53:16 when we guide and direct them, we 53:18 surrender it to Allah. When we do a 53:22 good deed for our child, we surrender 53:26 it, "I have done this deed.""If it is 53:30 good, it will continue to be good.""If 53:33 it is not good, Allah will provide the 53:35 goodness." Because we attach ourselves 53:40 to Allah. Because He is the one who 53:42 entrusted them. So we don't ignore them 53:47 , we are not neglectful. Yes. So pay 53:53 attention: when we do something good or 53:56 do something for our child, we 53:59 surrender to Allah that I have done 54:02 this for the child. Later, Allah will 54:06 arrange it. Where they go and what they 54:11 do is up to Allah. So we just do it, 54:16 and when we do something, we surrender 54:18 it to the One who entrusted them. There 54:23 is no objection to anything. H 54:28 Yes, we just say it, and no one else 54:29 needs to know. Is it necessary? "Eh, I 54:33 have already said all these good things 54:35 .""O Allah, I have already spoken to 54:38 You," no need to tell other people. We 54:44 do it, we surrender it to Allah, and it 54:46 is finished. Whatever the result is, 54:49 that will come later. Now, if you pay 54:56 attention, if both husband and wife are 55:00 good, God willing, their children will 55:04 be good. Amen. God willing. 55:06 God willing. 55:07 Alright, 55:07 Perhaps Kang Rizal, from the Ustaz, 55:10 regarding the case involving our child. 55:15 If it is only known within the family 55:18 circle, do not spread it. Do not tell 55:22 it to outsiders, keep it within the 55:24 domain 55:26 of the family. 55:27 The family. Because it is hoped that if 55:31 the child wants to repent, and the case 55:33 is already circulating, becoming the 55:35 talk of the town, this will become an 55:37 obstacle for the child to repent. 55:39 Hm. Yes. 55:41 But if the behavior is already known by 55:44 the community because it was vulgar, 55:47 then we should naturally invite the 55:50 community to work together to provide 55:52 good guidance for the child. Do not 55:55 scorn, 55:56 do not insult, but together remind this 55:59 child to repent. Because if it is 56:05 already known by the community, besides 56:07 them giving advice, do not let any 56:09 contagion occur. Once their actions are 56:12 known, do not let other community 56:14 members get infected by this disease. 56:16 Masyaallah. Masyaallah. 56:17 So it is known, but everyone provides 56:19 advice together. Usually, if advice 56:21 comes in time, Sir, a large number of 56:23 people around who are attentive will 56:25 become a motivation for them to change. 56:27 Because they feel what? 56:29 Cared for. Cared for and also feel that 56:31 they are different from the people 56:32 around them. They will feel lonely 56:34 later. Yes. Yes. 56:36 If they are close to their parents, 56:38 they will not run away. But if they are 56:40 far from their parents, far from the 56:42 community, they will migrate to find a 56:44 place where they are free to do 56:46 whatever they want. 56:48 So, do not use harsh language. Do not 56:51 use intimidation, whether our child is 56:54 in childhood or has started middle 56:57 school. Even in high school, face our 57:01 child as a human being who has feelings 57:05 and truly longs for the warmth and 57:08 attention of parents. Therefore, we 57:12 find people who fall into this kind of 57:13 disease because of losing their parents 57:15 . Fatherless, also motherless. 57:19 Losing a father, the presence of a 57:21 father. Likewise with a mother. 57:24 Even if they are physically present, 57:25 Ustaz. Yes, 57:26 The father is physically present; the 57:28 father meets them every day. 57:30 The mother is the same, but the mother 57:32 is busy with friends outside, with her 57:33 social gatherings, with this, with that 57:35 . Especially if the mother works, and 57:37 even more so if there are problems 57:38 between father and mother. These issues 57:41 eventually have an impact that is quite 57:45 truly alarming. So, hopefully, this 57:48 serves as a good warning, and hopefully 57:51 , LGBT can be stopped immediately and 57:53 even wiped out from our country. 57:56 Because the rate of transmission and 57:58 spread is very massive and even gets 57:59 support 58:00 through, let's say, networks 58:04 and films, as well as novels 58:05 circulating now, 58:07 yes, 58:07 always accompanied by LGBT 58:09 presentations. Subhanakallahumma 58:12 wabihamdika ashadu an la ilaha illa 58:14 anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilaik. 58:20 Wassalamualaikum warahmatullahi 58:22 wabarakatuh. 58:23 Waalaikumsalam warahmatullahi 58:24 wabarakatuh. Thank you, Ustaz Husin 58:26 Atas and also Ustaz Abu Bakar Baraja. 58:29 Masyaallah, from the discussion 58:31 regarding this case, God willing, we 58:34 can take lessons and wisdom so that we 58:36 can learn to protect the pure nature of 58:39 our children from an early age, Ustaz. 58:42 Masyaallah. God willing, Allah will 58:44 protect our families. Amin. Amin ya 58:46 rabbal alamin. Brothers and sisters, 58:48 before we end, we would like to remind 58:50 you that tomorrow, God willing, we will 58:52 meet at the Silaturahim Mosque for the 58:54 Umahat Silaturahim assembly with Ustadz 58:56 Hamzah Halatas, focusing on the theme 58:58 of embodying the character of the 59:00 Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. It 59:03 will be tomorrow, Wednesday, September 59:06 23, 2026, from 9:00 AM to 11:00 AM, 59:08 specifically for the mothers. However, 59:13 the doors are also open for the 59:15 gentlemen who wish to attend, meet 59:17 Ustadz Hamzah, and engage in dialogue; 59:19 you may also consult on religious 59:20 matters or discuss this theme of 59:22 embodying the character of the Prophet, 59:24 peace be upon him. Brothers and sisters 59:28 , you are also welcome to bring food 59:30 and drinks, a potluck, so we can eat 59:31 and drink together. Finally, I am Rizal 59:35 Alhaq, along with the team on duty, 59:36 Kang Oni Saputra and Ustadz Algi Fakrji 59:38 , may God grant us success and guidance 59:40 . Wasalamualaikum warahmatullah 59:42 wabarakatuh. 
